Disproving Evolution, Time and Time Again

Baseball is one of those things I have to say is more fun to play than it ever could be to watch. It takes a patient person to sit through an entire game. I mean, really, there is only so much of that slow paced action I can take without risking drowning in a puddle of my own drool. It may be America's pastime but it takes too much time to pass. Thankfully I'm here to offer up some thrilling adjustments that could be made to the game in order to broaden it's audience.
One such change would be to pitch a different ball to every batter...now the catch is that one in 300 balls is packed with a high explosive. I'd sit through a boring game, no matter how slow, for that.
Another cool change would be if the bases were actually sentient little robots that moved around as they pleased. Who says that bases should always remain in a perfect diamond? You know what, if third base feels like walking out of the stadium and down to the corner deli. who are we to stop it? Take it to the streets! I want to see someone slide into second in a phone booth, or pick up a Gatorade on the way back from being called out.
Another helpful adjustment would be the reduction of the game to 6 innings and the addition of a 3 minute dance break in-between each one. All of the players hit the field and tear it up, with glow sticks and whatnot. That would definitely give everyone a much needed tension release.

One day, my childhood dream of a Chocolate Milk fountain will not only be realized, but will surely take the place of all the world's existing water fountains!