The night before the night before Christmas
All I want for Christmas is a blue hamster...
a blue ball
a bowling ball
a ball python
a ball of snow
a snow cone
a traffic cone
a traffic light
a northern light
a lighthouse
a house party
a party hat
a felt hat
a felt rabbit
a rabbit hole
a hole-in-one
someone
some peace
some help
some friends
some love
Some of that free stuff
Christmas, come on down the chimney
Santa lives in you and in me
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Candy McHandy
When creativity seems to escape me I have but one option. Write a Haiku.
Smell the hot coffee
Water strained through the bean grounds
Caffine does nothing
...dang it. That's what I've got? Seriously, even if I'm creativly deprived that's what I came up with? I'm sorry, I shall do my best to correct this problem.
Sauce...mmmm.
Smell the hot coffee
Water strained through the bean grounds
Caffine does nothing
...dang it. That's what I've got? Seriously, even if I'm creativly deprived that's what I came up with? I'm sorry, I shall do my best to correct this problem.
Sauce...mmmm.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Seven Seeds for Happy People
Cigarettes and Booze
Today I slept in. Yesterday was my last exam day and I wasn’t sure if I should wait to come home or not. That apartment, heck, Wilmington for that matter, can be a lonely place. I’m really beginning to wonder if I shouldn’t find a way to get some color up on the walls in that room of mine. After a semester of slightly off-white bouncing into my retinas I fear my mind is going slightly off-sane. Obviously, I decided to stay.
My roommate left Thursday. Empty, empty. My morning was a bit surreal. I slept and then my alarm went off. I shut it off and quickly realized that I had no obligation to get up. For a moment I wobbled on one elbow and then let it collapse beneath me.
More sleep.
Sleep has been good to me lately, though my sleeping habits have changed a startling amount this semester. I no longer sleep without waking in the early morning. Every morning my imaginary alarm goes off around 8:30 or 9:00. I usually breath a deep breath, look at the light coming through the window and roll over. For thirty seconds I’ll think the same thing I do every morning. I thank God that I’m alive, I wonder if I should get up. These thirty or so seconds are wonderful, then it hits me. I remember.
This morning I slept again. It was good. I woke up and repeated the process twice before finally stumbling to my feet. It was a very lazy morning. I took a shower and packed everything I knew, or thought I might need. Cameras, cloths, borrowed books and pet projects all found their place in my “college” luggage, (duffle bag and milk crate)It all went inside the mean green-splorer and I came up for one last look around. You know what I’m talking about, the “better not have left my cell charger or toothbrush” round. It felt weird leaving. No one was in the building that I knew, but I felt like I was leaving someone. I didn’t like it at all. I said goodbye to the ladybug on the stairwell window as I walked down, then drove off.
That sun was something else.
It was nearly 70 degrees today! I have a bad feeling about this kind of weather less than 10 days before Christmas. People should not be able to tan in North Carolina on the 16th of December. Who am I kidding, I loved it. Maybe the world is overheating but at least I get to wear short sleeves when I’m outside. When I pulled out of the lot I noticed that everything looked golden, totally washed by the December summer sun. It was pretty.
I pulled up to a pump at the BP next to campus. That is where I met Grover.
“Hey hey hey, my man!”
I couldn’t see him yet but I knew instantly it was a homeless man. Why do they all have the same opening line? I stepped back and looked around the pump. A man, wearing a yellow UNCW shirt just like one of mine, was walking diagonally closer to me with that nervous shuffle step; a step that could so instantly turn into retreat if I told him to buzz off. He wasn’t looking at me but there was no one else around.
“Are you talking to me?” I asked.
“Yeah, man. I’m talking to you. I was wondering, could you help me out?”
I stood in silence for a moment.
“I’m just a homeless man,” he said, “I live back here behind Hardees in a shack with one other man. Most people don’t believe me when I tell them that, I do though. I’ll take you back there to see it if you want to.”
“Nah, that's ok.” I said sheepishly.
He asked me if I was leaving town and told me how he’d like to. He was from Charlotte and had no way of heading back to see his family. I asked him how he ended up in Wilmington and he told me that he just got out of the penitentiary. He couldn’t get a job but was hoping to get some work painting in a couple of weeks. We talked for a while about this, then the pump clicked off in my hand. I gave it a couple of squeezes to the next dollar.
I wanted, for a moment, to take him over to Hardees and get him a burger, but then I decided not to. I didn’t want to insult him, I know there are people out there that really want to get their lives straight after they get out, so I pulled out my wallet.
“I’m a college student,” I said, “I don’t have much money, will three dollars help?”
“Oh yeah, it all helps. Three dollars, that’ll get me, lets see, couple burgers off the 99 cent menu and...Thanks, thank you. You have a good time at home, now.”
He had already stared to turn away when I told him I’d be praying for him and that I hoped it could find a job soon. He nodded his head and told me to do that. His hand had gone into his pocket for something. As he made his way past the front of my car I wished him well once more. He turned his head just enough for me to see the cigarette dangling from his lips.
“You too man,” he said with his back to me, “ And don’t forget to say that prayer for me.”
It was the way he said it. He was laughing at me. He had what he wanted and he didn’t even wait for me to leave before disappearing behind the station door.
I went home.
There was something beautifully wrong with the light from the sun today. It was like snowflakes drifting through a desert sky. Sure it’s not right, but it would still be beautiful. The closer I got to home the more brightly the world around me glowed. I got on 95 and was heading due east, the sun hung low directly behind me. A tractor-trailer passed and the sharp reflection off it’s chrome-like gate caught me off guard. I blinked a few times and took a look around. It was like I was in an old brown photograph that moved. Through the rear-view I saw little flecks of stone in the river of pavement behind me that sparkled like Christmas lights.
Christmas is coming soon. It’s good to be home.
Today I slept in. Yesterday was my last exam day and I wasn’t sure if I should wait to come home or not. That apartment, heck, Wilmington for that matter, can be a lonely place. I’m really beginning to wonder if I shouldn’t find a way to get some color up on the walls in that room of mine. After a semester of slightly off-white bouncing into my retinas I fear my mind is going slightly off-sane. Obviously, I decided to stay.
My roommate left Thursday. Empty, empty. My morning was a bit surreal. I slept and then my alarm went off. I shut it off and quickly realized that I had no obligation to get up. For a moment I wobbled on one elbow and then let it collapse beneath me.
More sleep.
Sleep has been good to me lately, though my sleeping habits have changed a startling amount this semester. I no longer sleep without waking in the early morning. Every morning my imaginary alarm goes off around 8:30 or 9:00. I usually breath a deep breath, look at the light coming through the window and roll over. For thirty seconds I’ll think the same thing I do every morning. I thank God that I’m alive, I wonder if I should get up. These thirty or so seconds are wonderful, then it hits me. I remember.
This morning I slept again. It was good. I woke up and repeated the process twice before finally stumbling to my feet. It was a very lazy morning. I took a shower and packed everything I knew, or thought I might need. Cameras, cloths, borrowed books and pet projects all found their place in my “college” luggage, (duffle bag and milk crate)It all went inside the mean green-splorer and I came up for one last look around. You know what I’m talking about, the “better not have left my cell charger or toothbrush” round. It felt weird leaving. No one was in the building that I knew, but I felt like I was leaving someone. I didn’t like it at all. I said goodbye to the ladybug on the stairwell window as I walked down, then drove off.
That sun was something else.
It was nearly 70 degrees today! I have a bad feeling about this kind of weather less than 10 days before Christmas. People should not be able to tan in North Carolina on the 16th of December. Who am I kidding, I loved it. Maybe the world is overheating but at least I get to wear short sleeves when I’m outside. When I pulled out of the lot I noticed that everything looked golden, totally washed by the December summer sun. It was pretty.
I pulled up to a pump at the BP next to campus. That is where I met Grover.
“Hey hey hey, my man!”
I couldn’t see him yet but I knew instantly it was a homeless man. Why do they all have the same opening line? I stepped back and looked around the pump. A man, wearing a yellow UNCW shirt just like one of mine, was walking diagonally closer to me with that nervous shuffle step; a step that could so instantly turn into retreat if I told him to buzz off. He wasn’t looking at me but there was no one else around.
“Are you talking to me?” I asked.
“Yeah, man. I’m talking to you. I was wondering, could you help me out?”
I stood in silence for a moment.
“I’m just a homeless man,” he said, “I live back here behind Hardees in a shack with one other man. Most people don’t believe me when I tell them that, I do though. I’ll take you back there to see it if you want to.”
“Nah, that's ok.” I said sheepishly.
He asked me if I was leaving town and told me how he’d like to. He was from Charlotte and had no way of heading back to see his family. I asked him how he ended up in Wilmington and he told me that he just got out of the penitentiary. He couldn’t get a job but was hoping to get some work painting in a couple of weeks. We talked for a while about this, then the pump clicked off in my hand. I gave it a couple of squeezes to the next dollar.
I wanted, for a moment, to take him over to Hardees and get him a burger, but then I decided not to. I didn’t want to insult him, I know there are people out there that really want to get their lives straight after they get out, so I pulled out my wallet.
“I’m a college student,” I said, “I don’t have much money, will three dollars help?”
“Oh yeah, it all helps. Three dollars, that’ll get me, lets see, couple burgers off the 99 cent menu and...Thanks, thank you. You have a good time at home, now.”
He had already stared to turn away when I told him I’d be praying for him and that I hoped it could find a job soon. He nodded his head and told me to do that. His hand had gone into his pocket for something. As he made his way past the front of my car I wished him well once more. He turned his head just enough for me to see the cigarette dangling from his lips.
“You too man,” he said with his back to me, “ And don’t forget to say that prayer for me.”
It was the way he said it. He was laughing at me. He had what he wanted and he didn’t even wait for me to leave before disappearing behind the station door.
I went home.
There was something beautifully wrong with the light from the sun today. It was like snowflakes drifting through a desert sky. Sure it’s not right, but it would still be beautiful. The closer I got to home the more brightly the world around me glowed. I got on 95 and was heading due east, the sun hung low directly behind me. A tractor-trailer passed and the sharp reflection off it’s chrome-like gate caught me off guard. I blinked a few times and took a look around. It was like I was in an old brown photograph that moved. Through the rear-view I saw little flecks of stone in the river of pavement behind me that sparkled like Christmas lights.
Christmas is coming soon. It’s good to be home.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Remington Red-Wild Rocket Ships!
Some observations...
Paperbacks are a lot easier to read than hardbacks. Why are hardbacks considered so much better? I know that they hold up better but who cares if your book is in pristine condition if it's really uncomfortable to read it? And there there are those little sleeves that put over the covers. I just take those things off. Otherwise I never feel like I'm truly holding the book, it slides from hand to hand all willy-nilly. It's like they made a hard back and thought, it's not papery enough, lets put some easily mangled paper on the outside of it to make it more papery. So much for the handsome hard bound.
I had a Hot-Pocket the other day. Before you grimace in disgust, just know that I, too, grimace in disgust. They were the beef taco variety and what caught my eye was the "Gret Tortilla Taste" emblem stamped on the front. I assume they're talking about the pocket's crust. In any case there was no hint of tortilla taste anywhere in the pocket or outside of it. Instead I got "soggy Hot-Pocket crust taste" which can hardly be described as great. I don't care how I cook a hot-pocket, they always come out steaming at about 1,000,000 degrees F. At this point I'm quite certain that a Hot-Pocket could be considered a weapon of mass destruction.
Why does Wal*Mart have so many check out counters if they're never going to staff them all? I've been to Wal*Mart before when it was peak hours and lines are backed up everywhere, there are still at least half the registers empty. I am left to assume that Wal*Mart's policy is to have that many registers just to spite it's customers who must look at them while waiting in line behind four people who have apparently taken to doing their shopping by decade. Another part of me wants to believe that they are there in case of a widespread emergency so they can bring in more people to staff the emergency registers. I prefer to believe in this one because while I'm waiting, it leaves me to ponder exactly what Wal*Mart would classify as a wide-scale emergency.
What play would go good with Hamlet? I want to make a Hamlet sandwitch.
Paperbacks are a lot easier to read than hardbacks. Why are hardbacks considered so much better? I know that they hold up better but who cares if your book is in pristine condition if it's really uncomfortable to read it? And there there are those little sleeves that put over the covers. I just take those things off. Otherwise I never feel like I'm truly holding the book, it slides from hand to hand all willy-nilly. It's like they made a hard back and thought, it's not papery enough, lets put some easily mangled paper on the outside of it to make it more papery. So much for the handsome hard bound.
I had a Hot-Pocket the other day. Before you grimace in disgust, just know that I, too, grimace in disgust. They were the beef taco variety and what caught my eye was the "Gret Tortilla Taste" emblem stamped on the front. I assume they're talking about the pocket's crust. In any case there was no hint of tortilla taste anywhere in the pocket or outside of it. Instead I got "soggy Hot-Pocket crust taste" which can hardly be described as great. I don't care how I cook a hot-pocket, they always come out steaming at about 1,000,000 degrees F. At this point I'm quite certain that a Hot-Pocket could be considered a weapon of mass destruction.
Why does Wal*Mart have so many check out counters if they're never going to staff them all? I've been to Wal*Mart before when it was peak hours and lines are backed up everywhere, there are still at least half the registers empty. I am left to assume that Wal*Mart's policy is to have that many registers just to spite it's customers who must look at them while waiting in line behind four people who have apparently taken to doing their shopping by decade. Another part of me wants to believe that they are there in case of a widespread emergency so they can bring in more people to staff the emergency registers. I prefer to believe in this one because while I'm waiting, it leaves me to ponder exactly what Wal*Mart would classify as a wide-scale emergency.
What play would go good with Hamlet? I want to make a Hamlet sandwitch.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
If Yoga Were a Food, Would it be Dairy?
Well, well, well. Something familiar is happening all around me but I must admit, this time it feels very different. People are packing up their things and leaving, in quite a hurry too. It's always kind of sad to watch people go. You're friends start to disappear, then acquaintances, and after a while (if you're like me you have to stay the whole exam period) you're left in an empty room whistling and humming Eric Clapton songs to keep yourself company. "I shot the sherriiiiiiif, but I swear it was in self defense..."
So yes, it is different though. This is the first time I've been leaving school and actually felt like something better may come of it. Usually I look on the long winter break as a sort of challenge. You know, how can I avoid family holiday drama and the endless boredom of sitting in an empty house for hours on end type stuff. I have to admit, though, that it is in those lonely hours that much of my best thinking is done. Brainstorms aside, it's generally an awkward time of transition that is both wonderful (seeing the family, Christmas celebrations) and horrible (sleeping until 11 and watching TV for hours). Hopefully I can reap the benefits of several fattening meals while avoiding the general drool-inducing lacklustre of home alonedom.
At least I have something to really look forward to. Next semester. I'm hoping for something exciting. I'm at one of those points in my life where I know either something amazingly good is going to happen, or something awe-inspiringly depressing. On the one had, having the confusing puzzle pieces of a college junior's life all come together would be great, but on the other hand, even if I find out life is going to suck for me, I'm sure I'll find comfort in knowing that I don't have to wonder anymore.
Nah, I'm just playing cynical.
I really feel like the growth I've experienced this past year is going to catapult me to new heights of Sloandom. I'll have more time to spend with my small group. I have a church here in Wilmington that I'm excited about getting more involved in. I think I'm going to enjoy my classes, and I know that I'm going to enjoy the extra time that only 15 hours will afford me. I have some hobbies that I plan on getting serious about and some new things I want to try and people I hope to meet (whoever they may be, I'm really hoping for a president of an African country or a champion clogger).
I'll be heading back home this weekend but, for the time being, my heart will stay in Wilmington. In spirit I'll be somewhere between the romantically dim-lit alleyways of downtown, blanketed in thick fog, and the bright morning lights of the Goody-Goody Omelet House. In the spirit of anticipation of a better year and a happy future. God bless you my dear reader(s).
Does the Hamburgler not realize that if he burgled money he could AFFORD hamburgers among other things?
So yes, it is different though. This is the first time I've been leaving school and actually felt like something better may come of it. Usually I look on the long winter break as a sort of challenge. You know, how can I avoid family holiday drama and the endless boredom of sitting in an empty house for hours on end type stuff. I have to admit, though, that it is in those lonely hours that much of my best thinking is done. Brainstorms aside, it's generally an awkward time of transition that is both wonderful (seeing the family, Christmas celebrations) and horrible (sleeping until 11 and watching TV for hours). Hopefully I can reap the benefits of several fattening meals while avoiding the general drool-inducing lacklustre of home alonedom.
At least I have something to really look forward to. Next semester. I'm hoping for something exciting. I'm at one of those points in my life where I know either something amazingly good is going to happen, or something awe-inspiringly depressing. On the one had, having the confusing puzzle pieces of a college junior's life all come together would be great, but on the other hand, even if I find out life is going to suck for me, I'm sure I'll find comfort in knowing that I don't have to wonder anymore.
Nah, I'm just playing cynical.
I really feel like the growth I've experienced this past year is going to catapult me to new heights of Sloandom. I'll have more time to spend with my small group. I have a church here in Wilmington that I'm excited about getting more involved in. I think I'm going to enjoy my classes, and I know that I'm going to enjoy the extra time that only 15 hours will afford me. I have some hobbies that I plan on getting serious about and some new things I want to try and people I hope to meet (whoever they may be, I'm really hoping for a president of an African country or a champion clogger).
I'll be heading back home this weekend but, for the time being, my heart will stay in Wilmington. In spirit I'll be somewhere between the romantically dim-lit alleyways of downtown, blanketed in thick fog, and the bright morning lights of the Goody-Goody Omelet House. In the spirit of anticipation of a better year and a happy future. God bless you my dear reader(s).
Does the Hamburgler not realize that if he burgled money he could AFFORD hamburgers among other things?
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Waffle House Hash Browns (I love you)
panda McMunch
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.
Oh Mr. Panda, how endangered you are
at a zoo people come from near and from far
just to see you, and on 9 holes make par
What a symbol you are to your home country
and your diet is made up of skinny bamboo trees
upon which your bear teeth go "munchy munchy"
I hope we don't lose you forever and ever
I'd make a machine and then I'd pull the lever
if it kept you alive, then we'd both feel much better.
I love Panda!
P.S. Happy Birthday Big Sister!
Sunday, December 03, 2006
I Like Those Little Birds, You Know the Ones I'm Talking About
Andre the Christmas Zombie
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.
Hello there! It's just me again, here for my yearly warning regarding André the Christmas Zombie.
André is a zombie who, unlike his other brethren, rejected Halloween in favor of Christmas. If you're curious as to why, I've included this brief excerpt from his 1966 press statement, which he gave while initial reactions were still heated.
I still respect my colleagues' decisions to stay with our appointed holiday but I feel it is in my personal best interest to dissolve my contract with Halloween and work as an independent agent in Christmas.
Why was it in his best interest, might you be asking? Well, though he's never come out and said it, many speculate that he finds it easier to collect and eat human brains in December when his competition is done for the year. This is certainly plausible considering his current classification as a competitor to Santa Clause in the International Holiday Gift Deliverer Registry (IHGDR). The only other second party registered with them in history was William Howard Taft, who was considering the job briefly before before being nominated for the office of U.S. President in 1908 .
André has managed to get licensed for Christmas deliveries in 3 states and the Dominican Republic. I know what your thinking and yes, one of those states is North Carolina (something to do with a loophole in legislation failing to accurately define what qualifies someone as a "jolly elf"). With NC unable to pass new legislation until 2020, we're going to be stuck with André for a while yet.
The good news is, he's been lazy in recent years. For a while in the mid-80s he went head to head with Santa in his licensed states and territories. Of course the whole "Santa want-to-be" thing is just a gimmick that enables him for him to collect brains more easily. At least 64 separate reports have been filed of brain theft in NC houses and on christmas eve over the past 39 years. Most of the sites had little incriminating evidence that André had been there but witness accounts do seem to agree on a low moaning coming from the chimney moments before the attack took place.
DON'T FAIL TO PROTECT YOUR FAMILY! It is widely believed that André hates the smell of Greek food and photos of Rosie O'Donnel. It is well worth the effort to prepare a Greek feast in your home on Christmas eve and display glossy prints of Rosie at every family members' bedside.
Bacon bacon bacon bacon WHERE!?
Friday, December 01, 2006
Red Fish, Blue Fish
I have the distinct privilege to have been genetically blighted with a bad lower back. It causes a sharp pain to shoot through my hips and down one of my legs, virtually immobilizing me at times. As such, even the slightest movements, I notice.
I woke up this morning on my standard issue dorm bed and as usual, noticed the loud squeaking of the springs underneath my weight. Lately I've really paid attention to the reality of my body as a hunk of muscle and organ. I mean - it really is just a casing. I know I sound like I'm pushing some basic truth in order to feign philosophical enlightenment but seriously, if you believe it how often do you think about it? There I was, lying on the bed, listening to the weight of my soul's current container cause annoying screeching sounds from a value mattress. I don't know - it was a moment.
We Christians should always make it a point to be aware of how fake this world is. It's all an illusion. As a wise man [sic] once put it, we aren't made of "this crude matter." Who knows what it's like to be free of the skin and bones and thus the gravity that holds us down, makes our joints hurt and our furniture creak? I, for one, can't wait to find out.
God bless
I woke up this morning on my standard issue dorm bed and as usual, noticed the loud squeaking of the springs underneath my weight. Lately I've really paid attention to the reality of my body as a hunk of muscle and organ. I mean - it really is just a casing. I know I sound like I'm pushing some basic truth in order to feign philosophical enlightenment but seriously, if you believe it how often do you think about it? There I was, lying on the bed, listening to the weight of my soul's current container cause annoying screeching sounds from a value mattress. I don't know - it was a moment.
We Christians should always make it a point to be aware of how fake this world is. It's all an illusion. As a wise man [sic] once put it, we aren't made of "this crude matter." Who knows what it's like to be free of the skin and bones and thus the gravity that holds us down, makes our joints hurt and our furniture creak? I, for one, can't wait to find out.
God bless
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Hand Dipped Goodness
Today I had one last assignment due for my screenwriting class. I had to write 10 loglines for movie concepts. Loglines are about 2-3 sentences and "sum up" the premise of the movie. I wrote all of these in less than 25 minutes (procrastiNATE)
let me know if there are any you want to see!
A drama about Daniel, who lost his wife in a car crash, and wants to show others the dangers of driving by putting wreaths at random points next to the road. His wreaths evoke emotions and spark conversation and speculation from people driving by.
A comedy about Jack, a rural magician, who dreams of becoming a big Vegas star. He performs at “The Dusty Bowl” bar and is heckled by Ted, a truck driver. Jack must prove to himself that he’s a worthy magician and pull the biggest trick ever on Ted.
A comedy about Peter, a huge George Lucas fan who quits his lucrative job to go on a global hunt. He and his friend Jesse set out for Tunisia Africa where they’ve heard there are still pieces of a plane prop that was destroyed for Indiana Jones.
A thriller about Jordon, a woman with a keen sense for the paranormal who wants to prove to the world that ghosts exist. When an evil scientist shows her a machine that gives ghosts the ability to re-exist physically, she has to escape a haunted battlefield.
A drama about Lindsay, a drug addicted trapeze artist. She falls in love with Daniel, a visiting lion tamer and things look up for her. When Daniel leaves, however, her manager presses her harder than ever and she finds it a struggle to control her life.
A kid’s drama about Cameron, a biologist who is in love with pandas and discovers an isolated group of the endangered animals living wild in north-eastern India. She goes to protect them but gets lost and a family of Pandas finds her and protects her.
A comedy about Stan, a CIA agent who resigns because he hates having to sneak around. He goes to New York and joins a traveling Hip-Hop Dance team. Once they’re on the road, however, he discover the team leader Dameon’s intent to overthrow America.
A musical about Joey, a kid who has to make his way through food group land. On his way the evil candy king trys to stray Joey from the path and make him sick.
A drama about Rex, a truck driver/pirate in the mid-west. Ted is captain of his truck and he and his crew make a living commandeering other trucks on the lonely deserted highways, but now Rex must deal with a mutiny led by his own first mate, Bruce.
A comedy about Cynthia, a plastic surgeon who is known as the best in her field. When she botches up the face of a prominent communist leader, however, she inadvertently starts a war. She has to make things right by foiling the communist’s plans.
Deer Flavored Cream Cheese Anyone?
let me know if there are any you want to see!
A drama about Daniel, who lost his wife in a car crash, and wants to show others the dangers of driving by putting wreaths at random points next to the road. His wreaths evoke emotions and spark conversation and speculation from people driving by.
A comedy about Jack, a rural magician, who dreams of becoming a big Vegas star. He performs at “The Dusty Bowl” bar and is heckled by Ted, a truck driver. Jack must prove to himself that he’s a worthy magician and pull the biggest trick ever on Ted.
A comedy about Peter, a huge George Lucas fan who quits his lucrative job to go on a global hunt. He and his friend Jesse set out for Tunisia Africa where they’ve heard there are still pieces of a plane prop that was destroyed for Indiana Jones.
A thriller about Jordon, a woman with a keen sense for the paranormal who wants to prove to the world that ghosts exist. When an evil scientist shows her a machine that gives ghosts the ability to re-exist physically, she has to escape a haunted battlefield.
A drama about Lindsay, a drug addicted trapeze artist. She falls in love with Daniel, a visiting lion tamer and things look up for her. When Daniel leaves, however, her manager presses her harder than ever and she finds it a struggle to control her life.
A kid’s drama about Cameron, a biologist who is in love with pandas and discovers an isolated group of the endangered animals living wild in north-eastern India. She goes to protect them but gets lost and a family of Pandas finds her and protects her.
A comedy about Stan, a CIA agent who resigns because he hates having to sneak around. He goes to New York and joins a traveling Hip-Hop Dance team. Once they’re on the road, however, he discover the team leader Dameon’s intent to overthrow America.
A musical about Joey, a kid who has to make his way through food group land. On his way the evil candy king trys to stray Joey from the path and make him sick.
A drama about Rex, a truck driver/pirate in the mid-west. Ted is captain of his truck and he and his crew make a living commandeering other trucks on the lonely deserted highways, but now Rex must deal with a mutiny led by his own first mate, Bruce.
A comedy about Cynthia, a plastic surgeon who is known as the best in her field. When she botches up the face of a prominent communist leader, however, she inadvertently starts a war. She has to make things right by foiling the communist’s plans.
Deer Flavored Cream Cheese Anyone?
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Cop Killer, Rap Artist, Go Kill Something
Ahh another overcast day!
Not much to report today BUT just in case you all are wondering I have a Kevin Bacon Raiting of only 3 degrees.
I was in my life with my father
My father was an extra in Billy Bathgate with Dustin Hoffman
Dustin Hoffman was in Sleepers with...oh yes...Kevin Bacon.
I'm going to go to CCF.
So...how about some fresh cut dasies?
Not much to report today BUT just in case you all are wondering I have a Kevin Bacon Raiting of only 3 degrees.
I was in my life with my father
My father was an extra in Billy Bathgate with Dustin Hoffman
Dustin Hoffman was in Sleepers with...oh yes...Kevin Bacon.
I'm going to go to CCF.
So...how about some fresh cut dasies?
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Gobble
The new bond film, Casino Royale, was absolutly fantastic. Ok, it wasn't life-alteringly good, but it was the first bond movie I've seen advertised that I actually wanted to see. It wasn't corny. It goes back to the beginnings of Bond and delivers a cool story. If you're struggling with the decision of what to see this weekend and you like good action movies, you should check it out.
aaaaaaand thats all.
aaaaaaand thats all.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Every day is like a pill...
Lance Responds
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.
Before you read this post, please be sure to read this one. Otherwise it loses effect.
Today I heard back from Lance, Inc.'s Consumer Affairs Coordinator, Phil O. Brooks. I'll just copy the letter for you guys below:
Dear Ms. Sloan:
Please accept our apologies for your experience with Lance Cream Cheese with Chives on Captain's Wafers that was missing the filling. We are most concerned to have this report.
This product is manufactured in accordance with the highest quality standards. Please be assured that this information has been forwarded to the responsible individuals for corrective action.
Again, we apologize for any inconvenience to you. We are enclosing coupons for your use. We hope you will continue to have faith in our organization and purchase our products as you have in the past. We do appreciate your business.
Ok, there are three verdicts I could drop here (keep in mind, this is a real issue, I didn't make this up for the sake of it). They:
1)Hate Democracy
2)Think Democracy is "OK"
3)Love Democracy and America
The letter was nice and the compensation in coupons was MORE than nice, so I would give them "Love Democracy and America," sadly, Phil made one crucial mistake. Did anyone else catch it?
Ms. Sloan???
For that I must demote their status to "Thinks Democracy is 'OK'"
It's a tough world out there, but at the end of the day, Lance is a darn fine snack company. Do you have Lance in your pants?
Does anyone else smell shellfish?
Monday, November 13, 2006
Laptops is Hot
Paper...or plastic?
Whatever happened to the good old days of paper? I hate it when things just change on you without fair input ... and this is a prime example. I remember when going to the grocery store meant I got to play with a lot of really pretty paper bags when mom got home (this was when I was a child). That's when some schmuck at the top of the grocery biz discovered that plastic bags saved a lot of money. AT WHAT PRICE? Then there was that period of time where they would ask you which one you wanted so you felt like they gave equal support to both. So deceptive, they were just phasing the paper out and trying to do it without causing an instant outcry! Sure, some stores still offer paper, but it's just a gesture. The sweet paper lovin' that used to be given so freely is now either carried only by customer demand or it's simply denied us.
I know the grocery stores are like us, they can see a good thing when it's right in front of their face! I mean, it has a sturdy feel; it has a much nicer surface for printing your image on, open your eyes grocery stores! Paper was good and you dropped it to save a buck!? I can't believe such a brazen sacrifice of something of true quality for some strange corporate gain.
You know, I can't blame it on the stores entirely though. There is always the outside pressure. Big business America, what with it's single napkin dispenser and it's public restroom hand dryers was right there, urging the grocery stores to cave. GROCERY STORE, COME ON! Just because the businesses around you cave to pressures doesn't mean that you have to! You could have been the diamond in the commercial rough, offering quality "complimentary item" to your customers, but no. You didn't.
I wish I could say I'd never shop with you again for this disgrace...but everyone needs their groceries...
Gao Gao is my panda name...
Whatever happened to the good old days of paper? I hate it when things just change on you without fair input ... and this is a prime example. I remember when going to the grocery store meant I got to play with a lot of really pretty paper bags when mom got home (this was when I was a child). That's when some schmuck at the top of the grocery biz discovered that plastic bags saved a lot of money. AT WHAT PRICE? Then there was that period of time where they would ask you which one you wanted so you felt like they gave equal support to both. So deceptive, they were just phasing the paper out and trying to do it without causing an instant outcry! Sure, some stores still offer paper, but it's just a gesture. The sweet paper lovin' that used to be given so freely is now either carried only by customer demand or it's simply denied us.
I know the grocery stores are like us, they can see a good thing when it's right in front of their face! I mean, it has a sturdy feel; it has a much nicer surface for printing your image on, open your eyes grocery stores! Paper was good and you dropped it to save a buck!? I can't believe such a brazen sacrifice of something of true quality for some strange corporate gain.
You know, I can't blame it on the stores entirely though. There is always the outside pressure. Big business America, what with it's single napkin dispenser and it's public restroom hand dryers was right there, urging the grocery stores to cave. GROCERY STORE, COME ON! Just because the businesses around you cave to pressures doesn't mean that you have to! You could have been the diamond in the commercial rough, offering quality "complimentary item" to your customers, but no. You didn't.
I wish I could say I'd never shop with you again for this disgrace...but everyone needs their groceries...
Gao Gao is my panda name...
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Keep Your Head Down!
I usually write pretty random useless stuff in this blog but what I'm about to write is going to serve a purpose. I want to remember what happened yesterday in detail for future reference.
My sister and I were shopping in Best Buy yesterday when a gun was pulled, a shot was fired, and chaos broke out.
Melissa came down to visit me for the weekend because she had a, thing... that she had to go to and needed a place to stay. Well, she stayed last night just to keep me company I guess. In any case we were trying to think of something to do around 3:00 when we decided to go to Best Buy and grab a season of "Ghost Hunters" on DVD. If you've never heard of that TV show I highly suggest you click the link and check it out. They usually don't find anything but when they do, it's creepy, and you get some good stories regardless.
So we know that Best Buy is going to be the only store in town that would carry a relatively obscure Sci-Fi original series like that. Once we're there I convince her that she needs to go back to the back and check out the little TV sets since she might want one for Christmas. She goes back with me. We're looking at some nice HD LCD sets in the satellite TV section when we hear a commotion up towards the front of the store (this is waaay in the back). It gets quiet and I hear a loud bang. Looking over the shelves (thanks to my height), I see smoke rising up. There is a moment...maybe three seconds...where nothing happens except some yelling at the front. Someone yells "Get down," then all heck breaks loose. It takes a while for it to hit me that someone has a gun at the front of the store and that it's probably a robbery. I move slightly forward against the river of people scrambling towards the back of the store. I hear Melissa freaking out (just a little) behind me. I knew our best bet was to get as far away from guy with gun at front, since if it was a robbery; the money was at the front. We had to walk towards the front to get out of the TVs, then around them to go back towards the back. Melissa stopped to put Ghost Hunters down and told me to wait up. I grabbed her hand and started moving. It was crazy, just like in a movie; people were huddling over their children, jumping into shelves, and running and screaming. All I said was "It's going to be ok" as I led Melissa through the back isle until we came to the storeroom. Several associates had just opened the storeroom and were letting people out the back. We booked it to the sidewalk.
Once outside we waited for a while as several police cars streamed by. It was only about 5 minutes later that we got word that the guy was arrested. As far as we know (according to an associate) he was trying to steal 2 cds and got caught. When the doormen tried to take him into a holding room he pulled a gun. One of the Best Buy guys grabbed his arm and pushed it down as he pulled the trigger. They held him and the police got him. Hooray for Best Buy!!
All I could think about on the sidewalk after we knew we were safe was "I wonder if circuit city has Ghost Hunters." Melissa loves giving me a hard time about that. We did go to Circuit City, they didn't have it, and then we came back to the apartment. The store was open later, though, and we tempted fate again around 6:00. Needless to say, we watched some Ghost Hunters that night.
You see this kind of stuff happen on TV all the time and you never think it will happen to you. Well, I guess it can. Stay safe you guys and don't freak out if something does happen, you reduce your chances of survival!
update! Looks like the rumor mill got a couple of details wrong, but the people being interviewed here were at the same place we were. He is the official report...
Gunshot fired at Best Buy; teen charged with robbery | StarNewsOnline.com | Star-News | Wilmington, NC
My sister and I were shopping in Best Buy yesterday when a gun was pulled, a shot was fired, and chaos broke out.
Melissa came down to visit me for the weekend because she had a, thing... that she had to go to and needed a place to stay. Well, she stayed last night just to keep me company I guess. In any case we were trying to think of something to do around 3:00 when we decided to go to Best Buy and grab a season of "Ghost Hunters" on DVD. If you've never heard of that TV show I highly suggest you click the link and check it out. They usually don't find anything but when they do, it's creepy, and you get some good stories regardless.
So we know that Best Buy is going to be the only store in town that would carry a relatively obscure Sci-Fi original series like that. Once we're there I convince her that she needs to go back to the back and check out the little TV sets since she might want one for Christmas. She goes back with me. We're looking at some nice HD LCD sets in the satellite TV section when we hear a commotion up towards the front of the store (this is waaay in the back). It gets quiet and I hear a loud bang. Looking over the shelves (thanks to my height), I see smoke rising up. There is a moment...maybe three seconds...where nothing happens except some yelling at the front. Someone yells "Get down," then all heck breaks loose. It takes a while for it to hit me that someone has a gun at the front of the store and that it's probably a robbery. I move slightly forward against the river of people scrambling towards the back of the store. I hear Melissa freaking out (just a little) behind me. I knew our best bet was to get as far away from guy with gun at front, since if it was a robbery; the money was at the front. We had to walk towards the front to get out of the TVs, then around them to go back towards the back. Melissa stopped to put Ghost Hunters down and told me to wait up. I grabbed her hand and started moving. It was crazy, just like in a movie; people were huddling over their children, jumping into shelves, and running and screaming. All I said was "It's going to be ok" as I led Melissa through the back isle until we came to the storeroom. Several associates had just opened the storeroom and were letting people out the back. We booked it to the sidewalk.
Once outside we waited for a while as several police cars streamed by. It was only about 5 minutes later that we got word that the guy was arrested. As far as we know (according to an associate) he was trying to steal 2 cds and got caught. When the doormen tried to take him into a holding room he pulled a gun. One of the Best Buy guys grabbed his arm and pushed it down as he pulled the trigger. They held him and the police got him. Hooray for Best Buy!!
All I could think about on the sidewalk after we knew we were safe was "I wonder if circuit city has Ghost Hunters." Melissa loves giving me a hard time about that. We did go to Circuit City, they didn't have it, and then we came back to the apartment. The store was open later, though, and we tempted fate again around 6:00. Needless to say, we watched some Ghost Hunters that night.
You see this kind of stuff happen on TV all the time and you never think it will happen to you. Well, I guess it can. Stay safe you guys and don't freak out if something does happen, you reduce your chances of survival!
update! Looks like the rumor mill got a couple of details wrong, but the people being interviewed here were at the same place we were. He is the official report...
Gunshot fired at Best Buy; teen charged with robbery | StarNewsOnline.com | Star-News | Wilmington, NC
Monday, November 06, 2006
Purple Cabbage Never Hurt Nobody
SWEEEEEET!
I can't believe it, for once in my life I register for classes and come out with one of the most AMAZING schedules EVER.
Keep in mind that I'm only taking 15 hours next semester and not 18 like I have for the past two.
Here is what it looks like.
Essay Writing on MW
Business Writing on MWF
Japanese Cinema on MW
Art of the Camera on Tuesday
and Variations on the 1 minute film on Tuesday
If you payed close attention you may have noticed that I have NO CLASSES on thursday and one class on friday and it's only from 12:00 to 12:50. NIIIIIICE. I'm so excited. Now I just have to figure out to do with my nearly four day weekends!
Ciao!
I can't believe it, for once in my life I register for classes and come out with one of the most AMAZING schedules EVER.
Keep in mind that I'm only taking 15 hours next semester and not 18 like I have for the past two.
Here is what it looks like.
Essay Writing on MW
Business Writing on MWF
Japanese Cinema on MW
Art of the Camera on Tuesday
and Variations on the 1 minute film on Tuesday
If you payed close attention you may have noticed that I have NO CLASSES on thursday and one class on friday and it's only from 12:00 to 12:50. NIIIIIICE. I'm so excited. Now I just have to figure out to do with my nearly four day weekends!
Ciao!
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Hat of a Drop
AMEEEEEEERICA!
In celebration of our great democracy (and to test it) I've decided to send a little letter and let you fine folks follow it on its epic journey. The letter is a claim, or complaint letter, which will find it's way into the box of one LANCE CONSUMER AFFAIRS devision. I wrote the letter for my Intro. to Technical Writing class, got an A- on it, and now it's going to the big boys. Here is a copy of the letter in full:
Nathaniel Sloan
401 Maple Ave.
Four Oaks, NC 27524
September 27, 2006
Lance Consumer Affairs
P.O. Box 32368
Charlotte, NC 28232
To the Director of Lance Consumer Affairs:
I am writing with concern for a problem I discovered in one of your Home Packs of sandwich crackers. I’d like to begin by saying that I have been a loyal customer of Lance for years and have always been satisfied with the quality of your product.
In July of this year, I was given a Home Pack of Captain’s Wafers with Cream Cheese & Chives. As you are aware, each Home Pack comes with eight individually wrapped six-packs of sandwich crackers. Captain’s Wafers are my favorite of your cracker varieties and your Cream Cheese & Chives filling is delicious. Imagine my disappointment at discovering the first and last sandwich cracker in almost every pack was missing its Cream Cheese and Chives filling.
I realize that the manufacturing process isn’t a perfect one, but I feel some form of compensation is in order for my disappointment. I would also like to know if steps are being taken to ensure that every sandwich cracker in every pack attains the quality goals set forth by your company. Thank you very much for your time.
Sincerely yours,
Nathaniel Sloan
As you can see...I'm not sugar coating anything. I'll let you know what Lance's response is and quite frankly there are only two ways to look at the outcome. If they give me some compensation, we're good. If they don't, democracy is in danger and we all must take action against their neglect.
If you don't own a gun, don't put one in your script.
In celebration of our great democracy (and to test it) I've decided to send a little letter and let you fine folks follow it on its epic journey. The letter is a claim, or complaint letter, which will find it's way into the box of one LANCE CONSUMER AFFAIRS devision. I wrote the letter for my Intro. to Technical Writing class, got an A- on it, and now it's going to the big boys. Here is a copy of the letter in full:
Nathaniel Sloan
401 Maple Ave.
Four Oaks, NC 27524
September 27, 2006
Lance Consumer Affairs
P.O. Box 32368
Charlotte, NC 28232
To the Director of Lance Consumer Affairs:
I am writing with concern for a problem I discovered in one of your Home Packs of sandwich crackers. I’d like to begin by saying that I have been a loyal customer of Lance for years and have always been satisfied with the quality of your product.
In July of this year, I was given a Home Pack of Captain’s Wafers with Cream Cheese & Chives. As you are aware, each Home Pack comes with eight individually wrapped six-packs of sandwich crackers. Captain’s Wafers are my favorite of your cracker varieties and your Cream Cheese & Chives filling is delicious. Imagine my disappointment at discovering the first and last sandwich cracker in almost every pack was missing its Cream Cheese and Chives filling.
I realize that the manufacturing process isn’t a perfect one, but I feel some form of compensation is in order for my disappointment. I would also like to know if steps are being taken to ensure that every sandwich cracker in every pack attains the quality goals set forth by your company. Thank you very much for your time.
Sincerely yours,
Nathaniel Sloan
As you can see...I'm not sugar coating anything. I'll let you know what Lance's response is and quite frankly there are only two ways to look at the outcome. If they give me some compensation, we're good. If they don't, democracy is in danger and we all must take action against their neglect.
If you don't own a gun, don't put one in your script.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
For Softer Crust, Place on Oven Sheet
School bans tag, other chase games - CNN.com
Oh, you knew it was coming.
In the never ending pursuit to make people's lives safer by removing everything in them that makes them worth living, there is another victory. Apparently several school systems across the country have taken the strong arm against one of my favorite things, tag. No, children aren't coating themselves in skunky body spray, I speak of the childhood classic. The game of tag.
Ok, correct me if I'm wrong, but no one made up the game of tag. I think God gave us tag from the beginning, sort of a natural instinct. You let kids go out into an open area and one of them is going to chase another one and instantly everyone knows what's going on. There is never an adult needed to explain the rules, it's just understood.
Let that stand undeniable evidence that tag is a basic, unalienable right of the children of America. Are you surprised that I'm defending it? It's the only sport I was ever any good at! Of course I'm going to defend it! You know what else....IT ISN'T SAFE, and I DON'T CARE. Neither do kids, go ahead and ask them.
I wouldn't feel qualified to make that statement if I didn't feel I had some authority in saying it. I do, however, and that's because I broke my wrist by tripping over a root in a game of tag in the first grade. Snapped it. I cried a bit, had to eat and color with my left hand for a while, then I got over it. My kids will too. I don't want some hyper sensitive school system, so afraid of getting sued, denying my child the privilege of running around and getting hurt. All children should at least have that.
French Onion soup is delicious...
Oh, you knew it was coming.
In the never ending pursuit to make people's lives safer by removing everything in them that makes them worth living, there is another victory. Apparently several school systems across the country have taken the strong arm against one of my favorite things, tag. No, children aren't coating themselves in skunky body spray, I speak of the childhood classic. The game of tag.
Ok, correct me if I'm wrong, but no one made up the game of tag. I think God gave us tag from the beginning, sort of a natural instinct. You let kids go out into an open area and one of them is going to chase another one and instantly everyone knows what's going on. There is never an adult needed to explain the rules, it's just understood.
Let that stand undeniable evidence that tag is a basic, unalienable right of the children of America. Are you surprised that I'm defending it? It's the only sport I was ever any good at! Of course I'm going to defend it! You know what else....IT ISN'T SAFE, and I DON'T CARE. Neither do kids, go ahead and ask them.
I wouldn't feel qualified to make that statement if I didn't feel I had some authority in saying it. I do, however, and that's because I broke my wrist by tripping over a root in a game of tag in the first grade. Snapped it. I cried a bit, had to eat and color with my left hand for a while, then I got over it. My kids will too. I don't want some hyper sensitive school system, so afraid of getting sued, denying my child the privilege of running around and getting hurt. All children should at least have that.
French Onion soup is delicious...
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Stabby Stabby!!
Oh the fun I've had since my last post!
I went rafting on the Nolichuckee (sp) river.
I went on my first roller coaster ride (and on 4 more after it) at Busch Gardens.
I got in touch with my ye olde side at Colonial Williamsburg.
and
I spent fall break at home relaxing and playing with our puppy.
Three weekends and TOO much fun. I'm really glad that I've had such a busy semester. I would be morbidly depressed if I had nothing to do on the weekends. If there is a weekend that comes around that I don't have anything to do for, you better invite me to do something or I may go off the deep end. I'm just kidding!
...but seriously...
So what does one do in the midst of the weekend excitement? Pretty much wait for the semester to end. I want it to get here as soon as possible. A month at home with no job doing NOTHING might drive me slightly crazy, but this is one semester that's been tough enough that I'd like to see it go! I won't take so many classes that require writing ever again. It's impossible to do all the writing I'm supposed to very well, so I end up turning in a bunch of stuff and saying....ehhhh, it's probably a "B," but it's at least a "C." I'm sure you all know how that goes.
In other news I got my Dad's old Nikon camera and brought it back from the house. As soon as I get the time/money I plan on taking some fantastic photography, which I'll put up for your viewing pleasure. If you have facebook and your interested in seeing pictures from my trip, there are plenty up on there. Go to www.facebook.com, search for me, and their on my profile.
I hope everyone has a fantastic day. I love you all adoring reader!
I went rafting on the Nolichuckee (sp) river.
I went on my first roller coaster ride (and on 4 more after it) at Busch Gardens.
I got in touch with my ye olde side at Colonial Williamsburg.
and
I spent fall break at home relaxing and playing with our puppy.
Three weekends and TOO much fun. I'm really glad that I've had such a busy semester. I would be morbidly depressed if I had nothing to do on the weekends. If there is a weekend that comes around that I don't have anything to do for, you better invite me to do something or I may go off the deep end. I'm just kidding!
...but seriously...
So what does one do in the midst of the weekend excitement? Pretty much wait for the semester to end. I want it to get here as soon as possible. A month at home with no job doing NOTHING might drive me slightly crazy, but this is one semester that's been tough enough that I'd like to see it go! I won't take so many classes that require writing ever again. It's impossible to do all the writing I'm supposed to very well, so I end up turning in a bunch of stuff and saying....ehhhh, it's probably a "B," but it's at least a "C." I'm sure you all know how that goes.
In other news I got my Dad's old Nikon camera and brought it back from the house. As soon as I get the time/money I plan on taking some fantastic photography, which I'll put up for your viewing pleasure. If you have facebook and your interested in seeing pictures from my trip, there are plenty up on there. Go to www.facebook.com, search for me, and their on my profile.
I hope everyone has a fantastic day. I love you all adoring reader!
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Ca-ta-ridge-es.
Oh the HUMANITY!
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.
Lowes Foods is racist.
How can you deny it with the evidence right in front of your face. Here we see a classic example, the Lowes Foods "Assorted Cremes." My roommate, Devin (pictured here holding the cookies) is a avid patron of the grocery store that markets and sells these cookies. Some would say these are a delicious treat, but if you don't see the symbolism, you're blind.
In this apparently innocent cookie package we have two flavors. ONLY TWO. There are the light cookies, and the dark cookies. As a side note I'd like to point out that the dark cookies are in an obvious minority to the light ones. That, of course, isn't what gets me all fired up. What's really over the top is the way in which they pack the dark cookies between the white ones. Ok, when you open a bag of cookies, where do you usually pull the first on from? The answer is of course, the side that is most available. THE SIDE, not the middle. The chocolate cookies are not only at a numeric disadvantage, but they are also denied the opportunities for selection that the light ones are.
Why couldn't they mix the cookies together? Would it have killed them? Was it just too much for them?
Segregationist cookie PUNKS.
Now, as a response to that Lowes Food's would probably point out the sister product named "Duplex Cremes." In that product the two halves of cookie are each different colors. That's a good effort, I'll admit, the dark and the light creamed together in harmony, but honestly look at the name. Duplex Creams? Come on, could the rhyme be any more obvious and insulting? They might as well just call them KK Kremes.
I wouldn't stand for this. Boycott Lowes foods until they notice the mistakes they're making and clean up their act.
*To anyone that may read this, please don't misinterpret my tone. I'm so far removed from being racist myself I try to find humor in an effort to reduce it's potency. CHUCKLE!
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
I'm Not Afraid to Kill the Loud Tenant Above Me.
"Heeeeey!" (that looks like what we're saying).
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.
So the image you see with this post is from WWE "UNFORGIVEN" night over at Yam's yesterday. Melissa made the long trek down and I actually got to spend a small amount of time with her. Seeing Yam and several caswelll buddies was lots of fun too.
Of course, that's not what this post is about.
How does one start off a blog entry about something as intricately and subtlety complex as what I'm about to discuss? This is an art that few people are blessed with the ability to appreciate, but if you are, it can cause emotional responses unavailable elsewhere. No, it's not traditional African folk dancing (though the congas will do a number on you). This is the one and only true sport of the thinking man; the art of professional wrestling.
"It's fake Nathan! How can you call a fake sport art? How can you allow your infinitely amazing reputation as an art critic to be sullied by a monumental misnomer like this?"
Oh I hear you, pessimistic masses. For those of you that lob this argument I have but one question to pose. If it's a fake sport, how can it be anything other than art? Lets look at the definition of art.
ART: The quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance.
Have you seen the grace with which these oiled and glistening men execute complex, choreographed stunts? Sometimes these ballets of brutality can stretch for upwards of a half hour. All it takes is one slip in a pool of blood, one misplaced flip off the top rope, one...double helix half-stoaked gainer press slam, that's not on mark, and the whole performance is awry. You really can't knock it until you watch it with a honest critical eye.
Let's not forget the role of the obnoxious, scantily clad female ringside "cheerleader." It's obvious that these characters are put into the production as a satire of the male-dominated culture's twisted perception of the ideal woman. Their statement is higly effective, and it's really gutsy of WWE to go out on a limb by so overtly criticizing the ignorance of their primary demographic. I'm sure many of the first time viewers go home to their wives with a fresh perspective and appreciation for their natural beauty and significance in society.
Lastly, how can anyone turn down something that involves fighting with, you guessed it; tables, ladders, and chairs. I mean...seriously. Just say that to yourself with the thought of ensuing fight in mind. TABLES, LADDERS, AND CHAIRS.
Nice isn't it?
OK, now close your eyes and imagine the deep voice of "movie announcer guy" saying it.
...
Did you feel those chills?
All in all, I think my point is clear. Wrestling is quite possibly America's #1 under-appreciated art. A thick sociopolitical agenda enriches the conciousnesses of the youth and adults alike. The deep, engrossing story line delivers true drama and comedy in a way that stage production or film could never hope to. Lastly there is the pure spectacle. Something about our inner selves is well pleased with the sight of a 300 pound man crashing through two stacked tables off a 16 foot ladder. I don't know what that something is, but it's very happy.
I suggest you all grab your remote and order the next pay-per-view special as soon as possible. You can thank me later.
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Diggin that Hound Bone
Ah! The weeks come a-rollin' by already. I love this constant busy state of living, it makes things seem to move faster. You'd have to be crazy not to take a break every once in a while though. I've found a new way to take a break and I'm going to share it with you.
THE T.V.!
Ok, so maybe it's not new to you, but it is new to me. I never watch TV but now I've fallen in love with the national geographic channel, the history channel, and the discovery channel (including all it's other forms). Is that sad. But there is something else cool you should check out. Try iTunes TV store. You can get free episodes of shows and such at different times. I got the pilot of Psyche for free and now I love that show. If you haven't seen Psyche, you should. It's like a modern Sherlock Holmes with a twist. The guy has strong powers of observation but he pretends to be a psychic. Mucho's funnios.
Ok so yeah...thats about all. I'm going to be heading out to Yam's tonight for the wrestling pay per view. I've never experienced one of those so i'm sure I'll have some amusing observations to tell you later. Take it easy!
THE T.V.!
Ok, so maybe it's not new to you, but it is new to me. I never watch TV but now I've fallen in love with the national geographic channel, the history channel, and the discovery channel (including all it's other forms). Is that sad. But there is something else cool you should check out. Try iTunes TV store. You can get free episodes of shows and such at different times. I got the pilot of Psyche for free and now I love that show. If you haven't seen Psyche, you should. It's like a modern Sherlock Holmes with a twist. The guy has strong powers of observation but he pretends to be a psychic. Mucho's funnios.
Ok so yeah...thats about all. I'm going to be heading out to Yam's tonight for the wrestling pay per view. I've never experienced one of those so i'm sure I'll have some amusing observations to tell you later. Take it easy!
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Yamsters are the New Hamsters
Sneaky Sneaky....
Remember that list I made in my last entry? Well the biggest, most daunting task for the week was really that 4 page review due yesterday so I was looking forward to it being behind me. Turns out my professor is evil and that was REALLY the secret first draft. Now that it's been work shopped I have to turn in another tomorrow. I don't' know why I'm telling you this as if it's interesting, maybe I'm just hoping it'll get the creative juices flowing.
I want my own old world style sailing ship. Yes, like a pirate ship, but I wouldn't sail the skull and cross bones. I wonder if there is anywhere in the world that still builds those ships. If I could find one I wouldn't mind paying the 4 or 5 million it would cost to build it as long as it was big enough to make my permanent residence. Think about how sweet that would be. You wouldn't actually live on land you'd just sail from port to port and do your thing. I think that would be relatively awesome. I'd also want cannons, though I'm sure the government would spoil that fun. I'd always refer to her as "she" and when on deck everyone would have to call me cap'n. Hm, I don't know what I'd name her though. Maybe you guys can help me. If anyone still reads this, post a comment on what my ships name should be.
My finger got caught in the little hole in the seat belt clip as I was taking mine off yesterday. It hurt.
Remember that list I made in my last entry? Well the biggest, most daunting task for the week was really that 4 page review due yesterday so I was looking forward to it being behind me. Turns out my professor is evil and that was REALLY the secret first draft. Now that it's been work shopped I have to turn in another tomorrow. I don't' know why I'm telling you this as if it's interesting, maybe I'm just hoping it'll get the creative juices flowing.
I want my own old world style sailing ship. Yes, like a pirate ship, but I wouldn't sail the skull and cross bones. I wonder if there is anywhere in the world that still builds those ships. If I could find one I wouldn't mind paying the 4 or 5 million it would cost to build it as long as it was big enough to make my permanent residence. Think about how sweet that would be. You wouldn't actually live on land you'd just sail from port to port and do your thing. I think that would be relatively awesome. I'd also want cannons, though I'm sure the government would spoil that fun. I'd always refer to her as "she" and when on deck everyone would have to call me cap'n. Hm, I don't know what I'd name her though. Maybe you guys can help me. If anyone still reads this, post a comment on what my ships name should be.
My finger got caught in the little hole in the seat belt clip as I was taking mine off yesterday. It hurt.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
A Boyd in the Hand
So...Tired...
This semester is going to drive me BATTY. In addition to some supercurricular stresses, I have WAY TOO MUCH crud to do. If you don't believe me how about we look at my week ahead:
Friday: Quiz in Theory and Practice of Editing (English class)
Over weekend and into next week: Read Euripides' Medea for Theater (quiz Monday); Editing online homework (by Monday); write a logline, outline, and plot summary IN ADDITION TO adapting a short story for film in screenwriting (due Thursday); Monkey load of reading and must write a Resume, Coversheet, and follow up letter for Technical writing; 4 page review of Bonnie and Clyde, 500 word journal entry AND monkey load of reading in Writing about Film (all due Monday, journal on wednesday as well); Monkey load of reading for History of Documentary (by Tuesday).
In addition I have a Flim club meeting Saturday at 10AM, Glen's Small Group Monday at 4, CCF large group to attend Tuesday night, Film Club main meeting Wednesday night, Film Magazine meeting to lead Thursday, CCF guys small group to lead right afterwards on Thursday, Hair to pull out next Friday!!!
(somewhere in there Caswell folks are getting together to hang out too...)
Don't think this means I don't have time for you. I do. I need you to keep me sane.
This semester is going to drive me BATTY. In addition to some supercurricular stresses, I have WAY TOO MUCH crud to do. If you don't believe me how about we look at my week ahead:
Friday: Quiz in Theory and Practice of Editing (English class)
Over weekend and into next week: Read Euripides' Medea for Theater (quiz Monday); Editing online homework (by Monday); write a logline, outline, and plot summary IN ADDITION TO adapting a short story for film in screenwriting (due Thursday); Monkey load of reading and must write a Resume, Coversheet, and follow up letter for Technical writing; 4 page review of Bonnie and Clyde, 500 word journal entry AND monkey load of reading in Writing about Film (all due Monday, journal on wednesday as well); Monkey load of reading for History of Documentary (by Tuesday).
In addition I have a Flim club meeting Saturday at 10AM, Glen's Small Group Monday at 4, CCF large group to attend Tuesday night, Film Club main meeting Wednesday night, Film Magazine meeting to lead Thursday, CCF guys small group to lead right afterwards on Thursday, Hair to pull out next Friday!!!
(somewhere in there Caswell folks are getting together to hang out too...)
Don't think this means I don't have time for you. I do. I need you to keep me sane.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Put on Your Happy Helmet
Long weekend?
Not very much to repot, sorry. I spent the weekend away doing several different things, the most notable of which was probably my visit to David and Stephen's apartment in Raleigh. They have a very nice place and a couch that is pretty dag on comfortable. For that fact alone their apartment gets a hearty 8 on the crash-comfortOmeter.
The rest of the weekend was spent at my house, mostly. It was very good to see everyone there all as well. I'm lucky to have a family that always at least acts as if they're glad to see me. They make me feel loved.
For the trip back to Wilmington I packed up my plastic DVD rack that was store at my dad's office. It wasn't a bad deal at first but about 5 minutes into my trip on I-40 I started hearing the horrible squeaking noise. Not like a "my car has some minor defect" squeaking, it was like two styrofoam Sumo wrestlers constantly fumbling for control of my cargo area. I didn't want to stop so I just listened to my radio with squeaky accompaniment.
Do hamsters have hamstrings?
Not very much to repot, sorry. I spent the weekend away doing several different things, the most notable of which was probably my visit to David and Stephen's apartment in Raleigh. They have a very nice place and a couch that is pretty dag on comfortable. For that fact alone their apartment gets a hearty 8 on the crash-comfortOmeter.
The rest of the weekend was spent at my house, mostly. It was very good to see everyone there all as well. I'm lucky to have a family that always at least acts as if they're glad to see me. They make me feel loved.
For the trip back to Wilmington I packed up my plastic DVD rack that was store at my dad's office. It wasn't a bad deal at first but about 5 minutes into my trip on I-40 I started hearing the horrible squeaking noise. Not like a "my car has some minor defect" squeaking, it was like two styrofoam Sumo wrestlers constantly fumbling for control of my cargo area. I didn't want to stop so I just listened to my radio with squeaky accompaniment.
Do hamsters have hamstrings?
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Harrison Ave.
Rainy days
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.
In case you're wondering, that is a photo of me completely saturated in Ernesto droppings. I spent the entire day in the building (save the 45 minutes just before this picture was taken that I spent walking to a class that was, as it turns out, canceled) and it's been pretty bummer-rific. We're you're left in a room all alone you pretty much have nothing to fall back on but naps, reading, homework, and thinking. I tried napping, it didn't work out for me. I picked up some Oswald chambers for a good read and got all my homework done. Of the four I'd certainly say thinking had to occupy the most of my time. That's about all I have to report. If you are curious as to what my day was like, just take a second glance at the photo. I think it sums things up pretty well.
Nah, Ernesto isn't all that bad, I'm just havin' fun and such. It's not often you get drenched by a former hurricane and live to get your picture taken right after, is it? Ok, yeah, I guess most everyone does. The long weekend ahead is going to be even longer than expected. See you in hyperspace again soon!
Am I the only one that bleeds when I floss? I don't like flossing.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Dangle with Care
We've all heard "them" say that writing is therapeutic so HERE GOES! You ready for this?
Actually I feel really bad for addressing that question to a "you." It's probably a great mistake to assume that anyone still checks on this page now that I've fallen off that face of the Earth. Well, I started this little page without an audience and pretended I had one so I guess I can work that way again.
About that whole falling off the face of the earth thing. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I'm sure you all have gone through periods in your life where you just don't feel like working on things any more. I went through one of those with my blog. I have had a lot of fun with this little page and I can't believe I let it fall into such a state of disrepair. There is only one way I suppose I can make up for it.
THE NATHAN'S WILMINGSLOAN BLOGSTRAVAGANZA!
What is that you may be thinking to yourself? Well it's simple of course. I'll put it in layman's terms.
I list 5 things that UNCW has that I want to blow up with approx. 5 sticks of dino-MITE.
I list 5 woodland creatures that I would snuggle if they wouldn't claw/gnaw me to death in the process.
and I give my unique perspective on deli meats....
HERE WE GO!
1. The fence that blocks the second walkway in front of the new CIS building. BOOM!
2. Our ugly tinker-toy style clock tower (it does grow on you though) BOOM!
3. The guy/girl that doesn't even slow down when I am heading for the crosswalk. BOOM!
4. Kenan Hall, room 121 BOOM!
5. Phillip Johnson BOOM!
1. The little tiny brown birds that can only hop HUG!
2. A fox HUG!
3. A squirrel HUG!
4. Moose HUG!
5. Phillip Johnson HUG!
There are some people in the world that only want one type of deli meat on their sandwich. To those people I say...deli meats were made to work in tandem. You can't have only the turkey or only the salami. You have to make the Turkami happen. Though it sounds like a dangerous natural disaster... it really just creates a wave of delicious flavor in your mouth.
I love you all my loyal...reader!
Actually I feel really bad for addressing that question to a "you." It's probably a great mistake to assume that anyone still checks on this page now that I've fallen off that face of the Earth. Well, I started this little page without an audience and pretended I had one so I guess I can work that way again.
About that whole falling off the face of the earth thing. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I'm sure you all have gone through periods in your life where you just don't feel like working on things any more. I went through one of those with my blog. I have had a lot of fun with this little page and I can't believe I let it fall into such a state of disrepair. There is only one way I suppose I can make up for it.
THE NATHAN'S WILMINGSLOAN BLOGSTRAVAGANZA!
What is that you may be thinking to yourself? Well it's simple of course. I'll put it in layman's terms.
I list 5 things that UNCW has that I want to blow up with approx. 5 sticks of dino-MITE.
I list 5 woodland creatures that I would snuggle if they wouldn't claw/gnaw me to death in the process.
and I give my unique perspective on deli meats....
HERE WE GO!
1. The fence that blocks the second walkway in front of the new CIS building. BOOM!
2. Our ugly tinker-toy style clock tower (it does grow on you though) BOOM!
3. The guy/girl that doesn't even slow down when I am heading for the crosswalk. BOOM!
4. Kenan Hall, room 121 BOOM!
5. Phillip Johnson BOOM!
1. The little tiny brown birds that can only hop HUG!
2. A fox HUG!
3. A squirrel HUG!
4. Moose HUG!
5. Phillip Johnson HUG!
There are some people in the world that only want one type of deli meat on their sandwich. To those people I say...deli meats were made to work in tandem. You can't have only the turkey or only the salami. You have to make the Turkami happen. Though it sounds like a dangerous natural disaster... it really just creates a wave of delicious flavor in your mouth.
I love you all my loyal...reader!
Monday, July 31, 2006
Surely You Jest
You know whats interesting to me? People talk about God in strange ways while we are here on earth. We make these insightful little comments and then go on with the rest of our lives feeling inspired. One of my favorites is "God knows how many grains of sand are on the beach." I remember that one from sunday school as a kid. Ok, ok, I get the point. It's just to let people (especially kids) know that God is all knowing and that we can take comfort in that. Has anyone else ever really thought about it though? Next time someone informs you of God's knowing every grain of said on the beach ask them if thats going to be a real burning question for them to ask him when they get to heaven. Well, lets see, I get to talk to the infinitely powerful creator of the universe in person...I could ask him anything I wanted... "So...yeah...I was wondering. How many hairs are on my head anyway? "
Personally I really can't see that ever coming up. I mean, maybe if you're there long enough it might start to pick your brain (it is eternity after all). Eh, still, probably not.
Personally I really can't see that ever coming up. I mean, maybe if you're there long enough it might start to pick your brain (it is eternity after all). Eh, still, probably not.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Ah! To Be Stabbed in the Face by a Persian Prince!
What-ho nave!
I realize that my posting is now at an all-time low. I'm ok with that because I'm so busy here at caswell. I'm trying very hard to think about something to write about as we speak. The only thing I've been able to come up with is sword fighting. Recently some of the guys here at caswell and I have picked up on the hobby of wooden sword fighting. It sounds and yes, looks, incredibly dorky but don't be too quick to judge. As soon as you take your 4 or 5th swing it will dawn on you, mortal combat with non mortal weaponry is a LOT of fun. I just finished constructing my first wooden shield yesterday. I now have to think of a sicknasty design to paint on it with blue and yellow paint (the background is white). So there you have it.
I also discovered another interesting tid-bit of news from Stephen Jeffcoat. Only female mosquitoes bite. Ok, I knew that...but I didn't know why. Apparently they need blood to be able to lay their eggs. On that note I began to ponder...how many mosquitoes have I fathered? It's really quite disturbing.
Have a SUNSHINY DAY!
P.S. Congrats to Stephen for his new job and David for posting again and giving us something to read!
I realize that my posting is now at an all-time low. I'm ok with that because I'm so busy here at caswell. I'm trying very hard to think about something to write about as we speak. The only thing I've been able to come up with is sword fighting. Recently some of the guys here at caswell and I have picked up on the hobby of wooden sword fighting. It sounds and yes, looks, incredibly dorky but don't be too quick to judge. As soon as you take your 4 or 5th swing it will dawn on you, mortal combat with non mortal weaponry is a LOT of fun. I just finished constructing my first wooden shield yesterday. I now have to think of a sicknasty design to paint on it with blue and yellow paint (the background is white). So there you have it.
I also discovered another interesting tid-bit of news from Stephen Jeffcoat. Only female mosquitoes bite. Ok, I knew that...but I didn't know why. Apparently they need blood to be able to lay their eggs. On that note I began to ponder...how many mosquitoes have I fathered? It's really quite disturbing.
Have a SUNSHINY DAY!
P.S. Congrats to Stephen for his new job and David for posting again and giving us something to read!
Saturday, June 17, 2006
DJ Wonder-mint
Your results:
You are Superman
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz
Thats right....I have x-ray vision!
You are Superman
| You are mild-mannered, good, strong and you love to help others.  |
Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz
Thats right....I have x-ray vision!
Monday, June 05, 2006
Beware the JEzzErBizeR
Ah, the liquid sunshine!
Caswell is turning out to be just fantastic already. Of course every summer is different and I know this one will have some great new surprises. I had fun telling Megan Barbee that there was a headless chained ghoul that drags it's torso out from the forts in search of a housekeeper who's head it should steal. I think she enjoyed that story. Well, it's short I know but I just wanted to put something up. I'll update with more interesting stuff later!
Me cow!
Caswell is turning out to be just fantastic already. Of course every summer is different and I know this one will have some great new surprises. I had fun telling Megan Barbee that there was a headless chained ghoul that drags it's torso out from the forts in search of a housekeeper who's head it should steal. I think she enjoyed that story. Well, it's short I know but I just wanted to put something up. I'll update with more interesting stuff later!
Me cow!
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Lodged in the Back of the Throat
Time well wasted is well spent?
I must admit, it's been a fantastic two weeks of doing nothing (including updating this blog). I've actually been trying to clean up my nasty looking room and yesterday I went for my old toy closet. This closet hasn't been cleaned out in at least 8 years...it's filled with papers and crap that I didn't want to sort through in years past as I "cleaned" my room. Yesterday I decided to go though and dump all the crap out to trash most of it.
What a nostalgia trip! I found my middle school report cards along with notes for games I'd made up in middle school and people that I hadn't heard from since 8th grade. What really freaks me out is that I found several items that I had just recently mentioned in conversation. Pictures of people long forgotten that I had just talked about the day before for the first time in a long time. Yesterday at lunch I couldn't think of the name of the "space team" that came to 5th grade and did a week of work with us. I hadn't thought about them in YEARS. As I cleaned out my closet I found my StarBase activity folder with my completion certificate inside. WHAT THE CRAP. Sometimes I feel like my life is The Truman Show and weird things are planned out like this so that people can watch and laugh. If so, and you are all actors, I just want to let you know that I'm seriously on to you and I don't appreciate the FALSE friendships. I hope your paychecks are big enough to outweigh your conscious! And just so you know, I'm now especially suspicious of Jacob. I see right through your tricks!
I must admit, it's been a fantastic two weeks of doing nothing (including updating this blog). I've actually been trying to clean up my nasty looking room and yesterday I went for my old toy closet. This closet hasn't been cleaned out in at least 8 years...it's filled with papers and crap that I didn't want to sort through in years past as I "cleaned" my room. Yesterday I decided to go though and dump all the crap out to trash most of it.
What a nostalgia trip! I found my middle school report cards along with notes for games I'd made up in middle school and people that I hadn't heard from since 8th grade. What really freaks me out is that I found several items that I had just recently mentioned in conversation. Pictures of people long forgotten that I had just talked about the day before for the first time in a long time. Yesterday at lunch I couldn't think of the name of the "space team" that came to 5th grade and did a week of work with us. I hadn't thought about them in YEARS. As I cleaned out my closet I found my StarBase activity folder with my completion certificate inside. WHAT THE CRAP. Sometimes I feel like my life is The Truman Show and weird things are planned out like this so that people can watch and laugh. If so, and you are all actors, I just want to let you know that I'm seriously on to you and I don't appreciate the FALSE friendships. I hope your paychecks are big enough to outweigh your conscious! And just so you know, I'm now especially suspicious of Jacob. I see right through your tricks!
Saturday, May 13, 2006
One on Juan
The Homefront.
Well, it sure is good to be back. My first day at home I was treated to an afternoon with my sister Elizabeth, my cousin Virginia, my Aunt Elaine, and my Grandma Sloan. It was good to sort through my garbage up at Dad's office and chit-chat with everyone. Afterwards we all went out to eat and my sister Melissa changed the sign on the front of the resturant which read "Chicken Cass role" (don't ask me why they mis-spelled it so badly) to read "Chicken Ass Hole." Upon seeing it my mother and grandmother made her change it back.
Good times indeed.
So it looks like my weeks in Four Oaks before I head out to Caswell will be loner weeks. I'll be on my own at the house for the most part but that should allow for plenty of quiet reflection and wall staring. I'm looking forward to it. If I should stumble upon a subtle truth of life during a trance-like period, I'll be sure to share it with everyone here.
What a rip off. Hamsters aren't EVEN made with ham!
Well, it sure is good to be back. My first day at home I was treated to an afternoon with my sister Elizabeth, my cousin Virginia, my Aunt Elaine, and my Grandma Sloan. It was good to sort through my garbage up at Dad's office and chit-chat with everyone. Afterwards we all went out to eat and my sister Melissa changed the sign on the front of the resturant which read "Chicken Cass role" (don't ask me why they mis-spelled it so badly) to read "Chicken Ass Hole." Upon seeing it my mother and grandmother made her change it back.
Good times indeed.
So it looks like my weeks in Four Oaks before I head out to Caswell will be loner weeks. I'll be on my own at the house for the most part but that should allow for plenty of quiet reflection and wall staring. I'm looking forward to it. If I should stumble upon a subtle truth of life during a trance-like period, I'll be sure to share it with everyone here.
What a rip off. Hamsters aren't EVEN made with ham!
Monday, May 08, 2006
If It Ain't An Avacado, What Is It?
dorm 2
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.
A Salute to Schwartz
It was cold this morning, surprisingly so. Sent myself a very important email, tossed on a jacket, and headed out the door. When I got to the library I printed out 14 beautiful pages that almost stung my hands as I took them to the stapler. Laser printers are hot. A short walk to Morton from the library was my last responsibility. There, in the creative writing office, I sealed the deal by putting the paper in my nonfiction instructors mail box. My last responsibility as a sophomore was over.
Walking back I didn't feel any different, which surprised me. I thought I would be hit with an instant surge of sentimental notions and of fear since these first two years of school have gone by so quickly. I'm halfway to it and the real world isn't going to slow down for me. Rather than fear or sentimentality for the school years themselves I've found myself having sentimental notions about something much more tangible. I'm going to miss my dormitory, Schwartz Hall.
Since the first time I saw it, rain soaked from hurricane weather on August 15, 2004, this big place has been a shelter for me. In room 314 I've done a good bit of growing physically, emotionally and spiritually. Both years my roommates have left me in here all alone for the last few days. Of course it's lonely but it is especially so now that I know I won't be coming back. In recognition of what these first two years in Schwartz Hall has meant to me, I'm going to give a brief salute to Schwartz and it's people. Seven memorable Schwartz moments!
1. Move-in day.
Move in day was misery. As mentioned above it was raining and we had to haul all our stuff through it. I was already nervous as could be but at least I knew I had a couple of days alone before my roommate, who I'd never met before, moved in. Imagine my surprise when I got up to 314 and there was stuff already there! My blonde roommate, a sophomore, came in earlier than he was supposed to, likely to make sure he got what he wanted. Of course I didn't want to get started on the wrong foot, I said nothing. Coming straight from Baptist camp at Caswell and hearing about the crazy people of college I was very nervous. As soon as my parents left he opened the fridge, pulled out a beer, and cracked it open. I don't think I'd ever seen a beer consumed in such close proximity to me before, I almost passed out. That was my introduction to Roach.
2. First day of class.
I thought I was going to soil my pants when I woke up. I made it through though, and many more came!
3. Sick Roach.
A drunken roach comes into our room early in the morning, wakes me up, pukes out the window, and passes out. For more information see the archives here.
4. Robert Sterner Jr.
Though technically not an even, Bob was a wonderful RA. He's been the Wellness floor RA for 3 years now and as I leave this semester he leaves for grad school. If you don't know him you're missing out on a great personality.
5. First Caro-kiss.
Happened in the third floor common room on November 21, 2004 (I think.) In any case it was a little more than a month before we started officially going out. As scandalous as that sounds, you don't want to start dating someone right before a long Christmas break, come on now!
6.Being sick.
When do you bond more with a place than when you're bedridden and forced to stare at it's walls every waking moment for days? I caught a strange virus that kept me out of class for the better part of a week in October of 2004 and more recently, right around exam time fall 2005, I got a bad case of the mono. Glad to be over those but at least I'm coming out with an improved immune system!
7. Living with Devin.
Devin gets a mention because he's been my roommate for the past year. He makes me laugh a lot. Maybe someday he'll be forced to wean himself from the zombifying effects of music, movies and TV. When that happens you'll know what I mean. I kid Devin, I kid!
So there you have it. If I think of any more in the next couple of days I'll add them, it is by far not a definitive list. Schwartz, you've been more than a home to me, you been a good pal!
David Blaine....you failed...but America is still completely creeped out by you. Keep up the good work!
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Ham Biscuit Train
COMING TOMORROW: A POST FOR THE AGES. COME BACK TO WILMINGSLOAN FOR:
A SALUTE TO SCHWARTZ!
AS I PREPARE TO LEAVE THE DORM WHERE SO MUCH CHANGED IN MY LIFE, IT'S TIME TO REFLECT ON IT ALL. DON'T MISS THE THRILLING CONCLUSION!!!!
A SALUTE TO SCHWARTZ!
AS I PREPARE TO LEAVE THE DORM WHERE SO MUCH CHANGED IN MY LIFE, IT'S TIME TO REFLECT ON IT ALL. DON'T MISS THE THRILLING CONCLUSION!!!!
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Her Magic Push Ups
I'm a member of Campus Christian Fellowship but it's recently come to my attention that we aren't the Only CCF thats floating around. Thats right, you all know what I'm talking about. The Cheetah Conservation Fund. I don't know if you have a charity to support yet but why not support the repopulation of viscious man-eating cats? Go knock yourselves out!
EXAMS ARE KILLING ME!
EXAMS ARE KILLING ME!
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Shame on You, The Duke Indeed!
I'm too gullible.
Yesterday at Barnes and Noble I went to the Starbucks and saw some of the prettiest water I've ever seen. It's Fiji brand and it comes in a rectangular bottle with a little tropical scene label on the back so that when you look through the front you see palm fronds and ripples. This water is $2.50 a liter but looking at the beautiful exterior I couldn't resist. After all, this was untainted water from the virgin ecosystem of the islands of Fiji. In our acid rain filled world of Aquafina, Dasani, and Le Blue it's just too hard to resist that claim.
Unfortunately for me I failed to remember that water gets turned into a gas, carried all over the face of the planet, and redeposited wherever. In the case of Fiji brand they actually had the audacity to say on the back of the bottle that "The purest water comes from the purest clouds. Our rainfall is purified by trade winds as it travels thousands of miles across the Pacific Ocean to the islands of Fiji." Oh yeah, that sounds really scientifically accurate. The old "purified by the trade winds" bit. Perhaps I'd be satisfied if they cared to explain, rather than fancifully state how their water is clean. In my head I'm picturing a bunch of creative guys in Fiji filling up pretty bottles barefoot in the creek behind their "processing plant" or as it's more likely referred to, the house.
I wouldn't be so upset but it seems that my $2.50 bottle of water that looked so delicious, was actually the most disgusting water I've ever had. Never, never buy it. You have been warned.
I demand TEN LAYERS in my lasagna and if I count 9 it's going to be your JOB!
Yesterday at Barnes and Noble I went to the Starbucks and saw some of the prettiest water I've ever seen. It's Fiji brand and it comes in a rectangular bottle with a little tropical scene label on the back so that when you look through the front you see palm fronds and ripples. This water is $2.50 a liter but looking at the beautiful exterior I couldn't resist. After all, this was untainted water from the virgin ecosystem of the islands of Fiji. In our acid rain filled world of Aquafina, Dasani, and Le Blue it's just too hard to resist that claim.
Unfortunately for me I failed to remember that water gets turned into a gas, carried all over the face of the planet, and redeposited wherever. In the case of Fiji brand they actually had the audacity to say on the back of the bottle that "The purest water comes from the purest clouds. Our rainfall is purified by trade winds as it travels thousands of miles across the Pacific Ocean to the islands of Fiji." Oh yeah, that sounds really scientifically accurate. The old "purified by the trade winds" bit. Perhaps I'd be satisfied if they cared to explain, rather than fancifully state how their water is clean. In my head I'm picturing a bunch of creative guys in Fiji filling up pretty bottles barefoot in the creek behind their "processing plant" or as it's more likely referred to, the house.
I wouldn't be so upset but it seems that my $2.50 bottle of water that looked so delicious, was actually the most disgusting water I've ever had. Never, never buy it. You have been warned.
I demand TEN LAYERS in my lasagna and if I count 9 it's going to be your JOB!
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Thoughts Formulated While Gnawing on a Cotton Ball
Don't ask...
Ten things I wish I had right now that don't go in a waffle cone:
->1800's banker sideburns
->One of those things on Star Trek that materializes any food you want
->The ability to tell people I punched a shark in the gills to scare it away and not be lying
->Two mahogany framed degrees with my name on them (of any discipline)
->A real functioning light saber
->A pet deer that talked (only to me) about it's favorite literature
->My own forge and blacksmithing studio
->Belt with holsters for candy bars
->3-story tall mechanical Panda with R/C remote
->Frozen yogurt...oh wait..DANG IT!
And all the Hillbillies in the choir stoically raised their pitchforks in respect.
Ten things I wish I had right now that don't go in a waffle cone:
->1800's banker sideburns
->One of those things on Star Trek that materializes any food you want
->The ability to tell people I punched a shark in the gills to scare it away and not be lying
->Two mahogany framed degrees with my name on them (of any discipline)
->A real functioning light saber
->A pet deer that talked (only to me) about it's favorite literature
->My own forge and blacksmithing studio
->Belt with holsters for candy bars
->3-story tall mechanical Panda with R/C remote
->Frozen yogurt...oh wait..DANG IT!
And all the Hillbillies in the choir stoically raised their pitchforks in respect.
Friday, April 21, 2006
Pull the Pin and Let the Metal Ring
Southport trip!
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.
Once again...I have failed my loyal readers by not posting on the correct time spot. It's ok though because I HAVE posted the day after and so now the actual posting shall commence.
You know what? It's about time someone shed light on the anti-social's favorite; the cell phone bluff.
First of all, let me say I'm totally guilty of this. Second of all I'm writing about it because I want to see who else is either guilty, or suspects themselves of having been victim. Ok, so here it is. The Cell Phone Bluff is the (as far as I can tell) the common practice of checking your cell phone strategically in order to avoid awkward passing moments with people you know vaguely. What I mean by this is that when person A spots person B from a distance ( person B is someone who they don't know all that well, but well enough that they should say something to them), person A picks up the cell phone and is like, "Wow, need to look at that clock...yeah...still looking at it. Hmmm. I think I'll reread all my text messages." In doing so Person A avoids having to say anything to them.
People are funny sometimes.
I like giant pandas.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Too Close for Missles, I'm Switching to Guns
It's the Sunday Post on Monday Morning!
The long haul has finally arrived. I'm now stuck with the daunting task of writing an 8 page research paper in one day. That's what I get for putting it off and having several other classes in which my stuff is also due at the exact same time. I feel kind of bad because yesterday I bought my first lotto scratch ticket for a dollar. Though that does disappoint I won $7 so I made $6. I'm thinking I might just stick it to the man and never buy another lotto ticket. That way I have still taken $6 for the state government, and more importantly...those noisy kids and their PUBLIC education. Wait a second...I was publicly educated...oh well.
Yesterday I drove all the way home with on windshield wiper blade half off. This wouldn't have been a big deal but after an hour the flapping against the glass gets to you. I'm not sure I'm completely mentally stable anymore, but whose to say I ever was in the first place.
...Don't touch my ancient Chinese Bronze Bells!
The long haul has finally arrived. I'm now stuck with the daunting task of writing an 8 page research paper in one day. That's what I get for putting it off and having several other classes in which my stuff is also due at the exact same time. I feel kind of bad because yesterday I bought my first lotto scratch ticket for a dollar. Though that does disappoint I won $7 so I made $6. I'm thinking I might just stick it to the man and never buy another lotto ticket. That way I have still taken $6 for the state government, and more importantly...those noisy kids and their PUBLIC education. Wait a second...I was publicly educated...oh well.
Yesterday I drove all the way home with on windshield wiper blade half off. This wouldn't have been a big deal but after an hour the flapping against the glass gets to you. I'm not sure I'm completely mentally stable anymore, but whose to say I ever was in the first place.
...Don't touch my ancient Chinese Bronze Bells!
Thursday, April 13, 2006
My Humble Wigwam
As promised I updated now on a Thursday. I know you didn't think I would, it's ok, I'll forgive you eventually.
So, much has happened since my last post. On Friday I got to see Franz Ferdinand (eh) and my personal favorite, Death Cab for Cutie in concert at Duke. Caroline took me as a part of my birthday present and it was a lot of fun (aside from my inability to navigate unfamiliar urban areas without freaking out). You can find four pictures from the concert in myFlickr photo album. If you haven't exposed yourself to Death Cab yet I highly suggest your doing so.
...
and by that I mean listening to their music, not literally exposing yourself to them. That would just be weird
So yes indeed, I did turn 20 this weekend. Surprisingly I feel as if I'm moving out of the glory years of youth already. I know 80, or even 40 year old Nathan would probably wish he could go back in time and smack the current 20 for being so dumb, but it's just one of those things I guess.
I might as well get the bad news out in the open, I didn't have an especially good birthday this year. I really enjoyed spending Sunday afternoon with my family and with Caroline, (we went to Carabbas for lunch) but when we came home we found a sad sight. Bandit, our Yorkshire terrier of 11 years, was in a pitiful state. It was a very sad night for me already but after Caroline and I headed back for Wilmington he apparently took a turn for the worst. Sad story short, the sweetest and best dog I've ever known passed away late that night. I wouldn't mention the whole event because I don't like sad stuff on my blog, but I felt I needed to because I just enjoyed that dog so much and he deserves some kind of recognition from me. I grew up with Bandit and he was, in many ways, my best friend as a child. As we both got older I neglected him and I'm regretting that now. All of you that have pets you enjoy that are still alive need to go out of your way to treat them well because we don't get that much time with them. Our house just won't be the same without his guardian bark coming from the back of the house. I miss him already.
So, much has happened since my last post. On Friday I got to see Franz Ferdinand (eh) and my personal favorite, Death Cab for Cutie in concert at Duke. Caroline took me as a part of my birthday present and it was a lot of fun (aside from my inability to navigate unfamiliar urban areas without freaking out). You can find four pictures from the concert in myFlickr photo album. If you haven't exposed yourself to Death Cab yet I highly suggest your doing so.
...
and by that I mean listening to their music, not literally exposing yourself to them. That would just be weird
So yes indeed, I did turn 20 this weekend. Surprisingly I feel as if I'm moving out of the glory years of youth already. I know 80, or even 40 year old Nathan would probably wish he could go back in time and smack the current 20 for being so dumb, but it's just one of those things I guess.
I might as well get the bad news out in the open, I didn't have an especially good birthday this year. I really enjoyed spending Sunday afternoon with my family and with Caroline, (we went to Carabbas for lunch) but when we came home we found a sad sight. Bandit, our Yorkshire terrier of 11 years, was in a pitiful state. It was a very sad night for me already but after Caroline and I headed back for Wilmington he apparently took a turn for the worst. Sad story short, the sweetest and best dog I've ever known passed away late that night. I wouldn't mention the whole event because I don't like sad stuff on my blog, but I felt I needed to because I just enjoyed that dog so much and he deserves some kind of recognition from me. I grew up with Bandit and he was, in many ways, my best friend as a child. As we both got older I neglected him and I'm regretting that now. All of you that have pets you enjoy that are still alive need to go out of your way to treat them well because we don't get that much time with them. Our house just won't be the same without his guardian bark coming from the back of the house. I miss him already.
Friday, April 07, 2006
Questionable Irritations
Out of the Blue-ish mists.
Well ladies and gentlemen, I have lots to cover this evening.
First thing's first! I have been SOOOOO busy. This has been, hands down, my busiest semester and I think that has really reflected in the content of this blog. I'm pleased to report however that from henceforth I'm going to re-organize WilmingSloan and bring order to this chaos. Effective (almost) immediately, WilmingSloan will be updated on a bi-weekly basis and at regular times. That's right, Every Sunday and Thursday WilmingSloan WILL be updated. In addition I've decided to at least try to write about interesting things (e.g. not my life) and take you, dear reader, into my whimsical world of off-beatedness. After all, isn't that how this all began in the first place?
Secondly, I support Chef Boyardee in all his endeavors, regardless of what the press has to say about this recent scandal.
Thirdly, (and with notable emphasis) This Sunday will be my 20th birthday and I will officially NOT be young, but rather an un-hip older person still trying to masquerade as one who is still "with it." One day I will look on those words with disgust, most likely on my 41st birthday.
Fourthly...as long as I'm on the Internet kick, I might as well mention that my gimpy Internet counterpart, nathansloan.com, will be updated at some point this month with new reading reviews and hopefully a better-looking interface. From then on the site will be updated PROMPTLY on the first day of every month.
Fifthly, I have yet to mention that I am officially going back to the big Caswell for a fourth summer and I will be reclaiming the position of A/V guy. I'd use the word stoked to express my emotion towards this if I didn't hate that word so very much.
I think that just about covers it. I'm sure there is more that I've left out but I'll return on Sunday to cover that AS WELL AS the Death Cab/Franz Ferdinand concert that Caroline is taking me to tomorrow night and any other interesting birthday festivities. Ciao my Internet friends!
P.S. I'm thinking of starting up titles that actually are relevant to the entries. What do you guys think?
Well ladies and gentlemen, I have lots to cover this evening.
First thing's first! I have been SOOOOO busy. This has been, hands down, my busiest semester and I think that has really reflected in the content of this blog. I'm pleased to report however that from henceforth I'm going to re-organize WilmingSloan and bring order to this chaos. Effective (almost) immediately, WilmingSloan will be updated on a bi-weekly basis and at regular times. That's right, Every Sunday and Thursday WilmingSloan WILL be updated. In addition I've decided to at least try to write about interesting things (e.g. not my life) and take you, dear reader, into my whimsical world of off-beatedness. After all, isn't that how this all began in the first place?
Secondly, I support Chef Boyardee in all his endeavors, regardless of what the press has to say about this recent scandal.
Thirdly, (and with notable emphasis) This Sunday will be my 20th birthday and I will officially NOT be young, but rather an un-hip older person still trying to masquerade as one who is still "with it." One day I will look on those words with disgust, most likely on my 41st birthday.
Fourthly...as long as I'm on the Internet kick, I might as well mention that my gimpy Internet counterpart, nathansloan.com, will be updated at some point this month with new reading reviews and hopefully a better-looking interface. From then on the site will be updated PROMPTLY on the first day of every month.
Fifthly, I have yet to mention that I am officially going back to the big Caswell for a fourth summer and I will be reclaiming the position of A/V guy. I'd use the word stoked to express my emotion towards this if I didn't hate that word so very much.
I think that just about covers it. I'm sure there is more that I've left out but I'll return on Sunday to cover that AS WELL AS the Death Cab/Franz Ferdinand concert that Caroline is taking me to tomorrow night and any other interesting birthday festivities. Ciao my Internet friends!
P.S. I'm thinking of starting up titles that actually are relevant to the entries. What do you guys think?
Friday, March 24, 2006
#3
Rider Backed
He had the joker in his wallet
when they killed him.
The bag was zipped up already,
the last time those eyes looked to the sky
was something like five minutes
ago.
His parents may not yet know the news
I wish I didn't.
A circle of disconnected
officers, smoking their cigarettes
block out the nightmares that come
and go.
His name, Anthony, on his license
tucked in a sleeve
reminds me of a college friend
a magician, who pulled the aces
from the space behind my ears,
and laughed.
I know this isn't him, but again
I see the card
among his loved one's photographs
like a member of the family,
and can't help thinking, maybe?
But no.
What a crazy slip! That was at least
ten years ago.
The kid who's wallet I'm holding
was no peer of mine. The flow of time
and the prank of a joker
fooled me.
He had the joker in his wallet
when they killed him.
The bag was zipped up already,
the last time those eyes looked to the sky
was something like five minutes
ago.
His parents may not yet know the news
I wish I didn't.
A circle of disconnected
officers, smoking their cigarettes
block out the nightmares that come
and go.
His name, Anthony, on his license
tucked in a sleeve
reminds me of a college friend
a magician, who pulled the aces
from the space behind my ears,
and laughed.
I know this isn't him, but again
I see the card
among his loved one's photographs
like a member of the family,
and can't help thinking, maybe?
But no.
What a crazy slip! That was at least
ten years ago.
The kid who's wallet I'm holding
was no peer of mine. The flow of time
and the prank of a joker
fooled me.
Friday, March 17, 2006
He Came From the Basement
I'm the Gorton's Fisherman....
I got up tuesday morning and came close to walking outside only to realize that it was raining when I got to the first floor. Naturally when I realized this I went back up to my room, grabbed my yellow UNCW raincoat and my wallet that I had forgotten, and went back down. I usually wear the raincoat over my book bag (ever since last years smeared and streaky notes incident). Because of this Caroline says I look like a turtle. The people on the first floor said I looked like the Gorton's Fisherman. What did I do? What could I do? I grabbed the handles of my imaginary ship's wheel and struck a pose for them, then walked out.
What is a ship's wheel? It can't be called a ship's wheel, that's too lame. I just can't picture a 17th Century mariner calling out to his captain "AYE CAP'IN! YE NEED TO BE TURNIN' 'E WHEEL A LITTLE TO 'E PORT SIDE!" Somewhere in there the magic of sailing gets lost.
Wag was pretty disgusting that day. There were chicken nuggets...but they weren't really chicken nuggets. At the very least they were meat but I refuse to call them chicken. I had to eat fast to go to class so I kept shoving them down but with every bite I got sicker and sicker. I don't know where I'm going with this but the moral of the story is never eat the nuggets at Wag...or just avoid Wag period.
I found out what a ships wheel is called (I did some research). Apparently it's actually called a wheel. That's a little disappointing but they it says "also called the helm" so that makes me feel a little better. If I actually were the Gorton's fisherman I'd take the helm and frighten the fish stick population into submission within seconds.
Strange...my feet have nostrils...strange and upsetting...
I got up tuesday morning and came close to walking outside only to realize that it was raining when I got to the first floor. Naturally when I realized this I went back up to my room, grabbed my yellow UNCW raincoat and my wallet that I had forgotten, and went back down. I usually wear the raincoat over my book bag (ever since last years smeared and streaky notes incident). Because of this Caroline says I look like a turtle. The people on the first floor said I looked like the Gorton's Fisherman. What did I do? What could I do? I grabbed the handles of my imaginary ship's wheel and struck a pose for them, then walked out.
What is a ship's wheel? It can't be called a ship's wheel, that's too lame. I just can't picture a 17th Century mariner calling out to his captain "AYE CAP'IN! YE NEED TO BE TURNIN' 'E WHEEL A LITTLE TO 'E PORT SIDE!" Somewhere in there the magic of sailing gets lost.
Wag was pretty disgusting that day. There were chicken nuggets...but they weren't really chicken nuggets. At the very least they were meat but I refuse to call them chicken. I had to eat fast to go to class so I kept shoving them down but with every bite I got sicker and sicker. I don't know where I'm going with this but the moral of the story is never eat the nuggets at Wag...or just avoid Wag period.
I found out what a ships wheel is called (I did some research). Apparently it's actually called a wheel. That's a little disappointing but they it says "also called the helm" so that makes me feel a little better. If I actually were the Gorton's fisherman I'd take the helm and frighten the fish stick population into submission within seconds.
Strange...my feet have nostrils...strange and upsetting...
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Just Give me the Burbon Chicken
Ok, so I didn't update for the past two days...but you CAN'T be mad at me. You know why? Because in the past two days I was finally able to open the mind-numbingly awesome nathansloan.com
Ok, it isn't exactly mind numbingly awesome...ok...it's not really awesome at all really...sigh, but it is my new website and from now on there will be a link to it from my blog. Go read and enjoy.
If you still need material to read then head to my DREAM BLOG and read about my latest strange dream.
Don't bat an eyelash...bat a hobo.
Ok, it isn't exactly mind numbingly awesome...ok...it's not really awesome at all really...sigh, but it is my new website and from now on there will be a link to it from my blog. Go read and enjoy.
If you still need material to read then head to my DREAM BLOG and read about my latest strange dream.
Don't bat an eyelash...bat a hobo.
Sunday, March 05, 2006
My Ship Has No Poop Deck
Spring Break in Winter!
Zzzzzz Zzzzzzz....
The great snore down begins! I'm going to be spending the next week (my spring break) trying to keep my eyes open just to look for something to do. Keep YOUR eyes glued to this blog because I'll be updating here day by day this week!
P.S. I'm starting to feel sick and I really don't want to get that way. Please pray for me!
Zzzzzz Zzzzzzz....
The great snore down begins! I'm going to be spending the next week (my spring break) trying to keep my eyes open just to look for something to do. Keep YOUR eyes glued to this blog because I'll be updating here day by day this week!
P.S. I'm starting to feel sick and I really don't want to get that way. Please pray for me!
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Pee My Pants, I'm Coming Back.
There are very few things in this world that I consider remarkably wonderful.
The work of Robert Frost.
Sanitation Laws of the early 20th century.
A freshly opened pack of Bicycle playing cards.
But one thing hit me over the head yesterday and I have to get it out. I love a dag blasted Zero Bar.
From it's deliciously sweetened White chocolate shell to it's oh-so-nutty caramel center I can't find a single thing wrong with it. I got one from the student book store and I think that has been the only item I've ever gotten there that wasn't overpriced and actually made me happy when I looked at it. If Hershey's ever changes the wrapper I'll kill them. Doritos and other brands have had the sad misfortune of being "hippified" by the marketers at their companies but leave the stinkin' Zero bar alone. Come on! I think me and like 3 hobos are the only 4 people left in the world that eat or even notice a Zero bar anymore. Keep that retro 70's logo on the matte silver background and I'll keep coming back for those king sizes.
Until next time, stay classy Wilmington!
The work of Robert Frost.
Sanitation Laws of the early 20th century.
A freshly opened pack of Bicycle playing cards.
But one thing hit me over the head yesterday and I have to get it out. I love a dag blasted Zero Bar.
From it's deliciously sweetened White chocolate shell to it's oh-so-nutty caramel center I can't find a single thing wrong with it. I got one from the student book store and I think that has been the only item I've ever gotten there that wasn't overpriced and actually made me happy when I looked at it. If Hershey's ever changes the wrapper I'll kill them. Doritos and other brands have had the sad misfortune of being "hippified" by the marketers at their companies but leave the stinkin' Zero bar alone. Come on! I think me and like 3 hobos are the only 4 people left in the world that eat or even notice a Zero bar anymore. Keep that retro 70's logo on the matte silver background and I'll keep coming back for those king sizes.
Until next time, stay classy Wilmington!
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Hunky Dorey
The Hummingbird's Journal
Chia 3...
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.
Happy Valentine's day to all!
Above is the Chia that I completed a few weeks back. This picture is old, actually. The bunny has been stripped down to his bare clay at this point but I thought it a friendly gesture to post a photo of him in his hay day for all to see.
!WARNING!: Single girls may be offended by this post.
Aside from the first line of this post I will make no mention of the name of this day for fear of setting off thousands of single females into a tyrannical rampage. I miss the days of single girls openly admitting that they were sad because they had no date for the special day. I think something happened in the late nineties and all of the sudden, single girls were struck with the urge to vehemently attack love's holiday, calling it "singles awareness day" as if it didn't even deserve it's true name. Of course there is a release clause somewhere that states as soon as they get a date, they are to embrace the holiday fully and expect lots of presents.
Who waved their magical wand and made it a girls day anyway? No one feels sorry for the computer nerd guy wheezing in the back corner that's always dreamed of having a girlfriend to take out on Valentines' day but NEVER HAD ONE. Then the first time a popular (never been without a boyfriend) girl goes dateless on the big day she's surrounded by cooing girls calling her a "poor honey." Even school organizations are handing out carnations to every girl that walks by....JUST in case they don't have a guy to give them one. The guys...we get shafted.
and I'm tired of hearing this...
"YEAH! I'm going out with my GIRLS and we're going to PARTY IT UP! WOOOOOOO! We don't NEED a guy to have fun! Let's go girls! NO BOYS ALLOWED!!"
...with all the unnecessary yelling and awkward undertones I have to wonder if the girls spewing these all too common declarations are trying to convince me...or themselves.
Girls, if you don't have a date, don't go out with your friends or "stick it to cupid" or anything like that...come on now. Have some cheetos, watch "The best of friends, vol. 4" in your room and it'll all be over soon. From there you can hope for better luck next year.
~Your affectionate Uncle Sloantape
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Smelly Anderson
This is my update....it is super awesome...you love updates...
I'm sorry there isn't much to say here but I can recommend a few websites for your web-wasting time.
Apple - Switch
Obiwan's UFO-Free Paranormal Page > True Ghost Stories
allmusic
Now go waste some time
(By the way Jeffrey, that whole every day thing was just for last week!)
I'm sorry there isn't much to say here but I can recommend a few websites for your web-wasting time.
Apple - Switch
Obiwan's UFO-Free Paranormal Page > True Ghost Stories
allmusic
Now go waste some time
(By the way Jeffrey, that whole every day thing was just for last week!)
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Not Enough Lemon on the Lemon Chicken
Ah well, I tried anyway!
So I didn't post every day.
And one of my posts was lame and stuff. I'll make up for it...I'll make up for it right here and now by writing a poem about the first nown...first verb...and first two adjectives that pop up on a page when I "I'm feeling lucky" search for "Clap board" on Google. Here goes...
Noun=Clapboard
Verb=using
Adjectives=finest, professional
14 line sonnet...aaaaand GO
The Innocent Clapboard
Clapboard, you with wooden clappers striped on a hinge
always in motion as the sun rises and sets, on film
often you're marking the call that makes the crew twinge
then movement falling hollow on false floors and doors
the world bends to see whatever will happen to them
happily parted, or shot, or loving each other more.
Clapboards never act as though they can't see it coming
mattering not, cut from the shot and thus forgot
by countless spectators worldwide, dazed in chairs
Even the one who snaps it there, using it on the back lot
won't notice the light soaked dreams before him aren't breathing air
what human can, with imagination burning hot?
How professional are we who craft the finest lies
and sell a ticket that, with a spirit, dies?
How's that for trippy? If this poem makes you angry in it's lameness just leave me an angry comment. See Ya!
So I didn't post every day.
And one of my posts was lame and stuff. I'll make up for it...I'll make up for it right here and now by writing a poem about the first nown...first verb...and first two adjectives that pop up on a page when I "I'm feeling lucky" search for "Clap board" on Google. Here goes...
Noun=Clapboard
Verb=using
Adjectives=finest, professional
14 line sonnet...aaaaand GO
The Innocent Clapboard
Clapboard, you with wooden clappers striped on a hinge
always in motion as the sun rises and sets, on film
often you're marking the call that makes the crew twinge
then movement falling hollow on false floors and doors
the world bends to see whatever will happen to them
happily parted, or shot, or loving each other more.
Clapboards never act as though they can't see it coming
mattering not, cut from the shot and thus forgot
by countless spectators worldwide, dazed in chairs
Even the one who snaps it there, using it on the back lot
won't notice the light soaked dreams before him aren't breathing air
what human can, with imagination burning hot?
How professional are we who craft the finest lies
and sell a ticket that, with a spirit, dies?
How's that for trippy? If this poem makes you angry in it's lameness just leave me an angry comment. See Ya!
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Wilson the Wombat Says Hey
You guessed it. This is pretty much filler to say that I have an update for every day. Kind of pathetic isn't it? My next one will be good.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Hamas and Cheese Sandwitch
I said I'd update every day so for today's post...here is a short thingy I wrote for Creative Nonfiction class...enjoy, if you can...
Against the General Implausibility of Old Musicals
I’m a film student and as such I have the privilege of being forcefully exposed to films from every famous filmmaker, in every part of the world and yes, even from every specific genre they both have to offer. Today I had the opportunity in my American Cinema class to sit back and enjoy 1933’s “Footlight Parade.”
Right at the start here I should mention that there is something called suspension of disbelief, the entertainment/realism trade off or something to that degree which is supposed to excuse a reasonably large amount nonsense within a story. I can speak on behalf of it, it’s certainly some good stuff. It makes it possible for audiences to enjoy totally crazy things like space adventures or the bad guys always getting shot just before they pull the trigger, and of course the list goes on. In the case of these musicals, however, I have trouble seeing how anyone forgave them of their blatant mockery of reality.
Given the experience I now have with big budget Hollywood musicals I must come to the conclusion that Americans of the 1920s and 30’s possessed a higher level of this bull malarkey accepting agent. The number of musicals produced during this time period really leaves little doubt of that. Of course I say this must be true because musicals at the time simply didn’t care about any of the rules of general sensibility. Forget realistic, if realism were a monkey they slapped the monkey, filled it’s position with a chicken in monkey suit, then played it off as if the audience would be crazy to think anything of it.
The first attack that someone might vault on these old time musicals is the fact that song happens anywhere, at any time, under any circumstance. I’m not going to go there simply because people who enjoy musicals have a good defense. Once all’s said and done good old escapism, or perhaps a simple desire to be entertained suffice in excusing that. I’d say the problem still doesn’t come in when the farmer in the background or the goofy stage hand starts to randomly dance perfectly in sync with the principle actors. No, that’s not it either. There has to be a line drawn somewhere and I draw it at about the point where the whole town or crew casts aside their pitchforks or their brooms, joins hands, and dance circles around one another.
The real substance of musicals is plain and simple, escapism and I know that. In light of the depression it stands to reason that people needed to escape from reality in any way they could. I don’t feel that the elaborate musical should be cast away from all of filmmaking for all of time, surely it has it’s place, but I’m just remaining hopeful that perhaps it’s time has past. After all, if we don’t need anything to escape into we might be doing ok. As long as 40 some odd dancers aren’t suddenly synchronize swimming in a mysteriously fabricated Olympic swimming pool adorned with golden fountains, I feel a little more confident in the state of the American psyche. Times must be decent when we don’t want to get away that badly.
Against the General Implausibility of Old Musicals
I’m a film student and as such I have the privilege of being forcefully exposed to films from every famous filmmaker, in every part of the world and yes, even from every specific genre they both have to offer. Today I had the opportunity in my American Cinema class to sit back and enjoy 1933’s “Footlight Parade.”
Right at the start here I should mention that there is something called suspension of disbelief, the entertainment/realism trade off or something to that degree which is supposed to excuse a reasonably large amount nonsense within a story. I can speak on behalf of it, it’s certainly some good stuff. It makes it possible for audiences to enjoy totally crazy things like space adventures or the bad guys always getting shot just before they pull the trigger, and of course the list goes on. In the case of these musicals, however, I have trouble seeing how anyone forgave them of their blatant mockery of reality.
Given the experience I now have with big budget Hollywood musicals I must come to the conclusion that Americans of the 1920s and 30’s possessed a higher level of this bull malarkey accepting agent. The number of musicals produced during this time period really leaves little doubt of that. Of course I say this must be true because musicals at the time simply didn’t care about any of the rules of general sensibility. Forget realistic, if realism were a monkey they slapped the monkey, filled it’s position with a chicken in monkey suit, then played it off as if the audience would be crazy to think anything of it.
The first attack that someone might vault on these old time musicals is the fact that song happens anywhere, at any time, under any circumstance. I’m not going to go there simply because people who enjoy musicals have a good defense. Once all’s said and done good old escapism, or perhaps a simple desire to be entertained suffice in excusing that. I’d say the problem still doesn’t come in when the farmer in the background or the goofy stage hand starts to randomly dance perfectly in sync with the principle actors. No, that’s not it either. There has to be a line drawn somewhere and I draw it at about the point where the whole town or crew casts aside their pitchforks or their brooms, joins hands, and dance circles around one another.
The real substance of musicals is plain and simple, escapism and I know that. In light of the depression it stands to reason that people needed to escape from reality in any way they could. I don’t feel that the elaborate musical should be cast away from all of filmmaking for all of time, surely it has it’s place, but I’m just remaining hopeful that perhaps it’s time has past. After all, if we don’t need anything to escape into we might be doing ok. As long as 40 some odd dancers aren’t suddenly synchronize swimming in a mysteriously fabricated Olympic swimming pool adorned with golden fountains, I feel a little more confident in the state of the American psyche. Times must be decent when we don’t want to get away that badly.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Like Aerial Photography for your Brain
Let me tell you guys a little story of how dorky I am.
The other day (friday) I was in hall waiting to audition for a student (actual 16mm) film, when I noticed an old acquaintance from high school was waiting in the hall as well. We eventually started talking along with the producer guy that was waiting out there and magic was brought up when a fourth outsider friend of the guy walked up. It wasn't long before a trusty deck of bicycle cards was out and tricks were being performed. I've always known that Brendon (the guy from high school) was a magician but I hadn't really ever seen any of his stuff in action. Maybe he was really good, maybe I'm just the easily amused type, but I was absolutely amazed at every trick.
He did this one trick where he put a card in my hand and pulled out another card from the deck...then he waved the other card under my hand and he suddenly had the card that I was supposed to have! And what's more...thats right....the other card was in my hand.
WHAT THE CRAP!?!?!?!?
I like magic! Have any of you guys had experiences with magicians? If not you may have an experience with a really bad one in the coming weeks because I'm so curious I must learn magic for myself!
Looks like I'm going to be a random bar go-er! Rock on!
The other day (friday) I was in hall waiting to audition for a student (actual 16mm) film, when I noticed an old acquaintance from high school was waiting in the hall as well. We eventually started talking along with the producer guy that was waiting out there and magic was brought up when a fourth outsider friend of the guy walked up. It wasn't long before a trusty deck of bicycle cards was out and tricks were being performed. I've always known that Brendon (the guy from high school) was a magician but I hadn't really ever seen any of his stuff in action. Maybe he was really good, maybe I'm just the easily amused type, but I was absolutely amazed at every trick.
He did this one trick where he put a card in my hand and pulled out another card from the deck...then he waved the other card under my hand and he suddenly had the card that I was supposed to have! And what's more...thats right....the other card was in my hand.
WHAT THE CRAP!?!?!?!?
I like magic! Have any of you guys had experiences with magicians? If not you may have an experience with a really bad one in the coming weeks because I'm so curious I must learn magic for myself!
Looks like I'm going to be a random bar go-er! Rock on!
Monday, January 30, 2006
Long Sentences and Lots of Adjectives
Too Much Paper
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.
In recognition of my poor updating as of late, I have resolved to update my blog every day this week....so check back EVERY DAY!
As you can tell from the picture above I've been taking advantage of the university’s free newspaper program. I usually just skim through and pick out the interesting articles. You know the funny thing about interesting articles? They're always SPLIT UP!
Clever scheme by the paper company to make you look at ads, no doubt. Come on though, seriously. I was reading something that started on the third page of section B in the Times and it suddenly ended with a note "See 13B." WHAT??? Can this column foolery not be contained to the front page at least? They seriously think they should be able to skip me from the third to the 13th page on a whim? Those arrogant jerks! I won't give them the honor of my reading their opinions on the stock market or "reporting" on the war any more. From now on when the words stop...I STOP.
Unless it's a really good one...DANG IT! THEY WIN, DON'T THEY!?!?!?
For my random end segment, please enjoy a poem I wrote for my class this week in the Anglo-Saxon form:
A lime hates the likeness, it calls for a liar
The old man so chimed, two chaps who have challenged
Heaven could have us as hard as we push them
Level those fields and lift up the lonely
As somewhere to see them drink lemonade slowly
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
White Bread's Not Your Problem Mister
MLK Jr. Day Rider
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.
Into the swing of things.
I feel embarrassed...
YES embarrassed and ashamed that I've fallen to the low of letting my blog go this long without updating, but upon looking at my last few posts I realize that they were all at least partially devoted to my apologizing for not writing. The logical part of my brain tells me that this can't be interesting reading, so I will cease to apologize for not updating now and forevermore. If I don't update for a while, just know I'm sorry and we'll move on to more pressing matters from there.
I'm back in school but short of feeling like I'm knee deep in sweet cow muck there isn't much of interest to repot there either, so let's skip that, shall we?
Today before class I ran across a bin of newspapers. Apparently the school has figured out a way to distribute the Wilmington Star News, USA Today and yes....even the great New York Times to anyone that will have them for free. I took advantage of this by snatching up all three by the newsstand at the door and zipping outside (pretending to be criminally rebellious, of course.)
Hopefully what I'm able to read from them between classes will give me some good material to write about, such as what I found today.
In Oak Park Heights, Minnesota a strange 22 year old convicted sex offender tried his hand and being and idiot and it looks like he pulled it off. I'll spare you the details as to how he became a sex offender, but suffice to say, he was graciously granted parole, which clearly indicated he was not to have unsupervised contact with minors. As it turns out, he somehow decided that making a series of comically ridiculous visits to a high school was in his best interst.
Of course, you can't just walk into a school without some kind of excuse, so he came up with the most plausible and inconspicuous reason possible.
He claimed to be "Caspian James Crichton-Stuart IV," the Fifth Duke of Cleveland and 27th in line for the British throne. During his visits he informed everyone that he was 17, interested in attending the high school, and insisted upon being referred to by everyone (principal included) as "Your Grace"
Surprisingly, the public high school's student newspaper was able to see through the shame that a member of British nobility would want to attend high school in Minnesota. They contacted the British Consulate which informed them there was no such title as the "Duke of Cleveland" the house of cards came crashing down.
It's a good thing he overlooked the details in his title the world may have been fooled. If I were going to make up a title of Nobility mine would be unstoppable.
"Frodo James Hemmingway-Stuart IV, The Fifth Duke of Mayonnaise"
No one would ever be suspicious...
My computer smells like hot melting plastic...hope that extended warranty is still in effect...
Friday, January 06, 2006
We all have fangs, we just grind them down in our sleep..
Little Nathan
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.
Fairwell Four Oaks!
It hardly seems like it's been a month since I got here but dang! It's been a month. I had so many things I planned on getting done while I was away from school and I'm glad now that I didn't list them on this blog, because I did almost none of them. Oh well, that's the way the cheese drizzles I suppose.
The above picture is one I found of me as a young tike of but 1 or 2 years. I just put it up here because I felt the internet needed something outrageously adorable on it for a change. No dout that it does now.
It's been a good break but I can't say that I'm not ready to be back into the thick of edumacation at Wilmington. There are a great many things I miss about being out there and what scares me is that this semester will probably fly by just like the last. I do hope to actually have some sort of film project to show for myself in the next 6 months and plenty of interesting random posts and tidbits about stuff that you could probably live the rest of your life happily without knowing, but why would you? You, loyal reader, you are a shining joy to me.
I love comments. Give me some comments I'll give you some graham crackers.
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