Chia 3...
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.
Happy Valentine's day to all!
Above is the Chia that I completed a few weeks back. This picture is old, actually. The bunny has been stripped down to his bare clay at this point but I thought it a friendly gesture to post a photo of him in his hay day for all to see.
!WARNING!: Single girls may be offended by this post.
Aside from the first line of this post I will make no mention of the name of this day for fear of setting off thousands of single females into a tyrannical rampage. I miss the days of single girls openly admitting that they were sad because they had no date for the special day. I think something happened in the late nineties and all of the sudden, single girls were struck with the urge to vehemently attack love's holiday, calling it "singles awareness day" as if it didn't even deserve it's true name. Of course there is a release clause somewhere that states as soon as they get a date, they are to embrace the holiday fully and expect lots of presents.
Who waved their magical wand and made it a girls day anyway? No one feels sorry for the computer nerd guy wheezing in the back corner that's always dreamed of having a girlfriend to take out on Valentines' day but NEVER HAD ONE. Then the first time a popular (never been without a boyfriend) girl goes dateless on the big day she's surrounded by cooing girls calling her a "poor honey." Even school organizations are handing out carnations to every girl that walks by....JUST in case they don't have a guy to give them one. The guys...we get shafted.
and I'm tired of hearing this...
"YEAH! I'm going out with my GIRLS and we're going to PARTY IT UP! WOOOOOOO! We don't NEED a guy to have fun! Let's go girls! NO BOYS ALLOWED!!"
...with all the unnecessary yelling and awkward undertones I have to wonder if the girls spewing these all too common declarations are trying to convince me...or themselves.
Girls, if you don't have a date, don't go out with your friends or "stick it to cupid" or anything like that...come on now. Have some cheetos, watch "The best of friends, vol. 4" in your room and it'll all be over soon. From there you can hope for better luck next year.
~Your affectionate Uncle Sloantape
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