The Appalachian Trail in Six Bullets or Less

Duck and Cover!!!

Tonight marked the third UNCW basketball game I’ve attended and for the third time we won! This time, narrowly. What interested me more than the game itself, however, were the customs and actions of those people off the court. First you have to understand that the age of "basketball songs" ended at least 13 years ago. All the newer songs are just fad song and will soon vanish from the charts and from your memory. That is until they start selling "era" mixes of it in wal*mart with little push button sample clips in the middle of the isle.
All of the rest of the songs you hear are "We Will Rock You" and "Ready to Rumble" and well, you know the whole list. There are about five every time. There is something else musically related that I noticed too. There are more tone sensitive people in this world than I once thought.
For instance, if a large majority of people were tone deaf then how were the mobbed up guys next to me capable of screaming "OHHHHHHHHHHHH" at the exact same matched pitch every time an opposing player prepared for a free throw? Cursing the refs and opposing players has also adopted a depressingly musical quality.
By far the most enlightening events were the coozie tosses. You know, the foam can cup holders they throw into the crowd during time outs. I honestly believe that I now know more of what it was like to be a civil war solider. While the coozies sail through the air the sweat starts to roll down everyone's faces. I'm thinking "So this is what it's like to be on the back lines in a battle." The cannon ball shoots up and where it lands it leaves total chaos. In it's swath are fallen bodies, screaming voices and a ripple effect, or shock wave, that totally devastates the stands.
The clear difference is that a goofy looking kid with a gym bag is responsible for the projectiles and the people in the crowd actually want to be hit. To me this poses a very genuine question. Why are there people willing to throw themselves on top of other people in order to claim a coozie? How often have you been sitting at home or in the dorm with and ice cold canned beverage and thought, "Darn it! If only I had a coozie!?" I'd give my left leg for a good thick coozie right about now...
...right...
Even still I stood there, looking down three rows and to the left as a crazed coozie victor smiled gleefully, shaking it in his fist above his head.
Perhaps it really is the simple things in life...

...no, see the play is actually about words. Yeah...so the title "Play on wor.....