Then Steve Danced His Way to Freedom

An Open letter to Hottie McCoffee-Pants:

Dear Hottie McCoffee-Pants,

You probably know me as the guy that occasionally comes in and gets a deli sandwich to-go and pays with food dollars on my student ID card. I know I've never asked you for anything aside from an oversized cookie from the baked goods shelf before, but today my request is more personal. All year I have been treated to your unassumingly gorgeous face when I go to get lunch. All year you have been totally unaware of my feelings for you. I would have told you earlier, but one day last fall, you were making a mixed coffee beverage for another customer and you let it slip in conversation with a colleague that you were engaged to be married. I instantly felt that my chances at procuring a date with you were lost. Never again would I enter the coffee shop with the feelings of excitement that I once had. Now I thought all hope was lost.

BUT THAT HAS CHANGED. I had an epiphany! I should just tell you what I have felt so you can just know that I am the one for you. So here it goes.

Hottie McCoffee-Pants, I know you are currently in love with another man to the point that you wouldn't mind spending the rest of your life with him, but is that really what you want? Wouldn't you always wonder if you weren't really supposed to be with that guy that didn't ask for a pickle and rarely bought beverages to go with his sandwiches? In 20 years, what will plague your mind? Will it be thoughts of your job or your kid's futures, or will it be how different your life could be if you'd just dismissed your fiancé with no explanation and gone with me to Carabbas, my treat? I know it sounds crazy but I think I represent something for you. I think I have something to offer - a way out. The chance to keep the ball rolling and start again.

I'm relatively sure you wouldn't regret it. Please let me know.

Respectfully,
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