Total Warp Speed 9!!!

One of my theories

As a disclaimer for this Post...if you are a skater-kid. DO NOT READ...

I saw it happening when I was leaving my high school but now that I've come back to visit since being away at college the problem is all the more evident. Kids (middle-high school aged) dressed up as Skaters and cruising around in groups on skate boards but usually on foot. Black or very dark colors dominate their oversized underconcieved wardrobes and they all sport the same obnoxious hair cuts. Yeah they're being DIFFERENT and INDEPENDENT and ANARCHY YEEEEAH!....yeeeah...just like all the other different independent anarchy kids in school...yeahh...gulp.
PATHETIC!!! Look at yourselves. You aren't fooling anyone. We know you went through an identity crisis about a year ago and found something you thought was "cool" in being with the skater lifestyle. A lifestyle that, interestingly enough, was not created by skaters but by posers and people just like you that don't know quite WHO they are! Hope thats working out well for you kid. Try not to trip on your tent-like pants with your big wide untied flat shoes.
Now your question may be, why are there still so many kids dressed like "sk8ers" out there still today, even after the WHOLE WORLD knows how lame they are? Here is my theory. About 75% of the kids that decided they wanted to be skater kids did it on the tail end of the fad. They helped it burn out into a glorious flaming ball of lameness. They all bugged their parents to take time out of their 9-5 to go to Belk or the CCS catalogue to completely update their wardrobes. Now that this look is obviously stupid enough to make aboriginals laugh at you the kids have nothing left to do but cling to their flawed ideas and hope no one notices, or walk around naked. Current decency laws taken into consideration, they must choose to sulk around in their dumpy Element shirt and HUGE black Independant Truck Company pants. Now that I think about it this way I can't say I really blame them for being SOOOOOO depressed all the time.

oh, and by the way...half-pipe killed my hamster....