COME! The Bubble Wrap Tempts You!!!

I dub thee, Sir Loser of Losington!

I was thinking today about kingdoms and how they aren't that far removed from us. When we think of a King or a Queen and their Kingdom often times we think of the middle-ages. In truth the ages of kingdoms are only a couple of hundred years away from us. Somewhere along the line the dang Americans screwed everything up with their democracy. BAH! I want my own kingdom...and I want it so bad that I'd probably move out to a deserted island just to have one. I think it would be cool. I'd bring a lot of farmers and doctors and people that knew how to make stuff...and probably Bill Gates, he'd help the economy. Then we'd take all of Gate's money and make our own currency. I'd get half...Bill would get 20% and the other 30% would be divided among the townspeople. We'd build stone houses for everyone and I'd have a palace where I'd wear my HUGE "hero" crown when we had big important events and my thin-line crown (not a tiara) whenever I was just chillin' doin' my king thing. There would be free healthcare. We'd develop something really cool that you could only get from our Island and then make good money off trade. Hmm....better put Bill to work on that. Then there would be free education and it would be GOOD education. Except there is no higher level math required after Algebra 1. UNLESS...you really want the other stuff. Lastly I'd have a 500 man army and they're be totally BA. They'd be trained in hand-to-hand by asians but they'd watch lots of westerns and learn how to be completely cowboy with their guns. In addition they'd all be wearing bullet proof armor and they'd carry 3 foot long titanium swords just in case they ran out of bullets. My face would be somewhere on the handle as well as the "Phrase of the Kingdom" which would be "Til the BLOODY END!!!" because that sounds real hardcore. And you KNOW that the US would be all trying to take over my awesome kingdom so we'd have to be hardcore. But its no biggie because Bill would probably make an energy shield to go over the islands that would be activated by mechanical whales.

Don't give me that "I've never heard of a mechanical whale" face!