This Bananna is Far Too Small...

"Senator Kerry, In 2pac's hit song 'Changes' he makes this statement: 'we ain't yet to see a black president, uhh'.....your response?"

I just finished watching the first presidential debate between the two candidates that stand a chance of winning, (sorry Ralph), and it was entertaining to say the least. Rather that focus on what important topics were hit on, how each candidate represented themselves, or even the quality of questions asked, I thought I'd write a post on how stupid political debates are.
Let's start with topic number one, why (most) people watch them and what they're thinking about when they're watching them. OF COURSE!!! Everyone wants to know who won!!! Meanwhile, back at the Sloancave, Nathan is wondering why he didn't see the scoreboard behind the candidates heads. Must be that C-span, with their tricky "don't waver from the medium close-up shot of both candidates" policy, kept me from seeing the giant Coca-Cola light bulb powered scoreboard that the people at Miami University ripped off a couple of telephone poles from a local middle school football field. I guess it was obvious to everyone else in the world that watched it on ABC or CBS...because the phone lines lighted up with truck drivers and 107 year-old ladies that KNEW they had the answer as to who "won." Yeah, ok, right...when your argument for who won is "Well (insert candidate name) looked so much more professional and answered all the questions like a real gentleman," or, "HEY, (insert candidate name) is just as sweet as he can be and I know he'll lead our country in the right direction!" I start to get confused. So, wait a minute....am I trying to vote for the candidate that does the best stage performance or the candidate that seemed to be the biggest sweetheart? Gee wiz, it almost seems like there is something else I'm supposed to take into consideration...hmmm. OH YEAH! HOW ABOUT WHICH CANDIDATES BELIEFS MOST CLOSELY RESEMBLE MY OWN!? Small detail that most people leave out.
To put it simply, politics need to be put on a leash. This has gotten out of control. There are actually people out there who will be convinced to vote for someone, i.e. choose the leader of the free world, based on how good they looked on TV. Ladies and gentlemen, (both of you that actually read this blog), you know I speak the truth! Somewhere out there, a middle aged woman is sitting in her Laz-e-Boy recliner and has decided to vote for one candidate based on how he "did." I feel like crying.
The next thing I'd like to bring up is that no one actually knows what is being said at any given time anyway. This includes the candidates themselves. They've been given a list of key words to which they are supposed to reply to in a certain way. When a question is asked, they hear the key words, formulate a response that agrees with each key word's appropriate answer, and mumble something about the cold war or why they love soldiers afterwards. Let's not forget the millions of people at home who also have no idea what is actually being said partially due to the fact that the candidates are confused. There are Ivy League professors out there that are sipping on their green tea while writing a journal entry about what they think happened. In reality they're hippies drinking green tea that are very good with the English language and creative enough to make something reasonable sounding up to put on the paper. I can't believe people seriously buy into the huge publicity stunt that debates have become.
Remember that actions speak louder than words, and if you can't see the person's actions yourself then be careful where you get your information from!

For more on my political stance, and a lovely recipe for herb roasted chicken, check out the archives for my post titled "Pandas are Actually Quite Hostile"