So, is that a snake in your pocket?
You won't believe it...I say that knowing that I myself still do not. My roommate may be the most talented man alive. Talented at finding new ways to inconvenience me. The man is amazing I really must admit. Before I go into more detail, however, I feel it necessary to begin at the beginning. That is, when I first arrived on campus, so here we go.
I roll up to start unpacking my belongings at the 15 minute parking. After the weekend it is IMPOSSIBLE to get a spot sometimes. It was 8:30 so I was hoping maybe it might be a little slack. I get to Schwartz and all I can see is car after car on the side of the road. Then, just as I'm about to curse UNCW parking for the millionth time, a cloud opens up from the heavens and...behold! The closest parking space in the loading zone is open! So, with a little extra spring in my step, I unloaded everything from my car.
This is when the first unnerving thing happened. I get to my room door only to discover it's locked. My roommate had told me that he was coming back on Saturday and so, it being Monday, I knew something was up. Of course, I just assumed he was off somewhere...highly intoxicated, probably drooling in his beer mug, perhaps on all fours. I was just before accepting this as the best probability when I opened the door to my room and saw it exactly as I had left it. His sheets were still gone and the room was empty. He hadn't come back. Score number two! For the first time ever I would get to sleep in a quiet empty dorm room by myself.
Then it was time to park in the lot. As I drove around the first lot things were looking dark. Spaces were full almost to the very back, a 10 minute walk. Just to humor myself I decided to file down to the front and then circle around to the front lot. I was again smiled upon by the parking gods. There, closer than halfway back, was a beautiful, unbelievably close spot. "Excellent", I thought, and snagged it gleefully. On my way back up to my room I may have even whistled a little. Everything was unpacked successfully and I was ready to relax...and earlier than anticipated none the less. I sat back, took a deep breath, and enjoyed the silence.
...the silence...
it was quiet....
...too quiet
I glanced at the clock on my dresser. About 10 O'clock. Then, my phone rang. AH! My parents. I knew I had forgotten something. They were going to be irritated with me for not calling them to let them know I had arrived.
But no
no it wasn't my parents.
It was my roommate.
In what may have been the most muffled series of grunts and slurs I'd ever heard, I managed to decipher that something was wrong. It would seem that he was telling me something about his car. The car had a bad starter. He was at the Crown gas station near the edge of town, and yes. He needed a ride. Him, and his luggage. After hanging up I almost felt relieved. Something went wrong meaning that the world, in fact, wasn't about to spin off its axis. I grudgingly put on some shoes and headed out the door and to my explorer.
Upon arrival I noticed that some of the "luggage" in his car had little moving creatures in it. Not much of a surprise, I was expecting him to bring half the ark down with him at move in but they never showed so I was assuming they would be along sometime. Two Colombian Boas and a fat black and white rat...with lots of little baby rats for the snakes. "Excellent", I thought, with far less enthusiasm than I had the first time I had thought it. So We moved his stuff in my car and headed down the road.
Now the one good thing I thought could have come of this, was that I'd get some tasty food from a nearby fast food restaurant on our way back. I swung by Hardees and picked up a thickburger. It smelled delicious. Well, got back to Schwartz and he figured out a way to get the two tanks in unnoticed. Interestingly enough...it involved putting the snakes in his pocket. Genius. After making two trips we had gotten everything and I had to take the old Explorer back to the lot.
Of course as I go back to look for my space...its gone. So are all the spaces near the front...in fact most of them at the back. I must have circled around the parking lot for 5 minutes before I found a spot three spaces from the end. Near the creepy forest where all civilization ends. All the while just thinking of my delicious burger growing colder...and colder up in my room.
On the walk back it rained a little.
So here I sit....in my room...dumbfounded. It's really amazing how I could go from 1)Easy Unloading, 2) Empty Room, 3)Excellent Parking, 4) peaceful silence, to what I have now. 1)Double Reloading and Unloading, 2)Room shared with 1 human, 2 snakes, and at least 6 rats, 3) Parking in Iraq, 4)and even now I hear the subtle but remarkable sounds of "Squeak squeak squeeeeeeak...(rustle rustle)" from the corner.
Ah well Regardless of how rough life seems to dish it out, I try to remember to be thankful for what I have and recognize just how many blessings I've been given.
It's usually about now that I smile and sing "Jesus Loves Me"
...Oh...and my roommate isn't half bad.
Dang it, I left my jet pack at home.
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1 comment:
Nathan...Where in the heck does all of this humor come from?! You are so creative. Okay, now that your head can't fit through the door, one question... What happened to the thickburger??
~~Drama Mama
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