Aquafinale

ORDER!

Back in December I got a lovely letter from the office of the Sheriff of Johnston County informing me that I had to go serve some jury duty. Well, Dad pulled some strings and got me deferred because I had to head back to school. I was deferred to May of this year and my second letter came letting me know that I hadn't gotten off that easily.

I went in expecting to get thrown into the heat of some saucy case of ex-lover vs. ex-lover: a battle for control of the above ground outdoor pool that both of us claim to have exclusivly won from that radio station givaway. Rather than a dramatic dispute over who was responsible for the correct answer of "REO Speedwagon," however, I simply got oathed in and watched a short film about the honor of being a juror.

This film made me pine for a couple of house of QVC or Telemundo in its stead. I'd like to let the director know that incorperating moving camera in almost every shot, does not = profesionally produced film. Rather it equals, wow, I can see how horrid this film is from 45-50 obnoxiously different angles.

It didn't last too long, and I was on my merry way home with instructions to call a number later on that would tell me if I had to come back. What do you know?! I did. The next day I walked into the jury pool room, a windoless box about the size of your high school English classroom. Only, this time, there were about 60 people in there. Fighting for air I took a seat inbetween two older gentlemen that looked strikingly similar. One of them had gray facial hair, the other, obviously colored brown. The man on my right was apparenly not discouraged from missing work as he brought it with him. The room was utterly silent as he powered up his laptop and and went all typety away on a spredsheet. I didn't know people actually used Microsoft Excel. Learn something new every day. The man on my left was reading what appeared to be a political novel by an aspiring Tom Clancy wannabe. What I really remember about him, though, is his heavy mouth-breating through gum chewing. It's a very distinctive sound. When I here it I think of doctors or people like that.

Now, while I'm on the subject of this room I have to go off on a bit of a side rant. What the crap is wrong with cell phone companies? I can think of two main instances when one might want to turn off there cell phone.
1) To save power while recharging.
2) To avoid calling attention to oneself in a quiet setting.
Now, neither of these scenarios calls for the cell phone to spontaniously burst into dramatic fanfare. "BLEEPITY BLEEEEEP BLEEEP BLEEEEEEEEP!" Yet, every time I turn my phone off to avoid being a distraction in a quiet place, I forget that it wants to blast a little salsa or a jazz solo just before powering down. ARGH!

After waiting next to Mr. Excel and Darth Minty for about an hour the baliff came in and led us into the old courtroom in Smithfield. Wow, what a beautiful building. I didn't know Johnston county could have such elegance. I must admit, I was ginuinly looking forward to getting assigned to a case and doing my civic duty, but when the Judge read out the names of the plantiff and defendant, I was in for a surprise. I knew the defendant...oh well. When the plantiff's lawyer asked me if I knew him and I told him, yep, pretty much all my life, I was politly excused from the courtroom. Oh well, can win 'em all I suppose. Good luck person I know that I can't reveal!

And that was my adventure in Jury land. I'm safe for two years but who knows if I get called back. If I had to say one thing that I learned, it's that most trials do not last an afternoon, which is what I thought after watching several episodes of Law and Order.

Today is National Marinate Your Pet Day. DON'T FORGET!!!