AMEEEEEEERICA!
In celebration of our great democracy (and to test it) I've decided to send a little letter and let you fine folks follow it on its epic journey. The letter is a claim, or complaint letter, which will find it's way into the box of one LANCE CONSUMER AFFAIRS devision. I wrote the letter for my Intro. to Technical Writing class, got an A- on it, and now it's going to the big boys. Here is a copy of the letter in full:
Nathaniel Sloan
401 Maple Ave.
Four Oaks, NC 27524
September 27, 2006
Lance Consumer Affairs
P.O. Box 32368
Charlotte, NC 28232
To the Director of Lance Consumer Affairs:
I am writing with concern for a problem I discovered in one of your Home Packs of sandwich crackers. I’d like to begin by saying that I have been a loyal customer of Lance for years and have always been satisfied with the quality of your product.
In July of this year, I was given a Home Pack of Captain’s Wafers with Cream Cheese & Chives. As you are aware, each Home Pack comes with eight individually wrapped six-packs of sandwich crackers. Captain’s Wafers are my favorite of your cracker varieties and your Cream Cheese & Chives filling is delicious. Imagine my disappointment at discovering the first and last sandwich cracker in almost every pack was missing its Cream Cheese and Chives filling.
I realize that the manufacturing process isn’t a perfect one, but I feel some form of compensation is in order for my disappointment. I would also like to know if steps are being taken to ensure that every sandwich cracker in every pack attains the quality goals set forth by your company. Thank you very much for your time.
Sincerely yours,
Nathaniel Sloan
As you can see...I'm not sugar coating anything. I'll let you know what Lance's response is and quite frankly there are only two ways to look at the outcome. If they give me some compensation, we're good. If they don't, democracy is in danger and we all must take action against their neglect.
If you don't own a gun, don't put one in your script.
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4 comments:
You get serious when It comes to your crackers huh? =)
If the onion-and-chive fillings go missing from our delicious Lance crackers, then the terrorists have truly won.
I wipe a tear from my eye as I read and re-read with pride your letter to the fat cats at the Lance corporation. Stick it to The Man, Nate! In this crazy, mixed up world, it frightens me to think that any one of us could purchase sandwich crackers, only to discover that the filling is missing. It's a SANDWICH cracker! Correct me if i'm wrong, but no sandwich I know of can indeed be a sandwich without some kind of filling between it's outer layer, be that layer bread or be it crackers. It's the very nature of a sandwich. I'm proud of you, Nathan Sloan. And so are mom and dad. We raised you right!
It starts with a cracker going missing and the next thing you know FAMILIES go missing!!
STOP THE ROT!!
Defend your cracker eating freedoms bud!! For ALL of us.
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