Dynamically Posable!!!

Turkey spelled backwards is yekrut. That sounds like something from the netherlands...

Another year and another ThanksGiving! Sadly, as we all well know, Turkey Day is little more than a grand send off to the Christmas shopping season. No one really cares about thanksgiving. It's that holiday your obligated to celebrate because your family thinks its "special" time but in reality the only good thing that could come of it is some tasty food. Hold your tater tots there! That isn't my view on thanksgiving, it's just the way I see most people celebrating it now. The total evil mutation of Christmas has swallowed Thanksgiving alive! It's now not only that people have forgotten the meaning of Christmas but now it's destroyed the meaning of Thanksgiving as well.

Now it is time for me to hate on Jimmy Kimmel...

Late Night Television! A wonderful world of laughs and fun. David Letterman's witty, strange, and dry humor has kept audiences laughing for decades. Likewise classic bits like "headlines" have helped the stand up mad man Jay Leno lead the way in the ratings. Then you have Conan O'Brian...hilarious. For a while there was Craig Kilborn but we'll just pretend he never happened. That is what audiences did for years anyway. Then ABC felt the urge to urinate an undeniable stinking stain of death onto the air waves every weeknight. One so horrendously awful that I can smell it still at midday. Jimmy Kimmel Live.

I know I've used this phrase on many occasions before but only on ones that are really deserving of it. This is one of those situations. Jimmy Kimmel has found a way to defy the very LAWS of physics by both sucking and blowing at the same time. The guy just ISN'T funny no matter how you slice it. He's a trash face scum bag that somehow sold himself into TV in that oh so wonderful series The Man Show. THE FRIGGIN MAN SHOW! That's right. Somehow a host of the potty humor show that had one joke, women, which got OLD, was able to seduce someone at ABC and make them think he was material for Late Night. If he's material for late night the I'm material for "traditional asian spirit dancer!" Every time I've had the misfortune of seeing his show I have never laughed but rather been offended by his lack of good humor or his horrid leftist slant. Lefties out there, don't hate me...I'm not a conservative either but taking it to EITHER extreme ticks me off like "woah." So I'm watching him last night and he says he likes Thanksgiving because it's not a religious holiday. Religious holidays pull us apart, he doesn't like them. It's a day when we can all sit together and give thanks. Ok Mr. "Cool Guy".... thanks to WHAT? oh ...thanks mom...for...uh having me. You think that's what the pilgrims were thankful for the first thanksgiving? I'm pretty sure the pilgrims were thankful to God for bringing them across the ocean. I mean after all they were PILGRIMS!
Pilgrim(n):
1:A religious devotee who journeys to a shrine or sacred place.
2:One who embarks on a quest for something conceived of as sacred.
Pilgrim buddy...these guys were Christian. Sure they had some native friends there but I don't think they all agreed to be thankful to just...uh...well...something. Pretty sure the pilgrims were thankful to God.
Listen if religion isn't your thing then FINE but don't dog it on national television in an attempt to be humorous. Even with all the religion stuff aside JK is a stinking bag of flowering poo sporing lameness. Do yourself a favor and watch JKL and ask yourself... "Is this lame?" A resounding yes will boom from every center of your brain and you too will know just how unfunny Jimmy Kimmel is. oh...its past the eleven O'clock hour...Jimmy Kimmel will be on soon. I think I'll go watch my dog scratch at the floor as this is a much more humorous sight. (sigh) don't forget that deep down inside...I still love everyone....

That aside I believe its time for me to go home and eat some leftovers. But what if leftovers got really pissy about the earlier meal and totally came to life and ate the people. That would be trippy....just think about that man...