If I Had a Hamma and Cheese Sandwich

Interesting developments today.

THIS JUST IN!

Today's UNCW local news-line leaked the following information in a communicade from the Registrar's Office in James Hall:

Junior student, Nathan Sloan of the Seahawk Village apartments made an alteration to his school programming to include a second major - English, with a concentration in professional writing.

We attempted to get comments from his spokesperson but he maintained that Mr. Sloan had no comment. Later in the day, however, one of our reporters was able to track down Mr. Sloan himself and got commentary straight from the source.

"I've been considering this option for a while but it wasn't until I my recent sit-down with the English department chair that I knew for sure that everything would work out for me to do so. I'm incredibly happy to be able to work within the English department in what I hope will be a mutually beneficial relationship."

When asked to comment on whether this would affect his graduation date or reflected a wavering in his commitment to UNCW's film program, Nathan had the following to say:

"In no way would I consider this a wavering in my commitment [to the film department]. Making movies has always been a dream and a deep personal passion of mine that I intend to chase as long as I can. If anything, I feel an intense study of English will only serve to benefit me in future film endeavors. As far as graduation goes, I'm happy to say that I should still graduate in May 2008. The only difference is that now I'll have two major areas of study and a certification in professional writing by the time I walk."

In response to this, stocks have already jumped 45 points and we expect the trend to continue well into the end of the month.