White Bread's Not Your Problem Mister

MLK Jr. Day Rider
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.

Into the swing of things.

I feel embarrassed...

YES embarrassed and ashamed that I've fallen to the low of letting my blog go this long without updating, but upon looking at my last few posts I realize that they were all at least partially devoted to my apologizing for not writing. The logical part of my brain tells me that this can't be interesting reading, so I will cease to apologize for not updating now and forevermore. If I don't update for a while, just know I'm sorry and we'll move on to more pressing matters from there.

I'm back in school but short of feeling like I'm knee deep in sweet cow muck there isn't much of interest to repot there either, so let's skip that, shall we?

Today before class I ran across a bin of newspapers. Apparently the school has figured out a way to distribute the Wilmington Star News, USA Today and yes....even the great New York Times to anyone that will have them for free. I took advantage of this by snatching up all three by the newsstand at the door and zipping outside (pretending to be criminally rebellious, of course.)
Hopefully what I'm able to read from them between classes will give me some good material to write about, such as what I found today.

In Oak Park Heights, Minnesota a strange 22 year old convicted sex offender tried his hand and being and idiot and it looks like he pulled it off. I'll spare you the details as to how he became a sex offender, but suffice to say, he was graciously granted parole, which clearly indicated he was not to have unsupervised contact with minors. As it turns out, he somehow decided that making a series of comically ridiculous visits to a high school was in his best interst.

Of course, you can't just walk into a school without some kind of excuse, so he came up with the most plausible and inconspicuous reason possible.

He claimed to be "Caspian James Crichton-Stuart IV," the Fifth Duke of Cleveland and 27th in line for the British throne. During his visits he informed everyone that he was 17, interested in attending the high school, and insisted upon being referred to by everyone (principal included) as "Your Grace"

Surprisingly, the public high school's student newspaper was able to see through the shame that a member of British nobility would want to attend high school in Minnesota. They contacted the British Consulate which informed them there was no such title as the "Duke of Cleveland" the house of cards came crashing down.

It's a good thing he overlooked the details in his title the world may have been fooled. If I were going to make up a title of Nobility mine would be unstoppable.

"Frodo James Hemmingway-Stuart IV, The Fifth Duke of Mayonnaise"

No one would ever be suspicious...

My computer smells like hot melting plastic...hope that extended warranty is still in effect...