Laminate Wood Eh? Could've Fooled Me!

NoStach
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.

Tis the season...for a great many things...

Please DO NOT BE ALARMED by the photo of my lip above. You needn't worry. A Ninja has not expertly removed my upper head and part of my chin with his razor sharp sword.

Something about the Christmas season has struck a particularly beautiful holiday note in me and I have decided that it is TIME for the Chronicles of the Mustache to commence. That's right. Inspired by the power of the mustaches of yore, I have decided to undergo experimental upper lip transformation, just to see how it will effect my day to day life. From December 1, 2005 to January 15, 2006 there is to be no shaving from either corner of my mouth, up. I think it will be exciting to see what happens (or if anything happens at all in my case) and so I will keep you updated as it progresses.

Now, despite it's complete lack of relation, the mustache has already performed it's first miraculous act by reminding me of my next topic of conversation, holiday shopping. Now, I'm a college student, so don't think any of you have much of a chance of getting anything beyond a kind smile or perhaps some mono from me this year. The problem I see all around me is that no one knows how to shop and correctly and well, in an instance of some of it's finest work, irony seems to have blessed the one person who can't afford to with the knowledge of how. I figure there is but one way to combat this cruel trick. All ye who can afford to ... prepare yourselves for!!!

NATHAN'S HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE

Please Note: This guide applies to about 80% of all gift buying experiences, not all attempts to give gifts in the ways listed will result in failure. IT IN NO WAY IS REFLECTIVE OF GIFTS I HAVE RECEIVED OR EXPECT TO RECEIVE It's not personally reflective to me.

POINT 1: Don't freak out.

All too often the main reason I see horribly mismatched gifts given out is that the person giving the gift has freaked out hardcore about what to get the other person. My mom does this sometimes, despite her best efforts. (Ohhhh! I don't know what they like! I just don't have any idea what to get them!) Thinking this way is your first mistake because it often times leads you to either buy something without thinking at all in exasperation (a big no-no) or it can lead to, but is not the sole cause, of the next mistake.

POINT 2: Avoid buying things that are known "likes" of the recipient.

This one is big and may be a bit controversial, but I'm a strong believer in it. If little Timmy likes Harry Potter (which I found out from his mom,) guess what he's NOT getting from Nathan!? That's right...anything relating to Harry Potter...or any children's books for that matter. I try to completely avoid all areas of the "known likes" for these reasons.
...they already have it
...if they don't already have it and it's not really expensive, they don't want it.
...it says to me "I did the minimal amount of research and got your present over with and I'm SAFE, whether you like it or NOT!"

Before anyone starts throwing knives at me, let me reiterate that there ARE exceptions to this rule. Some people (a la me) want things and can't afford them no matter how cheap they are. Case in point, I like Indiana Jones.
Last year my friend Matt had an Indiana Jones shirt made for me since I collect parts of the costume. I loved that present! But please also note that the reason it worked was because he a) did his research and found that I didn't have one b) made a reasonable inference that I would want one based on what he knows of me and c) found a way to make it happen that showed some amount of personal time and effort on his part.
In like manner my cousin Stephen got me an Indiana Jones related gift that I enjoyed, a video game for Xbox. I’m assuming he a)did his research and found out I didn't have one b)made a reasonable inference that I would want one based on what he knows of me and c) found a way to make it happen that showed some amount of personal time and effort on his part. That's what really means something, and they were both effective presents that didn't break the bank and actually were related to an interest of mine. So it certainly can be done if you go at it from the right angle.

The main instance in which I say to avoid giving presents that are "known likes" (with the reasons listed above in mind) are those where you can't put the time or effort into it needed to make it work (aka: weird uncle Al that you've met 5 times in your life or coworker Bob.) If you're buying for someone that you really don't know all that well and you're really doing it out of obligation, just go ahead and buy them a gift card to some place unusual and nice...or get them something to eat at a really nice restaurant. Be more general. If you don't know them, they probably don't know you and thus won't be offended if you buy them a more general type present. Trust me, people would much rather get a box of hot doughnuts than a $5-10 whatzzahmuh something that is related to one of their "likes."

Avoiding likes can also be useful when buying for people you DO know and WILL spend time and effort shopping for. No matter how hard you try, your sources could be flawed and they could have it already, or they may not be interested in it regardless of what you thought they were into. It really depends on the person, so just use good non-freaked out judgment and go from their.

POINT 3: Don't be lazy.

In the same way that you shouldn't "Freak out" about what to get them or run to the most obvious and first answer you come to...the main thing is just don't be lazy. Finding a present that means something to someone (especially someone that you aren't really close to) is not and should never be easy. If you don't know someone and you found their present in 10 minutes, there is a good chance they're going to hate it and they're going to know just how little you care. If you care that little about the person, at least give them a card or money or better yet...find a way out of buying them anything at all. There is no shame in no wanting to let some obscure person in your life know just how obscure they are. If they are obscure and they shouldn't be, let the true meaning of Christmas go to work and practice a little brotherhood and bonding with them. Repair the problem of not caring to know them and in the process you'll figure out a good thoughtful gift. In that way gifts can not only show how much someone means to you, but they can help you come to know someone that perhaps, you didn't before. Is it easy? No. Is it the right way to do it? Yes.

POINT 4: Remember why you're doing it.

If you're a Christian you give gifts as a way of showing gratitude for the gift of Jesus' life. If you aren't a Christian, why are you celebrating Christmas? I wish you would stop.
Because of the weight behind the reason for our giving presents, we should never give them half heatedly, out of obligation or regretfully. A gift is most often a physical item, but a good gift is good because of something that happens outside of the physical realm. It should be an earnest expression of appreciation for that person and above all for the common bond you both share that is the generosity of God. Only when totally focused on the true meaning of Christmas can we really enjoy it beyond its market value.

The Holiday Shopping season is officially open. With the right attitude you can make it the most merry one ever!

You may not be worth much in US$ but I'll bet you're worth a pretty Yen or two!