Like Aerial Photography for your Brain

Let me tell you guys a little story of how dorky I am.

The other day (friday) I was in hall waiting to audition for a student (actual 16mm) film, when I noticed an old acquaintance from high school was waiting in the hall as well. We eventually started talking along with the producer guy that was waiting out there and magic was brought up when a fourth outsider friend of the guy walked up. It wasn't long before a trusty deck of bicycle cards was out and tricks were being performed. I've always known that Brendon (the guy from high school) was a magician but I hadn't really ever seen any of his stuff in action. Maybe he was really good, maybe I'm just the easily amused type, but I was absolutely amazed at every trick.
He did this one trick where he put a card in my hand and pulled out another card from the deck...then he waved the other card under my hand and he suddenly had the card that I was supposed to have! And what's more...thats right....the other card was in my hand.

WHAT THE CRAP!?!?!?!?

I like magic! Have any of you guys had experiences with magicians? If not you may have an experience with a really bad one in the coming weeks because I'm so curious I must learn magic for myself!

Looks like I'm going to be a random bar go-er! Rock on!

Long Sentences and Lots of Adjectives

Too Much Paper
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.

In recognition of my poor updating as of late, I have resolved to update my blog every day this week....so check back EVERY DAY!

As you can tell from the picture above I've been taking advantage of the university’s free newspaper program. I usually just skim through and pick out the interesting articles. You know the funny thing about interesting articles? They're always SPLIT UP!

Clever scheme by the paper company to make you look at ads, no doubt. Come on though, seriously. I was reading something that started on the third page of section B in the Times and it suddenly ended with a note "See 13B." WHAT??? Can this column foolery not be contained to the front page at least? They seriously think they should be able to skip me from the third to the 13th page on a whim? Those arrogant jerks! I won't give them the honor of my reading their opinions on the stock market or "reporting" on the war any more. From now on when the words stop...I STOP.

Unless it's a really good one...DANG IT! THEY WIN, DON'T THEY!?!?!?


For my random end segment, please enjoy a poem I wrote for my class this week in the Anglo-Saxon form:

A lime hates the likeness, it calls for a liar

The old man so chimed, two chaps who have challenged

Heaven could have us as hard as we push them

Level those fields and lift up the lonely

As somewhere to see them drink lemonade slowly

White Bread's Not Your Problem Mister

MLK Jr. Day Rider
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.

Into the swing of things.

I feel embarrassed...

YES embarrassed and ashamed that I've fallen to the low of letting my blog go this long without updating, but upon looking at my last few posts I realize that they were all at least partially devoted to my apologizing for not writing. The logical part of my brain tells me that this can't be interesting reading, so I will cease to apologize for not updating now and forevermore. If I don't update for a while, just know I'm sorry and we'll move on to more pressing matters from there.

I'm back in school but short of feeling like I'm knee deep in sweet cow muck there isn't much of interest to repot there either, so let's skip that, shall we?

Today before class I ran across a bin of newspapers. Apparently the school has figured out a way to distribute the Wilmington Star News, USA Today and yes....even the great New York Times to anyone that will have them for free. I took advantage of this by snatching up all three by the newsstand at the door and zipping outside (pretending to be criminally rebellious, of course.)
Hopefully what I'm able to read from them between classes will give me some good material to write about, such as what I found today.

In Oak Park Heights, Minnesota a strange 22 year old convicted sex offender tried his hand and being and idiot and it looks like he pulled it off. I'll spare you the details as to how he became a sex offender, but suffice to say, he was graciously granted parole, which clearly indicated he was not to have unsupervised contact with minors. As it turns out, he somehow decided that making a series of comically ridiculous visits to a high school was in his best interst.

Of course, you can't just walk into a school without some kind of excuse, so he came up with the most plausible and inconspicuous reason possible.

He claimed to be "Caspian James Crichton-Stuart IV," the Fifth Duke of Cleveland and 27th in line for the British throne. During his visits he informed everyone that he was 17, interested in attending the high school, and insisted upon being referred to by everyone (principal included) as "Your Grace"

Surprisingly, the public high school's student newspaper was able to see through the shame that a member of British nobility would want to attend high school in Minnesota. They contacted the British Consulate which informed them there was no such title as the "Duke of Cleveland" the house of cards came crashing down.

It's a good thing he overlooked the details in his title the world may have been fooled. If I were going to make up a title of Nobility mine would be unstoppable.

"Frodo James Hemmingway-Stuart IV, The Fifth Duke of Mayonnaise"

No one would ever be suspicious...

My computer smells like hot melting plastic...hope that extended warranty is still in effect...

We all have fangs, we just grind them down in our sleep..

Little Nathan
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.

Fairwell Four Oaks!

It hardly seems like it's been a month since I got here but dang! It's been a month. I had so many things I planned on getting done while I was away from school and I'm glad now that I didn't list them on this blog, because I did almost none of them. Oh well, that's the way the cheese drizzles I suppose.

The above picture is one I found of me as a young tike of but 1 or 2 years. I just put it up here because I felt the internet needed something outrageously adorable on it for a change. No dout that it does now.

It's been a good break but I can't say that I'm not ready to be back into the thick of edumacation at Wilmington. There are a great many things I miss about being out there and what scares me is that this semester will probably fly by just like the last. I do hope to actually have some sort of film project to show for myself in the next 6 months and plenty of interesting random posts and tidbits about stuff that you could probably live the rest of your life happily without knowing, but why would you? You, loyal reader, you are a shining joy to me.

I love comments. Give me some comments I'll give you some graham crackers.

Tearing at the Fabric of Mimes

Just a Passenger
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.

Is it time to say goodbye again?

Christmas has come and gone and I'm managed to remain silent on my blog now for over a week. Now it's in the last 3 hours of 2005 and I realize that I haven't really taken any of my normal reflective time to write a post about it either, so this post will have to be a hybrid of sorts. I'll spare you the skimming that would be required to read about my holiday that I'm sure was not all together different from what most people experience. The picture above was taken yesterday from a two seater plane that my friend Keith Kapral took me up in, but I have pictures to tell that story. I've spent time with my parents and I've spent time with friends, but I suppose that's what this is all about tonight, the passage of time and it's relevance to us, so I'll just lump it all together.

It really is a shame that Thanksgiving gets turned into little more than the fattening kick off to Christmas shopping, because it's so obvious that taking time to be thankful has a most powerful impact on how we perceive our lives. For this reason I'm not going to celebrate New Year's Eve tonight. I'm going to celebrate "Second Thanksgiving" by listing ten things (not in any particular order) that I'm thankful for from specifically this year. Afterwards I'll give you my 2006 to-do list.

I'm thankful for growing up.
It's almost scary to see maturity creep further and further in. I've always been told that was was mature for my age, sure, but over the past year that seems a silly thing for anyone to have said! I feel I've grown as a student and truly taken hold of what it means to learn. The public education system doesn't quite teach you how to learn, I'm afraid. I'm very grateful to be one of the few that made it though that obstacle.
I'm also thankful to see myself growing up physically...I can grow pretend facial hair now! Who knew? I don't doubt there comes a day when you don't want to get any older but I hope that day doesn't come for me.
I'm especially thankful to see myself growing emotionally (don't roll your eyes!) and spiritually. I've been tested by some of the hardest situations of my life and I feel that though I'm screwing up sometimes, I'm still on the road to some wonderful realization.

I'm thankful for my relationship with Caroline.
I don't talk about personal relationships much, and I won't now because it's just not my thing (which should tell you something) but I feel truly lucky to have met and grown close to her. It's been a bumpy road this year but I really think that just means it's a valid love, one you fight for. I don't know exactly what the passage of more time will bring us, but I do know it will be happiness in some form, and I look forward to that.

I'm thankful for my parents.
As you get older it's a fact of life that you grow less fond of spending time with your parents. Something most will tell you to just accept. I've realized even more this year how special it has been to me and how much my life would be different if I didn't have a mother and a father who love me so dearly and loved each other. They're getting to where they fuss a lot over nit-picky stuff, but I hope that somehow they'll realize what a gift they have in each other as well.

I'm thankful for good roommates.
After the first semester of my freshman year I was very worried about living with Brett Roach, and if you read my blog much you might know why. The same holds true for my fears of personality clash between me and my current roommate Devin DiMattia. Fortunately for me, however, both of them took me for surprise in their respective semesters and turned out to be (usually) a joy to live with. Devin is a fun guy, I enjoy his humor, and Roach...well, he didn't eat my stuff anymore. What struck me about both was how respectful they were of me, and for that I respectfully thank you both for treating me well.

I'm thankful for Caswell
I've said it a million times it seems like now, but Caswell has been a wonderfully influential place to me and my life. This past summer was no different. I made wonderful new years and grew closer to the Lord in powerful ways. There would never be a way for me to say thank you enough to everyone and everything that went into that place by the sea that is so dear to my heart.

I'm thankful for my friends.
True friends are hard to come by. At UNCW that is especially obvious. Thankfully I made a few in high school, I have some close ones from Caswell, and I've even started getting some on campus. To everyone who's ever taken a genuine interest in me, specifically in the last year, thank you so much! Your efforts have not been in vain. I know you each and I care for you all. Whether it's been your kindness, circumstance, or just your winning personality that made our paths cross, it's something more that's sparked the true friendship that I'd now do anything to protect. (awwww)

I'm thankful for Yam
Speaking of friends how about a specific friend? Why point out Yam (Kevin Cruise) from the long list of great folks at Caswell? Easy. He's a great guy. I'm well aware he'll likely punch me for writing this later, but going into a job that I had great anxiety over this summer it sure did wonders to have him around to make sure I didn't get in trouble and that I knew how to screw in a light bulb. I learned that a Conga with a good stage light doesn't fast leave the memory and that you can...no matter what you think, make disagreeable software and computers cooperate when you have to, just in the nick of time. Thanks for everything!

I'm thankful for special occasions.
Whether it be a romantic dinner on Valentine's day with my sweet heart or a Coldplay/Death Cab/U2 concert for the first time, they've all made wonderful impressions on me and memories that I'll carry with me for years to come (mind willing.)

I'm thankful for avoiding death.
I know I can't do it forever, but it sure is great to be alive. Guess what, "person wondering why I'm not specifically thankful for something you think I should be"? That means I'm thankful for it ALL! I know this is just a holding place for souls and that something far better awaits, but in the mean time I'm lucky to have what I have...and to not have what I don't have. Let's not forget that a lack of teeth protruding from our chest bones is, in fact, a blessing though it's a lack.

I'm thankful for Matt Johnson.
Matt's been a good friend even though we have been more distant this year than in years past. It makes me sad, but I'm certainly thankful for the fact that he's not going to let that change things. Though our friendship has been a constant, I do look forward to certain changes in our lives I'm sure must happen sooner or later. Keep making me proud with your stories hobbies and unique, but good, nature!!!

And now part of my 2006 to do list (including New Year's Resolution!!!)

-send birthday cards to my friends
-be more patient
-be a better servant
-do something with my dad just for fun
-stick to a healthy diet
-play with Bandit (my dog)
-step up to things I'm usually scared of
-read at least 3 books on my own time
-startle my girlfriend often (and laugh)
-write a script
-make a movie

Though all of these could individually be considered "resolutions" my Main (and most boring) resolution is to start being financially responsible. I don't actually have an income yet so I'm just going to assume now is a good time to start thinking about managing my money (though I really detest the stuff.) I want to keep all my receipts and record what I'm spending and what I'm spending it on. YES YES YES!!!

God bless each and every one of you. It floors me to look back on my life and know that each and every one of you have stories just as intricate of your own. I know you are all blessed to be alive and there is always time to do something else great with yourselves. All that's left is for you to pry your rump off the sofa and let me see it! (bwa haha!)

Further investigation revealed there was not a rotting badger carcass in the kitchen...

...In Defense of Fat Dresses

It's beginning to look a lot like.

Boy oh boy! I spent the first part of the week on the other side of the state. Why and where? Well of course it was in quaint little Mt. Holly where my dear girlfriend Caroline resides. I set out to surprise her on Monday morning only to find myself hopelessly lost at around noon (thanks to the fallacy that is MapQuest.) 40 minutes behind my projected arrival time, I grew weary and decided to call Caroline's brother, Stewart for help. The road that was supposed to be taking me to downtown Mt. Holly instead took me through a huge oil tank facility that spanned both sides of the road and several city blocks before it came to a dead end. Upon my describing my situation, Stewart gave his grim response "You're in TANK TOWN!"

At that very moment my heart sank and yours would too if you had been hearing it, for there was something in the manner of his speech that seemed to suggest a certain doom that came with the dread TANK TOWN.

Luckily for me I managed to escape the oil tankers and eventually a kind soul at a Citgo station directed me to Main Street and from there it was quite easy.

All three days of my stay went well. We exchanged gifts, I got to spend time with her family and of course it was a treat just to spend time with her for two days. We ate ourselves silly with ice cream Monday night and saw "Walk the Line" in Gastonia's theater on Tuesday. If you every cared to know anything about Johnny Cash, check it out.

Since I've been back home I've done little but procrastinate starting my laundry. Who need's clean clothes anyway? I'll just cover myself with dampened napkins when every possible clothing source is exhausted. It's just my little way of sticking it to the man...

Who came up with the name sofa? That's just the lazy man's way of saying couch!!!

Glory the Wonder Hound!!!

...random a day

You ever get that crick in the back of your neck from sleeping on your head funny? Well, I do. It's not that often but it usually comes after I do something horrifically stupid while I'm asleep. Some of you may know this already, but most doctors and smart health people agree that sleeping on your belly is the worst way to sleep. After careful consideration, I'm beginning to believe them.

For years my favorite way of sleeping was on my stomach. I'd nestle my head all up close to my pillow and relax comfortably...but no more. It just puts too much strain on my neck. It's like holding it in the far left or right turned position for 8 hours straight (obviously) and curiously, after nearly 20 years of use...this is actually uncomfortable. This reminds me of the time when I was younger and I was sleeping on my belly with my head turned to the right. With my head STILL turned to the right, I proceeded to attempt to turn my body to the left and at some point during the process I woke up with a jolt and heart my neck pop loudly. It hurt to keep it completely still...it REALLY hurt to move it in the slightest in any direction. Eventually my gasping cries reached my mother who wrapped my head in place with my pillow. It eventually got better...but man, that sucked.

The moral of the story is basically, if you sleep on your stomach, try to force yourself to sleep on your back or side...because if you don't something's going to pop and then you've just gotten your head taped to a pillow.

In other news I just bought myself my Christmas gift. A couple of days ago I was thinking about the glory days back at grandma Sloan's and how I used to love playing/watching my cousin Stephen play the old Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Graphic Adventure for DOS. I found it on ebay 100% complete. Every floppy disc, every manual, even Henry's diary and the little red Lucasfilm games decoder film...all in the original box. I snached it up for just $15 and I can't wait to pop that baby in and let the good times roll...8 bit style!

"A splinter hurts the foot but a footless man surely chopped the wood." (Old Sloanian Proverb)

Tend to Talk Too Tersly

Home Suede Home

So I've been home for an ENTIRE week (almost) and I haven't updated. It'll be ok. Nothing Earth shattering has happened aside from my seeing U2 LIVE and my seeing my sister's boyfriend, Jeffery, graduate earlier today. I'll tackle one issue at a time.

If you don't like U2, I'd like to say that there is a chance that you really could like them, but it's not very likely that you'll ever have it since the real fans are cutthroat with each other to get tickets to that chance. Going to their concert is radically different from hearing them on a worn out CD as I have for the past 3-4 years. My sister, whom I went with, is almost disgusting because she's such a big U2 fan, but I've always quietly skirted along the "they're OK" lines. I really enjoy their 80s stuff from The Joshua Tree Album, "Where the Streets Have No Name" is my favorite song. For a international super band that's been in the running for over 20 years, I figured a couple of really cool songs doesn't quite meet quota and I'm sure there are more who agree with me. But regardless of what you think of their music, there is little way of denying that they put on an amazing show, nay and experience.

The stage is set up so that an ellipse, or a half circle of catwalk, comes out from the stage and around a portion of audience. Melissa and I were about 8 yards from this ellipse and quite close to the center of it. The opening band was institution (the new band of the lead singer of Bush) and they were decent. They apparently played a lot of Bush songs, but since they were a little before my time, I didn't know any of them.

U2 kicked off with "City of Blinding Lights." As the piano tinkled on, Bono hopped up on stage RIGHT in front of us and confetti came drifting down in a huge cloud. To my disappointment, the band didn't come out onto the ellipse as much as Melissa said they did in Philadelphia, but it was ok. Every song sounded amazing. Bono frequently involves the crowd so there were many sing along and every note from Edge's guitar, Larry's drums, and Adam's Bass came through with clarity I've never experienced at a concert before. If you ever doubt U2's place in the the influence of rock music, just go to their concert and listen to Edge's trademark technique during "Still Haven't Found" or "Where the Streets have no Name." Then feel the pattern of thumps vibrating through your chest from the drums and the driving bass during "Sunday Bloody Sunday." You'd hear "Beautiful Day" for the first time because it's like hearing a different song from what was killed on the radio a few years ago. I promise, no matter where you stood before, you'll find some new level of respect for them musically after seeing them live.

I could go on for hours talking about the effects during the show, but that would get boring. They had a LOT of cool props and lights (including 6 curtains of linked lights that displayed images across them) but no single thing is what made the show good. It was really just a lot of fun to see them up close, hear their music for what it is, and experience it with a true fan and a wonderful sister.

As for Jeff's graduation...I'd say congrats, but apparently he doesn't like that so...go do...something...Jeffery...
We had refreshments after the ceremony and then had lunch at Ameadeo's (sp?) with his family, who are all lovely and charming people. If you ever go to that little Italian restaurant on Hillsborough Street, I highly suggest the shrimp alfredo with linguini.

And with that, I have a danger filled world to save with my atomic ice breath...

Just Watch the Fireworks

'Stachon Genesis, Facengelion
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.

It's growing...kind of.

So yeah, I feel bad for not updating in an entire week but at the same time, I don't really...because it's finals week. Let's review what's going on here. I had all my exams starting on last Saturday and through yesterday. Friday is my last exam in public speaking and I'll be seeing The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe before I go back home. Then let's not forget that in less than a week (Monday) I'm going to see U2 live. Like them or not, U2 is probably globally the most famous band.

As you can see...the facial hair is...well...there. In just one week a turd has formed on my face. Don't expect picture updates every week (like you were.)

In other news...I've found another Nathan Sloan. I was on facebook (an online college database of students across the country) and low and behold there is a Nathan Sloan at Arkansas Tech. After adding him to my friend list he sent me a message telling me he was a film student, loved Wilmington, and wore a Batman costume for Halloween 2 years ago. He's just too frighteningly similar. After much deliberation I've decided that the only option I have is to battle with him. One of us is the evil twin, so I must prove that I'm the best by rising to victory. I'll leave it to you to decide which is which.

I was into Christmas lights when they were underground!

Laminate Wood Eh? Could've Fooled Me!

NoStach
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.

Tis the season...for a great many things...

Please DO NOT BE ALARMED by the photo of my lip above. You needn't worry. A Ninja has not expertly removed my upper head and part of my chin with his razor sharp sword.

Something about the Christmas season has struck a particularly beautiful holiday note in me and I have decided that it is TIME for the Chronicles of the Mustache to commence. That's right. Inspired by the power of the mustaches of yore, I have decided to undergo experimental upper lip transformation, just to see how it will effect my day to day life. From December 1, 2005 to January 15, 2006 there is to be no shaving from either corner of my mouth, up. I think it will be exciting to see what happens (or if anything happens at all in my case) and so I will keep you updated as it progresses.

Now, despite it's complete lack of relation, the mustache has already performed it's first miraculous act by reminding me of my next topic of conversation, holiday shopping. Now, I'm a college student, so don't think any of you have much of a chance of getting anything beyond a kind smile or perhaps some mono from me this year. The problem I see all around me is that no one knows how to shop and correctly and well, in an instance of some of it's finest work, irony seems to have blessed the one person who can't afford to with the knowledge of how. I figure there is but one way to combat this cruel trick. All ye who can afford to ... prepare yourselves for!!!

NATHAN'S HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE

Please Note: This guide applies to about 80% of all gift buying experiences, not all attempts to give gifts in the ways listed will result in failure. IT IN NO WAY IS REFLECTIVE OF GIFTS I HAVE RECEIVED OR EXPECT TO RECEIVE It's not personally reflective to me.

POINT 1: Don't freak out.

All too often the main reason I see horribly mismatched gifts given out is that the person giving the gift has freaked out hardcore about what to get the other person. My mom does this sometimes, despite her best efforts. (Ohhhh! I don't know what they like! I just don't have any idea what to get them!) Thinking this way is your first mistake because it often times leads you to either buy something without thinking at all in exasperation (a big no-no) or it can lead to, but is not the sole cause, of the next mistake.

POINT 2: Avoid buying things that are known "likes" of the recipient.

This one is big and may be a bit controversial, but I'm a strong believer in it. If little Timmy likes Harry Potter (which I found out from his mom,) guess what he's NOT getting from Nathan!? That's right...anything relating to Harry Potter...or any children's books for that matter. I try to completely avoid all areas of the "known likes" for these reasons.
...they already have it
...if they don't already have it and it's not really expensive, they don't want it.
...it says to me "I did the minimal amount of research and got your present over with and I'm SAFE, whether you like it or NOT!"

Before anyone starts throwing knives at me, let me reiterate that there ARE exceptions to this rule. Some people (a la me) want things and can't afford them no matter how cheap they are. Case in point, I like Indiana Jones.
Last year my friend Matt had an Indiana Jones shirt made for me since I collect parts of the costume. I loved that present! But please also note that the reason it worked was because he a) did his research and found that I didn't have one b) made a reasonable inference that I would want one based on what he knows of me and c) found a way to make it happen that showed some amount of personal time and effort on his part.
In like manner my cousin Stephen got me an Indiana Jones related gift that I enjoyed, a video game for Xbox. I’m assuming he a)did his research and found out I didn't have one b)made a reasonable inference that I would want one based on what he knows of me and c) found a way to make it happen that showed some amount of personal time and effort on his part. That's what really means something, and they were both effective presents that didn't break the bank and actually were related to an interest of mine. So it certainly can be done if you go at it from the right angle.

The main instance in which I say to avoid giving presents that are "known likes" (with the reasons listed above in mind) are those where you can't put the time or effort into it needed to make it work (aka: weird uncle Al that you've met 5 times in your life or coworker Bob.) If you're buying for someone that you really don't know all that well and you're really doing it out of obligation, just go ahead and buy them a gift card to some place unusual and nice...or get them something to eat at a really nice restaurant. Be more general. If you don't know them, they probably don't know you and thus won't be offended if you buy them a more general type present. Trust me, people would much rather get a box of hot doughnuts than a $5-10 whatzzahmuh something that is related to one of their "likes."

Avoiding likes can also be useful when buying for people you DO know and WILL spend time and effort shopping for. No matter how hard you try, your sources could be flawed and they could have it already, or they may not be interested in it regardless of what you thought they were into. It really depends on the person, so just use good non-freaked out judgment and go from their.

POINT 3: Don't be lazy.

In the same way that you shouldn't "Freak out" about what to get them or run to the most obvious and first answer you come to...the main thing is just don't be lazy. Finding a present that means something to someone (especially someone that you aren't really close to) is not and should never be easy. If you don't know someone and you found their present in 10 minutes, there is a good chance they're going to hate it and they're going to know just how little you care. If you care that little about the person, at least give them a card or money or better yet...find a way out of buying them anything at all. There is no shame in no wanting to let some obscure person in your life know just how obscure they are. If they are obscure and they shouldn't be, let the true meaning of Christmas go to work and practice a little brotherhood and bonding with them. Repair the problem of not caring to know them and in the process you'll figure out a good thoughtful gift. In that way gifts can not only show how much someone means to you, but they can help you come to know someone that perhaps, you didn't before. Is it easy? No. Is it the right way to do it? Yes.

POINT 4: Remember why you're doing it.

If you're a Christian you give gifts as a way of showing gratitude for the gift of Jesus' life. If you aren't a Christian, why are you celebrating Christmas? I wish you would stop.
Because of the weight behind the reason for our giving presents, we should never give them half heatedly, out of obligation or regretfully. A gift is most often a physical item, but a good gift is good because of something that happens outside of the physical realm. It should be an earnest expression of appreciation for that person and above all for the common bond you both share that is the generosity of God. Only when totally focused on the true meaning of Christmas can we really enjoy it beyond its market value.

The Holiday Shopping season is officially open. With the right attitude you can make it the most merry one ever!

You may not be worth much in US$ but I'll bet you're worth a pretty Yen or two!