This time I'm writing out of a sense of obligation more than anything else. I figure this thing was set up as a chronicle of my college experience, I might as well chronicle it.
I hate it when I type stupid things like that and then realize that what I've just typed holds no real weight but was just to fill up space. Maybe you know what I mean, or maybe you don't.
I always seem to find myself writing in these periods when I'm about to leave some place. Right now I'm about to leave room A 5-308 for the rest of the year. I'm going home today to start what I can only imagine will be about two weeks of numbness to the world. I will sleep until 11. I will comb through page after page of ebay. I will eat an unhealthy amount of food. All of this will be done and nothing that I actually need to be doing will probably get done at all. This isn't me being a pessimist - it's me being realistic. I've been doing this for 15 years now, I kind of have a knack for the prediction.
In the midst of all of that, however, there are still some things that I hope to get done fairly soon. I want to test out my recorder that I bought back in August and, well, actually record something. No one will probably ever hear what is recorded and that is fine with me. I will practice guitar and FINALLY GET PAST LESSON 7. Dang it! I really want to do that. I also want to send out some Christmas cards and visit a few choice friends - I hope that goes well.
Looking back on this semester, it's been pretty fun. I've made lots of new friends and finally lifted fully from the funk that set in on me a year ago. There are plenty of new people that I'm excited to be hanging out with - and pipe smoking and tea drinking (good grief, how have I not written a post on tea drinking?) I also have that final spring semester that's looking like it shaped up quite nicely. I have a senior seminar in both film and English to fill out my requirements for each major, a final literature class, a random garbage class to get the 124 hours needed for graduation and finally, an internship which is needed for my professional writing certification (yes, the person who writes the garbage you are now reading is being certified by an accredited university as a professional writer). That's pretty exciting because through a crazy turn of events I got hooked up with a really cool writer who lives here in Wilmington and, long story short, I think I'll be able to put GQ as an internship on my resume. I'm sure I'll have a lot to write about concerning my time working under Mr. John Sullivan next year.
Now it's 3:40 and I have ten tons of stuff to pack and a shower to take before I can leave.
I want a lawn tractor and a field of spam asap. Who's ready for canned shavings?
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Monday, December 03, 2007
One of Those Vases Filled With Dead Sticks
Tis the season
Exam season, that is. This is my second to last time (possibly ever) having an exam season and so I don't know quite what to think at this point. Do I cherish every moment of the sweaty 5-hour long library sessions, writing page after page of sub-par material that will somehow still get a B+, or do I dread it as per usual? Whatever the answer, one this is for absolute certain. Tried and true, time and again, and this time is no exception - I'm sick for exams! This time it's just a head cold and hopefully it'll go away before I get to the weekend (where writing will start to get heavy) but I realized that in my 4 years I've developed a knack for dealing with "the sickness." In light of this, I've decided to provide, below, a volume that is sure to be cherished for years to come. Presenting:
Uncle Nathan's Book of Home/Dorm Remedies for the Physically Agitated - and Soul.
There are just some samples, the full book will be published later.*
Cold Sores
Take a razor blade and shave of a very tiny amount of paint from your dorm's cinderblock walls. Buy a can of dip and mix the paint into a pinch and apply it directly to the cold sore. Fix it in place with a bandage. The latex in the paint reacts with the tobacco to produce something good that is then absorbed directly into the sore. The sore will begin to go away in 7-14 days.
Bad Roommates
For this one you'll need a bagpipe (note: you don't have to know how to play it well) and be willing to use the produce drawer of your fridge as a urinal. Need I say more? They'll get a room transfer.
Animal Control
For the usual infestation of roaches, a quick call to housing maintenance will do the trick - in about two weeks when they finally come to dust the place. For more exotic pests, such as the locust or a charging rhino, see section on flame thrower.
Feel Better
Did you get an F on the Spanish test? Did your boyfriend break up with you again? Maybe the rancid smell of your own feet just has you feeling less than confident. Here is a trick that works instantly for lifting the spirits. 1)Buy a gift of $99.00 or more. 2) Give it to me.
For more on my book or information where to send me presents (Christmas or mood-lifting varaity) please send me an email. I'd be happy to pass that information along.
Literacy is weo aivh ienl ij anoiwe mmeahu. ?
Exam season, that is. This is my second to last time (possibly ever) having an exam season and so I don't know quite what to think at this point. Do I cherish every moment of the sweaty 5-hour long library sessions, writing page after page of sub-par material that will somehow still get a B+, or do I dread it as per usual? Whatever the answer, one this is for absolute certain. Tried and true, time and again, and this time is no exception - I'm sick for exams! This time it's just a head cold and hopefully it'll go away before I get to the weekend (where writing will start to get heavy) but I realized that in my 4 years I've developed a knack for dealing with "the sickness." In light of this, I've decided to provide, below, a volume that is sure to be cherished for years to come. Presenting:
Uncle Nathan's Book of Home/Dorm Remedies for the Physically Agitated - and Soul.
There are just some samples, the full book will be published later.*
Cold Sores
Take a razor blade and shave of a very tiny amount of paint from your dorm's cinderblock walls. Buy a can of dip and mix the paint into a pinch and apply it directly to the cold sore. Fix it in place with a bandage. The latex in the paint reacts with the tobacco to produce something good that is then absorbed directly into the sore. The sore will begin to go away in 7-14 days.
Bad Roommates
For this one you'll need a bagpipe (note: you don't have to know how to play it well) and be willing to use the produce drawer of your fridge as a urinal. Need I say more? They'll get a room transfer.
Animal Control
For the usual infestation of roaches, a quick call to housing maintenance will do the trick - in about two weeks when they finally come to dust the place. For more exotic pests, such as the locust or a charging rhino, see section on flame thrower.
Feel Better
Did you get an F on the Spanish test? Did your boyfriend break up with you again? Maybe the rancid smell of your own feet just has you feeling less than confident. Here is a trick that works instantly for lifting the spirits. 1)Buy a gift of $99.00 or more. 2) Give it to me.
For more on my book or information where to send me presents (Christmas or mood-lifting varaity) please send me an email. I'd be happy to pass that information along.
Literacy is weo aivh ienl ij anoiwe mmeahu. ?
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