Boy, the Seachickens are out in Force

Fortress for God
Originally uploaded by link5001.

My A/V wings have yet to stretch, but my current learning tells me that a TV/VCR unit could make the world go 'round. I have spent much of my time arranging them, lifting them, pushing them on carts, and in general, showing them all of my love. I have also learned that the windows to the front of Hatch are excellent places for posting notices with hard to scrape off scotch tape, AND that Hatch auditorium must also be occasionally buffered. I have no proof of this however, because the giant buffer that sits awkwardly in the Janitor closet that I organized looks as if it hasn't been used since the last dime of Rachel Hatch's money was spent building this place.
Needless to say, I still have much to gain from this summer and I await it gleefully. When I think of something witty and humorous to write about later on, I'll be sure to write it here, but for now, I think I'll choreograph a dance of the TV/VCR units on their carts.
Because that would be awesome...

Squeeze me like a lemon!

Orange Kool Aid Marks a Day of Glory!

Pigeon a fit!
Originally uploaded by link5001.

I had a FANtastic day today. I got up and went to work where I did the usual Hatch stuff and took some great new pictures, one of which you can see here above the post. I used 7 pictures to create the panorama in my new banner, which I hope to use in a staff website or in some other way relating to my job. I took several more and maybe I'll put them up later.
I'm still really enjoying what's going on here but it's a very busy place! I barely have time to update. I'm sunburned and very tired but never fear! If it's reading you desire my sister has twice updated so you can head over to her blog, What'Sloan My Mind I must go, for now, but I shall return soon!

You laugh, but I'm not the only one to have the "Night of the Living Deli Meat" nightmare!

Tragic Laminating Machine Accident

Settling down

Most of the staff is here now and we're all getting along with one another quite well. I love that, as Aaron Hinton pointed out yesterday, on the first night everyone was already in the halls dancing around to the song "Jump on it" which is sure to become a theme, of sorts, for the summer. In other news I am completely out of shape. Yesterday, four of us got together on the parade grounds and played a little ultimate frisbee. With only 6 people there was a LOT of running involved. My staggering around in the grass combined with the constant onslaught of dive-bombing gnats and blood sucking vermin called for constant movement so we were all pretty tuckered out after about 25 minutes.

Now I'm just going to pick a random topic and go off on it, as is my usual, yet recently diminishing habit. Got to get back on track you know.

Do you ever get frustrated with your dreams? The one time in life you can be and do anything you want and for some reason, at least in my case, you can never have cool ones. I knew I hit rock bottom when, just the other day, I dreamed I was rolling around in my bed. Yes. My bunk bed. I had an overhead view of it in fact. How BORING is that? Some people Fly and get ladies and all sorts of cool stuff. Tommy gets to be in video games everyone once in a while...
Now you can take that for what you will but it's still better than rolling around in bed.
I bet someone could make a lot of money with a machine that let you control your dreams. But then some people really wouldn't ever wake up. That would stink, kind of. Depends on who you gave it to.

Nathan's A/V tip of the day: Never mistake "the limelight" for a 500 watt citrus colored spotlight. It is NOT flavored!!!

Requesting the Fake Cheese

Yes, it's Bono
Originally uploaded by link5001.

You too?

Though in my sister's never ending slackness she has yet to update her blog with information on her recent trip to see the most famous band in the world, U2, in Pennsylvania last weekend, I thought I'd mention that I, too, have fallen victim to the lure of seeing them in person. It turns out she found floor tickets to the show in Charolette on December 19 and though the tickets were retardedly expensive, the show was sold out and we decided to suck it up and buy some tickets. So I have something to look forward to for the rest of the year. Now my only hope is that Bono doesn't go crazy and start drooling on people close to the catwalk as he has been known to do. Though I know some fans would revel in Bono Sweat/Saliva, I am a bit more of a casual fan than that.

Today I moved into Caswell. I'm back in the same room but I took the bed that Jeffery Shearin occupied last summer. I'll be sure to treat it well. Everything seems to be going well thus far but most of the staff still has yet to show up. I'm sure they'll all be delightful, or at the very least easily disposed of. Let the A/Ving commence!

I thought I smelled fresh badger cooking on the grill but evidentially it was just some only lady burning leaves.

When I Last Left You

Star Wars was awesome, if very sad. Go see it.

In other news, I'm packing. Tomorrow morning it's Caswell-ho.

Go to my Flickr Photo Album to see yet another picture of me...but this time there is a better reason than me having a new toy weapon. Actually, that's totally up for interpretation.

Take it easy. Now I'm off to do the saddest thing I've had to do in a while. Yes, I'm going to cancel my xbox live subscription. May the Force be with me.

A Little Logic Shuts Them Up

I ain't no holla back girl...

I despise that song so very much. Tomorrow will be a sad day. I have to get up early and work, then wash my car, and then if possible begin bringing crap out to the car in preparation for leaving Friday morning. Add to that a healthy dose of shortened hair and I may be shedding a few tears by the end of the day. The good news is, I'll be able to see star wars at midnight.

You ever wanted something so, so VERY badly but not had access to it and so you want to rip the jaw off a gundark?

Elvis said, "Lemar, I have found my eyeglass man."

Yes, Yes it is my Natural Color
Originally uploaded by link5001.

The force is krunk with this one.

My sincere apologies up front for the use of the urban slang term "krunk" on my blog. I just wasn't thinking and honestly, the delete key is too far from my pinky to manage the trip.

On the eve of the day before the day I will be waiting in line for the midnight screening of Star Wars Ep. III, I have to say I'm finally getting really excited. Why? Because there is only so much that can be screwed up this time around.
Pretty much everything that happens we already learned about in the old (good) trilogy and so I'm hoping all we'll have to do is sit back and watch the beautiful dark story unfold.

On a related subject, my good friend, and insane Bat-fan, Matt, really tilted my cheese wheel today by suggesting that in a fight with a Jedi, Batman could win.

OK OK, WAIT A Bat-second! Is there actually anyone out there that really thinks Bruce Wayne would have the midichlorians it takes to face a Jedi and come out without smoldering kneecaps? I think not.
I mean, maybe if Bats did that whole sneaky sneaky shadow lurking thing and bataranged one in the back he'd make it, but open one on one, no way.

Let's think about it. Jedi have
1) the power of the Force
and
2) THEY DON'T NEED ANYTHING ELSE TO WHOOP UP ON HIM.

They have force push, deflect, force pull on anything of reasonable size, (objects, doors, Batman) and they have force enhanced reflexes. What does just about every gadget Batman relies on count on? Catching someone with a physical blow or projectile. Uh huh, USELESS. Your precious kryptonite ring won't help you here "dark knight." It's time to be cut down to size by a JEDI KNIGHT!

So in my initial shock I went around asking people on AIM what they thought. After much deliberation, Matt Stevens decided on Jedi because he remembered...
...they got robes.
Apparently wearing robes makes you "old school" so you can take out anyone. Details aside, the young man made a fine choice.

"Bladder control...
this is primary kidney, you may fire when ready"

How to Get Professionally Beaten Up by a Girl

Hipsters 'R Hill?

When you get to know a girl like Michelle Tripp for a while, and you go without her for an even longer while, you certainly can feel a hole in your life as a "cool" person. Such has been the case in my life as of late because of, well, that exact reason. You see, Michelle Tripp is a trip, to put it completely witty and humorously. I met her two years ago while working at Caswell and we've been good friends ever since, even when she gives me the cold shoulder for 6 to 8 months. I finally caught up with her in Garner today and she took me to one of the hipster centres of the state, Franklin Street in Chapel Hill.

Now, I may have been to Chapel "Thrill" at some point in my past but if so, I don't really remember it, so I'll count this as my first Tripp. (It really never gets old does I....ok I'll stop)
I must say, if I had the raw intelligence to get them to take a second look at my transcript, I might actually think of transferring to UNC at some point. It's a really nice town. "The Street," which was initially rather bare and boring when we arrived at 6:30, really filled out in the later hours whilst we coffee shop hopped from place to place. The hustle and bustle of college students and 20-somethings really made for a friendly atmosphere that I have yet to experience in downtown Wilmington.
Now, to be fair, I rarely left campus at UNCW this past year, but the times I did there just seemed to be a lot of scary fanged emo/devil kids, freshly escaped from high school roaming around. At Chapel Hill things weren't like that. If someone mugged you, they'd at least be classy about it. At one point during the night I almost felt like I should see a horse and buggy on the road rather than the pesky cars that flittered here at there. It just had that quaint charm to it.
For everyone that hates Chapel Hill I'll give you something to grasp, to as far as continuing to like me, in conceding that this has only been my first impression and upon visiting again I could still find something to hate. Rest assured that with my pessimistic view on public schools, it could happen. Thanks again to Michelle for the ride to cool town.

When I think of how you classily mug someone, I'll be sure to write it in great detail for you guys. God Bless and GOODNIGHT!

All the Cool Kids Have Gills

Sting
Originally uploaded by link5001.

As if their smell wasn't alarm enough...

WARNING: If you are not a geek/Lord of the Rings fan, ignore this post!!!

Thanks to the WONDERS of the Replica Props Forum (rpf.invisionzone.com) I was able to locate a STELLAR deal and cash in on it today. The sword you see pictured above is none other than Master Replica's "Sting FX" sword. Let me tell you what this little gem does.

Originally intended to be of the same scale as Master Replica's "Force FX Sabers" from Star Wars, these were pricey upon release, around $130. It's a DARN fine looking replica of Sting, the sword of Frodo, and as you can tell from the picture is pretty convincing metal. Well what makes it "FX" and what probably put it's sales down the toilet is the fact that it has a plastic blade to accommodate the glowing blue ORC warning from the film. The effect is supposedly very convincing, I wouldn't know because I haven't paid the $12 for lithium batteries. It even makes a little hum and has 6 different clashing sounds.
Even without the effects it has been an AMAZING deal. When the FX are off it looks like a REAL BLADE. The plastic was metalized using real metal. Close inspection reveals some transparent parts around the text on the blade and the handle is fake wood but it also has a surprisingly heavy zinc alloy hilt and is a complete authentic reproduction of the original as far as design and elvish text. This is the LotR fan's diamond in the rough.

As I said, originally $130...last year it was only $40 with a special voucher, an obvious sign that people didn't trust the plastic blade. How much did I pick it up for?

$15 on clearance

That's right, if you like Lord of the Rings or you have several friends that do I can't STRESS to you enough how important it is for you to head to your local Toys R Us (that's the only place that has them I believe) and buy up as many as they have left on the clearance isle. As the box indicates, this is NOT a toy but a serious collector's item and at a CRAZY good price. It even comes with a display stand that can be used to display the sword horizontally or on a wall with the blade hanging down.

I'm giddy with delight...

sadly I didn't even really like Lord of the Rings...oh well...YAAAAAY!

Why Did They Lose the Scrubbing Bubbles? That Was the Best Thing They Had Going for Them!

FO Drug Co
Originally uploaded by link5001.

Shoppe or just regular old Shop

Pretty much the only thing people have to do in Four Oaks and surrounding areas is to shop in the little stores. By little stores I mean places like drug stores, sandwich shops, and gas stations, (though a gas station can become a real megalopolis by comparison.) I once worked in one such store, Kerr Drug in Benson, and let me tell you, the general public are some strange animals.
After a while the way people in the south (myself included) repeat the same phrases/jokes when purchasing stuff is really amazing, but really annoying. Take for example the age old classic, when whatever item they want doesn't ring up for whatever reason and they explain, "Taht must mean iis FREE!" followed by a hearty fake laugh. Or how in our particular store we offered a variety of nuts. For some reason people felt the urge to request the "Cashew Nuts." Every time they ordered them the exact same way, as if I may mistake them for some "cashew lighters" or a "cashew bandage."
Oh the cashew nuts, of course ma'am, right away.
And while they're on the topic of the nuts, what constitutesfresh nuts? From time to time we'd get customers asking us if they were fresh. What do they want me to say?
"Yes sir, we have a team of midgets in the stock room whose job it is to daily roast, crack open, and mix the nuts...just for you!"
They're nuts! We rip open a plastic bag and pour them in the sanitary covered trays! SHEESH!

Then there's always that customer with the blank soulless expression on their face. The one that you feel has black pupils because their eyes are just like glass and you can see straight into the emptiness of their skulls. Yeah, those guys are the ones that put a 25 cent pack of gum on the counter with a fresh Benjamin. Or, if they don't do that, they pay with a little balled up $1 bill that is mysteriously damp, which instantly makes me want to yak.

Enough about that though, my friend Matt still works at that store and has many interesting stories to tell of it. Like the time he and the assistant manager, Anthony, were talking and one of them made the comment, "You just don't see cowboys anymore." About an hour later they hear "CHING....CHING," and look up from the photo counter to see two real cowboys, clad in spurs, wranglers, vests, and of course, big hats, coming through the sliding front doors. Or earlier today when a man came in who sounded just like Clint Eastwood and asked "Where's your lubricant?" These are the small joys you don't get from other places, so I suppose it all balances out.

I particularly love Four Oak's little drug store, aptly named "The Four Oaks Drug Co." which still carries items from the 60s and 70s. Today I noticed a set of glasses straps that hold your glasses to your head with a faded out 60-ish drawing of a man in black horn-rimmed glasses on the front. Another favorite was a Kodak camera that I almost grabbed from across the counter. My "Jones" instinct urged me to shout, "THIS BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!" My sister and I often chuckle at the bottle of "Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific!" shampoo that was once in the hair care section. Sigh...good times good times...
I should go in there any buy that stuff up....YOINK!

Who wants to go the the heavy metal xylophone concert tonight? ...I think it just means the bars are bigger...

Then One Cobb of Corn Suddenly Started Talking About Oprah...

A more stable life.

Friday was really rainy and miserable but somehow I was able to muster the motivation necessary to roam around Smithfield's hardware shops for about an hour and a half obtaining pieces of a camera stabilizer that is made from common plumbing. These devices, invented in the 1970s, are most commonly called "SteadyCams." Now, REAL steadycams are strange gyroscopic vests with a mechanical arm on them and counterweights, these are used with real cameras. You may have first noticed their use in the famous "running sequence" from the film Rocky. What they do is allow the camera to achieve a fairly balanced perspective while still being handheld. In theory this is what it should do for me and my small Sony HandyCam but more likely it'll serve as a distraction that will lead both me and my camera into a faceplant.

I found the plans from this asian guy's web site, $14 Steadycam, and with a little help from Matt and his dad's power drill (which we used to drill through 1/4" GALVANIZED STEEL, UUUUGH!!!!) it all came together in a matter of a couple of hours, maybe not even that much. So far it seems pretty neat but Mr. Wizard lied, it cost me about $20 to make it.
...eh...I'll get over it.

Hopefully Matt and I will be making that movie sometime this week and it'll be sufficiently interesting enough to put on my DVD. If not I can at least make fun of how bad it is. Working under these conditions, what do you expect?

Today, being Mother's day and all, I made the trip over to my aunt's house to have a joyous "get-together." Joyous it was indeed, especially in that I got my first exposure to truly horrible cinema thanks to Mystery Science Theater's presentation of "Manos: The Hands of Fate." After overcoming the sheer disturbance factor from the idea that such a movie exists, I was able to enjoy chitchatting with the fam. AWWWW

At one point in time it was believed that a small strand of gold could be found in the core of squirrel tails. In light of this, most primitive gold diggers ripped apart town parks and back yards in an effort to find the mother load, sadly endangering this adorable creature's natural habitat.

The Lights from the River Cabin

Home Again, Home Again...
Originally uploaded by link5001.

3,030 Miles later

Knowing well that I wouldn't have the will power to survive the exhausting trip home, and then back to Wilmington after being in the brain-sucking company of my fine friends from Caswell during reunion last January, I decided to pack up all of my dorm belongings and make reunion and my reentry to school this past semester, a single venture. On a whim before I left I decided to tap the old Trip-O-Meter on the dash just to get an idea for how much I actually drive. The engine on the old "Heck"splorer fired up and into the clear blue east I went.

Semesters should be called "Yousuckbecausetimehatesyouesters," I think most anyone would agree with me. If you've ever read my blog before, (and I applaud you if you haven't, turn back now while you still have joy in your heart) then you know that I, like any young individual, had set many lofty goals for myself this past semester. You know what those goals do? They stare you right in the face and you start snarling at them, then you think about Doritos. Yeah, and then you start to wonder if they really ARE NachoCHEESIER, or if they just put that on the bags. So you get on eBay and you buy a 1993 bag and wait for it to come in, JUST to confirm it for yourself.

Maybe I'm the only one that would do that...and only if such an inclination struck me, but you get my point. Anything seems more interesting than actually putting forth the effort to do the things that you know would be really cool to do. That's what always happens to me anyway. OK, not always, I did get some cool stuff done this spring...like the Panda stuff, "Unfortunate," a new hit radio show, etc. etc. (haha) but seriously, is it just me or is time getting annoying?

Getting onto the subject of large scull portraits, that is exactly what I found on a HUGE canvas when I entered my dad's office today. He painted the disturbing image, featuring a brooding young man inside the brain, back when he was in college. I'll be picking that piece up for the old dorm later on!
You see, I also have lofty goals for the 2 weeks I'm going to be based here in my home town of Four Oaks. I want to get a movie made, get started on my book, design some more items for my store, give my hot ride a cool bath, transfer all my short "films" onto a DVD for the masses, and baste a large young turkey in a pan covered with aluminum foil. To complete such tasks I need an information HUB with the resources and space necessary for the workings of a lame, genius mind. Naturally I pick my father's downtown office which is outfitted in broadband networking cables. ((maniacal laugh))

Everything is cozy now...but I haven't unloaded my baggage from school. It's all still in the two vehicles it took to move me out. Move out, yes, move out day, yesterday, was a sad, sad day. I wish I could go back actually. It would be nice to sit in my gray plastic chair under the watchful eye of Kittyana Jones and Roach. Sadly it happens that my time with dear Roach has ended. Fortune smiled upon me for a brief 9 months, then, as is it's custom, frowned like an angry, wet monkey in a fez. Don't get me wrong, the guy's farts could knock a whale flat.....a Pacific whale, but he was a good roomie. I'm going to miss him, even if the punk is soaking up the rays in Puerto Rico right now.

Of course there are others I'll miss, faces I may never see again, and one in particular that is breaking my heart, but as they say, pain is weakness leaving the body. Sigh. It's also sad to not be an 18 year old Freshman anymore. I'll never be a freshman again...gulp...and that kind of leaves me with a sick feeling in my stomach. You know, one that is something akin to the feeling one gets after consuming a large quantity of Chinese take-out, but I suppose I'll get over it. There are bright years ahead right? RIGHT??
Of course there are.

Exams went.

...
...that's it, they went. I'm not commenting on how well or unwell I think I did because in either case I'd be risking making a fool out of myself when my final grades make their eventual appearance on UNCW's Seaweb. I will say that my first two grades in Global History, and Intro to Lit have made made me mildly happy, being a B+ and an A respectively. Of course, those were my good classes. My grades for Math, Psych, and ...gulp, Intro to Film Studies have yet to rear their ugly heads and start singing annoying Christmas jingles at me. As soon as they do I'm sure you'll find me wincing in agony on the floor somewhere.

As it turns out, the tripometer just did peep it's head over the 3,000 mark on my way back. I had forgotten it's silent duty once again as I rushed the final 30 or so miles home, trying to beat the setting sun that was flooding across my face. The sun does that you know, when it's setting. Setting in the West, and I faced it, moving like a madman away from my Eastern haven and all that I've grown to love there.
I missed the big moment, the 3,000. Something about my sun-dazed driving mindset snapped in me, strangely, and caused me to glance down just as the "1" ticked into a "2" in the ones digit space. Sad that I came so close to seeing it, but appropriate, very, for it would seem that's how life always treats me. It gives me a good look at what I almost had, and hardens me for the future. Next time, I won’t miss a thing.

At this point, Nathan stands up from his computer and a strong but silent tear streams down his clinched jaw as he stares upwards, into the great unknown...

Check out my links for freshly uploaded pictures in my Flickr Album and new Jump Cut Radio stuff.
As Roach would say, "Peace"