If It Ain't An Avacado, What Is It?

dorm 2
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.

A Salute to Schwartz

It was cold this morning, surprisingly so. Sent myself a very important email, tossed on a jacket, and headed out the door. When I got to the library I printed out 14 beautiful pages that almost stung my hands as I took them to the stapler. Laser printers are hot. A short walk to Morton from the library was my last responsibility. There, in the creative writing office, I sealed the deal by putting the paper in my nonfiction instructors mail box. My last responsibility as a sophomore was over.

Walking back I didn't feel any different, which surprised me. I thought I would be hit with an instant surge of sentimental notions and of fear since these first two years of school have gone by so quickly. I'm halfway to it and the real world isn't going to slow down for me. Rather than fear or sentimentality for the school years themselves I've found myself having sentimental notions about something much more tangible. I'm going to miss my dormitory, Schwartz Hall.

Since the first time I saw it, rain soaked from hurricane weather on August 15, 2004, this big place has been a shelter for me. In room 314 I've done a good bit of growing physically, emotionally and spiritually. Both years my roommates have left me in here all alone for the last few days. Of course it's lonely but it is especially so now that I know I won't be coming back. In recognition of what these first two years in Schwartz Hall has meant to me, I'm going to give a brief salute to Schwartz and it's people. Seven memorable Schwartz moments!

1. Move-in day.
Move in day was misery. As mentioned above it was raining and we had to haul all our stuff through it. I was already nervous as could be but at least I knew I had a couple of days alone before my roommate, who I'd never met before, moved in. Imagine my surprise when I got up to 314 and there was stuff already there! My blonde roommate, a sophomore, came in earlier than he was supposed to, likely to make sure he got what he wanted. Of course I didn't want to get started on the wrong foot, I said nothing. Coming straight from Baptist camp at Caswell and hearing about the crazy people of college I was very nervous. As soon as my parents left he opened the fridge, pulled out a beer, and cracked it open. I don't think I'd ever seen a beer consumed in such close proximity to me before, I almost passed out. That was my introduction to Roach.

2. First day of class.
I thought I was going to soil my pants when I woke up. I made it through though, and many more came!

3. Sick Roach.
A drunken roach comes into our room early in the morning, wakes me up, pukes out the window, and passes out. For more information see the archives here.

4. Robert Sterner Jr.
Though technically not an even, Bob was a wonderful RA. He's been the Wellness floor RA for 3 years now and as I leave this semester he leaves for grad school. If you don't know him you're missing out on a great personality.

5. First Caro-kiss.
Happened in the third floor common room on November 21, 2004 (I think.) In any case it was a little more than a month before we started officially going out. As scandalous as that sounds, you don't want to start dating someone right before a long Christmas break, come on now!

6.Being sick.
When do you bond more with a place than when you're bedridden and forced to stare at it's walls every waking moment for days? I caught a strange virus that kept me out of class for the better part of a week in October of 2004 and more recently, right around exam time fall 2005, I got a bad case of the mono. Glad to be over those but at least I'm coming out with an improved immune system!

7. Living with Devin.
Devin gets a mention because he's been my roommate for the past year. He makes me laugh a lot. Maybe someday he'll be forced to wean himself from the zombifying effects of music, movies and TV. When that happens you'll know what I mean. I kid Devin, I kid!

So there you have it. If I think of any more in the next couple of days I'll add them, it is by far not a definitive list. Schwartz, you've been more than a home to me, you been a good pal!

David Blaine....you failed...but America is still completely creeped out by you. Keep up the good work!

Ham Biscuit Train

COMING TOMORROW: A POST FOR THE AGES. COME BACK TO WILMINGSLOAN FOR:

A SALUTE TO SCHWARTZ!

AS I PREPARE TO LEAVE THE DORM WHERE SO MUCH CHANGED IN MY LIFE, IT'S TIME TO REFLECT ON IT ALL. DON'T MISS THE THRILLING CONCLUSION!!!!

Her Magic Push Ups

I'm a member of Campus Christian Fellowship but it's recently come to my attention that we aren't the Only CCF thats floating around. Thats right, you all know what I'm talking about. The Cheetah Conservation Fund. I don't know if you have a charity to support yet but why not support the repopulation of viscious man-eating cats? Go knock yourselves out!

EXAMS ARE KILLING ME!

Shame on You, The Duke Indeed!

I'm too gullible.

Yesterday at Barnes and Noble I went to the Starbucks and saw some of the prettiest water I've ever seen. It's Fiji brand and it comes in a rectangular bottle with a little tropical scene label on the back so that when you look through the front you see palm fronds and ripples. This water is $2.50 a liter but looking at the beautiful exterior I couldn't resist. After all, this was untainted water from the virgin ecosystem of the islands of Fiji. In our acid rain filled world of Aquafina, Dasani, and Le Blue it's just too hard to resist that claim.

Unfortunately for me I failed to remember that water gets turned into a gas, carried all over the face of the planet, and redeposited wherever. In the case of Fiji brand they actually had the audacity to say on the back of the bottle that "The purest water comes from the purest clouds. Our rainfall is purified by trade winds as it travels thousands of miles across the Pacific Ocean to the islands of Fiji." Oh yeah, that sounds really scientifically accurate. The old "purified by the trade winds" bit. Perhaps I'd be satisfied if they cared to explain, rather than fancifully state how their water is clean. In my head I'm picturing a bunch of creative guys in Fiji filling up pretty bottles barefoot in the creek behind their "processing plant" or as it's more likely referred to, the house.

I wouldn't be so upset but it seems that my $2.50 bottle of water that looked so delicious, was actually the most disgusting water I've ever had. Never, never buy it. You have been warned.

I demand TEN LAYERS in my lasagna and if I count 9 it's going to be your JOB!

Thoughts Formulated While Gnawing on a Cotton Ball

Don't ask...

Ten things I wish I had right now that don't go in a waffle cone:

->1800's banker sideburns
->One of those things on Star Trek that materializes any food you want
->The ability to tell people I punched a shark in the gills to scare it away and not be lying
->Two mahogany framed degrees with my name on them (of any discipline)
->A real functioning light saber
->A pet deer that talked (only to me) about it's favorite literature
->My own forge and blacksmithing studio
->Belt with holsters for candy bars
->3-story tall mechanical Panda with R/C remote
->Frozen yogurt...oh wait..DANG IT!

And all the Hillbillies in the choir stoically raised their pitchforks in respect.

Pull the Pin and Let the Metal Ring

Southport trip!
Originally uploaded by The Sloan.

Once again...I have failed my loyal readers by not posting on the correct time spot. It's ok though because I HAVE posted the day after and so now the actual posting shall commence.

You know what? It's about time someone shed light on the anti-social's favorite; the cell phone bluff.

First of all, let me say I'm totally guilty of this. Second of all I'm writing about it because I want to see who else is either guilty, or suspects themselves of having been victim. Ok, so here it is. The Cell Phone Bluff is the (as far as I can tell) the common practice of checking your cell phone strategically in order to avoid awkward passing moments with people you know vaguely. What I mean by this is that when person A spots person B from a distance ( person B is someone who they don't know all that well, but well enough that they should say something to them), person A picks up the cell phone and is like, "Wow, need to look at that clock...yeah...still looking at it. Hmmm. I think I'll reread all my text messages." In doing so Person A avoids having to say anything to them.

People are funny sometimes.

I like giant pandas.

Too Close for Missles, I'm Switching to Guns

It's the Sunday Post on Monday Morning!

The long haul has finally arrived. I'm now stuck with the daunting task of writing an 8 page research paper in one day. That's what I get for putting it off and having several other classes in which my stuff is also due at the exact same time. I feel kind of bad because yesterday I bought my first lotto scratch ticket for a dollar. Though that does disappoint I won $7 so I made $6. I'm thinking I might just stick it to the man and never buy another lotto ticket. That way I have still taken $6 for the state government, and more importantly...those noisy kids and their PUBLIC education. Wait a second...I was publicly educated...oh well.

Yesterday I drove all the way home with on windshield wiper blade half off. This wouldn't have been a big deal but after an hour the flapping against the glass gets to you. I'm not sure I'm completely mentally stable anymore, but whose to say I ever was in the first place.

...Don't touch my ancient Chinese Bronze Bells!

My Humble Wigwam

As promised I updated now on a Thursday. I know you didn't think I would, it's ok, I'll forgive you eventually.

So, much has happened since my last post. On Friday I got to see Franz Ferdinand (eh) and my personal favorite, Death Cab for Cutie in concert at Duke. Caroline took me as a part of my birthday present and it was a lot of fun (aside from my inability to navigate unfamiliar urban areas without freaking out). You can find four pictures from the concert in myFlickr photo album. If you haven't exposed yourself to Death Cab yet I highly suggest your doing so.
...
and by that I mean listening to their music, not literally exposing yourself to them. That would just be weird

So yes indeed, I did turn 20 this weekend. Surprisingly I feel as if I'm moving out of the glory years of youth already. I know 80, or even 40 year old Nathan would probably wish he could go back in time and smack the current 20 for being so dumb, but it's just one of those things I guess.

I might as well get the bad news out in the open, I didn't have an especially good birthday this year. I really enjoyed spending Sunday afternoon with my family and with Caroline, (we went to Carabbas for lunch) but when we came home we found a sad sight. Bandit, our Yorkshire terrier of 11 years, was in a pitiful state. It was a very sad night for me already but after Caroline and I headed back for Wilmington he apparently took a turn for the worst. Sad story short, the sweetest and best dog I've ever known passed away late that night. I wouldn't mention the whole event because I don't like sad stuff on my blog, but I felt I needed to because I just enjoyed that dog so much and he deserves some kind of recognition from me. I grew up with Bandit and he was, in many ways, my best friend as a child. As we both got older I neglected him and I'm regretting that now. All of you that have pets you enjoy that are still alive need to go out of your way to treat them well because we don't get that much time with them. Our house just won't be the same without his guardian bark coming from the back of the house. I miss him already.

Questionable Irritations

Out of the Blue-ish mists.

Well ladies and gentlemen, I have lots to cover this evening.
First thing's first! I have been SOOOOO busy. This has been, hands down, my busiest semester and I think that has really reflected in the content of this blog. I'm pleased to report however that from henceforth I'm going to re-organize WilmingSloan and bring order to this chaos. Effective (almost) immediately, WilmingSloan will be updated on a bi-weekly basis and at regular times. That's right, Every Sunday and Thursday WilmingSloan WILL be updated. In addition I've decided to at least try to write about interesting things (e.g. not my life) and take you, dear reader, into my whimsical world of off-beatedness. After all, isn't that how this all began in the first place?

Secondly, I support Chef Boyardee in all his endeavors, regardless of what the press has to say about this recent scandal.

Thirdly, (and with notable emphasis) This Sunday will be my 20th birthday and I will officially NOT be young, but rather an un-hip older person still trying to masquerade as one who is still "with it." One day I will look on those words with disgust, most likely on my 41st birthday.

Fourthly...as long as I'm on the Internet kick, I might as well mention that my gimpy Internet counterpart, nathansloan.com, will be updated at some point this month with new reading reviews and hopefully a better-looking interface. From then on the site will be updated PROMPTLY on the first day of every month.

Fifthly, I have yet to mention that I am officially going back to the big Caswell for a fourth summer and I will be reclaiming the position of A/V guy. I'd use the word stoked to express my emotion towards this if I didn't hate that word so very much.

I think that just about covers it. I'm sure there is more that I've left out but I'll return on Sunday to cover that AS WELL AS the Death Cab/Franz Ferdinand concert that Caroline is taking me to tomorrow night and any other interesting birthday festivities. Ciao my Internet friends!

P.S. I'm thinking of starting up titles that actually are relevant to the entries. What do you guys think?

#3

Rider Backed

He had the joker in his wallet
when they killed him.
The bag was zipped up already,
the last time those eyes looked to the sky
was something like five minutes
ago.

His parents may not yet know the news
I wish I didn't.
A circle of disconnected
officers, smoking their cigarettes
block out the nightmares that come
and go.

His name, Anthony, on his license
tucked in a sleeve
reminds me of a college friend
a magician, who pulled the aces
from the space behind my ears,
and laughed.

I know this isn't him, but again
I see the card
among his loved one's photographs
like a member of the family,
and can't help thinking, maybe?
But no.

What a crazy slip! That was at least
ten years ago.
The kid who's wallet I'm holding
was no peer of mine. The flow of time
and the prank of a joker
fooled me.